Doctors Appointments: Otherwise known as dealing with administrative incompetence

I had called our OB/MFM and scheduled an appt for July 12 at 1:15. A couple days later (last week) someone called me and canceled that appt and gave me 2 more: one on the 7th in the morning for an u/s and another on the 26th for the doctor.

All weekend I kept thinking about it and it was bugging me that I wouldn't be seeing a doctor until the end of July...I'd be out of my first trimester by then! I called this morning, and finally seemed to speak to someone with 1/2 a brain. My appt on the 7th is my first OB appt with an ultrasound, I have another appt on the 8th for an ultrasound, and then the 26th is my first appt with the MFM.

Wait? What?! I have an appt on the 8th t00? Yup. The receptionist explained to me what it was for, but I honestly can't remember...it was something important sounding though. I now have TWO trips to Albany this week. It's a good thing medical mileage is tax deductible, because BOY am I going to have a lot of it! I am going to ask if I hang around can I get in for the other appt too.

~*~ETA UPDATE 7/6/11~*~
I got another phone call from the OB's office: My appt has been changed from 10am to 9:30am. Ok. I asked if there was any way that my appt on Friday could be done on Thursday, even if it was much later in the day: "You don't have an appt on Friday".

I told her I just spoke with someone yesterday and they said I had one Thursday, and another Friday. The appt on Friday, July 8th, was 2009. That's right, the person I talked to yesterday, told me about an appt from 2 years ago. I'm really glad I found that one out BEFORE driving to Albany AGAIN!

I'm quickly losing faith in this OB offices administrative abilities....this is ridiculous. I think I'm going to have to start taking names and keeping track of stuff better.

9 weeks and other pregnancy randomness

I feel surprisingly all right, which of course sends up red-flags constantly. I do at times feel nauseous and am definitely more tired than usual, but all in all I can't complain (I'm sure that will come later on). I have a few more days of taking my baby aspirin and 2.5 weeks left of my progesterone suppositories (which I will be so GLAD to be rid of).

I'm trying to do everything I'm supposed to. My friend, Sadie, sent me her copy of Dr. Luke's Twins, Triplets, and Quads, which has a lot of really great info, but let me just say the whole eating thing is overwhelming. I'm supposed to be consuming something like 3500 calories a day, including: 10 servings of dairy, 20 oz of red meats and a whole bunch of other stuff that, quite frankly, seems impossible!

I'm doing my best...which I guess is all I can do. So far I haven't lost nearly as much weight as I did with Ave, probably because I don't feel as nauseous and I'm growing 3 babies. I've lost about 5-6 lbs and I seem to be holding steady at that. Supposedly I'm to gain 30-40lbs (even though I'm 50lbs overweight to begin with) by 20 weeks. I'm going to be asking the doctor about that on Thursday. I know I need to eat right and get those calories in now, because soon there isn't going to be much room in my stomach.

I still can't wrap my head around triplets. Sometimes it just bowls me over, and honestly freaks me out, to think...."OH MY GOODNESS!!!! There are THREE IN THERE!" Honestly for the majority of the time I barely even think about it: I know there's 3, but it's like "Oh, ok".

My biggest thing is just keeping these babies in as long as possible. I will admit I am deathly afraid of losing one of them. I just "know" that it's 2 boys and a girl and the idea of losing a sister for Ave or a brother for one of the boys breaks my heart; even if I'm wrong about genders, it still would break my heart to lose one of these precious babies.

I've been looking at strollers and cribs and such. I never thought strollers would overwhelm me....fortunately we only have 2 to choose from. The sheer size of them and the cost are rather intimidating. We're not even sure we're going to get a stroller before next year. I honestly don't use one that often, and the only time I could think I would need a quad-stroller is at the fair, or if we go some place as a family...which, honestly, during the summer doesn't happen too often. It's one of those things I think we're going to hold off on.

As for cribs, I'm not really worrying about it too much. We're probably going to be going to Ikea toward the end of the summer and getting stuff there. Other places just want way too much money for cribs and such.

8 Weeks

How Far Along: 8 weeks

Size of Baby: They are the size of a kidney bean

Maternity Clothes: Not yet, but I am wearing shorts and t-shirts that I bought last year that were way too big...they're fitting quite nicely.

Weight Gain: I'm down 5lbs....not surprising

Stretch Marks: No new ones

Sleep: I love sleep....I usually take an hour nap in the afternoon when Miss A is down, and we're in bed most nights by 9:30 and I'm up with Ave whenever she gets up (anywhere between 6:30 and 8:30)

Best Moment of the Week: Hearing the heartbeats of two of our babies.

Movement: Nope

Symptoms: General blah feeling and being tired....definitely some food aversions and gagging issues when things are in my mouth too long (chewing, teeth brushing etc)

Food Cravings: Ice water

Gender: My guess: 2 boys and a girl (the girl because Ave was a late implanter and scientifically I think that smaller one was a later ovulation, which is why it was behind). Matt says 3 girls (I think that's his worst case scenario, not that it's a bad thing).

What I Miss: Not feeling like I have to pee....CONSTANTLY!

What I'm Looking Forward to: These babies cooking for a good long while!

Weekly Wisdom: Keep my tummy full of food.

Milestones: does 8 weeks count! First OB appt scheduled for 7/12....Matt will be able to go...yay!

Emotions: I'm over emotional...I see/read/watch the most ridiculous things and am crying. As far as the pregnancy...I feel emotionally ok about everything.

There will be pictures at some point, if I get around to taking them.

And the beat goes on....

Had my last RE appt today: Every thing looks good. Two of the babies are measuring ahead by 1 day (7w5d) with heart rates around 144-150, the third one is measuring a few days behind, but the heart was just a beating away (the nurse tried to get their heart-rate, but was having issues). Can I just say how increasingly uncomfortable it is to have internal ultrasounds....oh my goodness there is just so much pressure there!

I think we've told almost all of our family members, I can't think of anyone we've missed. Most everyone thought we were lying to them about it being triplets. Of course FIL keeps saying "for now" it's triplets....way to be a downer! Most everyone has absolutely no idea what to say when they're realize we're serious....it's actually kind of funny.

We're still holding off on telling the general populous for a while longer, at least 12 weeks, and maybe longer than that that it's triplets. For whatever reason, I am nervous as anything to tell people we're having 3 BABIES AT ONCE! I think it's mostly the judgment and pity that people pass on you. So nothing on facebo.ok yet. We might actually wait until after the fair, so that we can go "into hiding" to avoid people. Just let them think I'm uber fat :-P

I'm feeling ok, surprisingly ok...like I'm afraid to jinx it ok. I do feel crappy sometimes and I'm definitely tired (nap time is wonderful, even if my house does look like a tornado went through), but I don't feel much different from how I felt when pregnant with Ave. That may just be selective memory.

I did decide on an OB: We're going with AMC. I decided that in spite of the extra travel I would rather have just one doctor (or one practice) than deal with doctors not keeping each other informed. We'll see how it goes.

Oh, yea, and I'm definitely showing lol I guess that's par for the course since I have half of a basketball team in there :-)

Telling Family

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Confucius

What a journey this is going to be! I think we finally have the doctor thing, maybe, figured out. My RE suggested Albany Med, and I think we're going with them...simply because I think that is where any hospital would transfer the babies to for NICU care. There is no NICU, that I know of, in any of the hospitals nearby. I am going to ask them about seeing an OB closer to home for routine appts, but I have a feeling that even those are going to be short lived. I can just seem the doctor's office that delivered Ave, repeatedly telling me I'm measuring large for how many weeks I am.

 We have entirely different opinions from most people on what it means to "provide" for your children or live comfortably. To most people, it's more the high-life: Paying for college, traveling, extracurricular activities, but mostly paying for college and traveling. To us, it's providing them with a loving home and a solid foundation for life.

Before we even had Ave, Matt and I had already agreed we would not be paying for our kids college educations....we would help however we could, but they would have to foot the bill and/or work through school (I did...and it was a good thing). Even without kids we would probably not be able to afford extensive vacations through Europe (unless there are some phenomenal changes at the store :-P) Nor did we ever plan on having every kid in their own room.

We TRUST GOD to provide for our family. That doesn't mean we're stupid about finances and planning, but we do trust Him to grow our family and ultimately provide for it. Definitely a leap of faith that is not easy to take, and one that needs to be recommitted to frequently.

Triple the trouble!

Here's their first picture (well second really)...the nurse was trying to get a good shot of all three of them, but it wasn't working.
They're all looking good and the little one from last week caught up...all though, they're all a bit behind, but nothing that was concerning (A-6w0d, B-5w6d, C-6w2d). The nurse did further prep me that I could still lose one or more of the babies, being that it is multiples the decrease in miscarriage after seeing heartbeats doesn't apply the same way. I told her I was well aware that this still could end in a lot of heartbreak.

She asked me if I had found a doctor yet and I said I hadn't, she suggested a couple up in Albany. I did find one an hour closer. I called their office today and had my files released to them, I figure I'll call in a couple of days. If they have the facilities to care for me and the babies there, then we'll go with them, but if they would just end up transferring me to Albany anyway then I might just go with Albany.

We're planning on telling family on Sunday. We'll have everyone together and figure we can get it all done in one shot....hopefully they all take it well. We'll see....FIL was already saying last night about how 4 kids is too many etc etc. We'll see.

We're not rushing out to buy things right now....car, cribs, car seats....in the even that something does happen. I don't really feel like committing to a new car, before we know that this is going to be for-real.

I really am going to miss my RE: I have one more appt with them next week and then bye-bye...for a few years. Although I will keep in touch with them because they still owe me some much needed money!

Anyways, here are some important dates:

Due date: Feb 3, 2012
Viability (24 weeks): October 14, 2011
32 Weeks: December 8, 2011 (Matt's birthday)
35 Weeks: December 30, 2011
36 Weeks: January 6, 2012

My goal is 35 weeks, if not 36/37....I'm really hoping these kids stick in there and COOK! I guess that means I won't be going crazy for Christmas stuff this year (no 12 hour baking sessions). I plan on having our Christmas cards done in October or November, so I don't have to worry about that.

Although I am in a bit of a quandary about Christmas stockings. My stocking is needlepoint that my mom did, I made Matt's and Ave's. It took me about 9-12 months to do those stockings and I don't honestly enjoy it (I do, but not a lot), plus their stockings are SO MUCH smaller than mine (almost 1/2 of mine). I'm thinking I might be making us all new stockings that are quilted, and have Matt's grandma use her embroidery machine on them for their names. We'll see....I have a lot of projects that I need to get done in the next few months while I still can!

It's amazing what a good cry can do :-)

Last night Matt and I went to bed and I asked him how he was doing, "Ok". I burst into tears....and sobbed out all of what I was feeling, all my guilt, all my worries, all my fears, all of it. He said "It will all be ok, God is in control". I cried a bit longer, we went to sleep, and I slept better than I have since finding out.

Sometimes we really do just need a good cry, because I've been ok ever since. I haven't had too many moments of panic or guilt or fear, I haven't grabbed anything back from God. I've left all of it in His hands....and hopefully will be able to continue to do so. It's a daily thing, sometimes minute by minute thing, to let go and let God.

So far, I'm ok, and actually doing pretty good with all of it.

I'm F.I.N.E.......

(Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional)

Now that I've had a bit of time to process this...I'm not going to lie to you, what's the point, but I am scared. Interestingly enough I'm not scared about the additional costs, the emotional costs, the stress, the how the heck do we raise 4 kids under 3, or any other thing that most people would be initially scared of. What I'm scared of is what most people who find out they're having triplets don't know about....the health cost.

That scares me. And even above (slightly) and beyond that, is the idea of being on bed rest in a hospital 4 hours away (round trip) for weeks on end, rarely seeing anyone, and particularly not seeing Matt and Ave very often. That brings me to tears, that makes me so, so, SO homesick (just rereading that idea makes me burst into tears again). That is what is rocking my world right now. I'm devastated at the thought that I could feasible not see my daughter for days on end and even then only for a few hours. No waking up in the middle of the night with her, no holding her when she falls and wants "mommy", no sitting with her reading.

This whole thing and how it's going to affect Ave has me worried. (Believe me I am trying to let go and let God on this one). Matt doesn't have time to be a stay at home dad, if I'm in the hospital Ave will, inevitable, be moving in with my IL's. I'm sure Matt will make the utmost effort for him to be with her as much as possible, particularly at night, but he get's up for the day at 4am. He can't leave her home alone and won't be able to take her to someone at 4am. We've talked about this briefly and he's already said he's going to try to keep her with him, as much as possible.

I don't know if it's normal to prioritize the child I already have over the children I may have. I feel terrible that I do, but right now Ave is my living, breathing child, I know I have her. I don't know what the future holds for these 3 little ones, who are still so small their hearts aren't even beating yet. Every time I woke up last night I felt guilt washing over me for being more concerned for Ave, than for these 3 little ones.

I don't know how to pray. In my ultrasound 2 of the sacs measured at almost 16, the 3rd one only measured around 10.5. It is very possible that the 3rd one won't catch up to the other 2. That this could be just a twin pregnancy, which I know would be so much easier. And then I feel guilty for even thinking that. I feel like I'm wishing/praying one of the lives of my children away. I'm telling ya' right now I am just a'riddled with guilt.

Then I think about what people will think (which I should't care what people think). When I'm at the fair this year, trying to work, and I'm only 15 weeks pregnant and look full term already. What will people who know about our IF think that we're pregnant with triplets.....irresponsible? I've already told Matt I don't want to broadcast the triplets thing, because of the reactions of most people; The "Oh my goodness" followed by nothing, which most of you had.

I know our doctor's office prides themselves on very few 3 or more pregnancies (I actually think they've only had a few triplets, and absolutely no quads or higher). I kind of got the vibe from my nurse that she was not too happy...with whom, I don't know. In our defense, I don't think anyone seriously thought the egg on my left side (the side with the huge cyst) would be a viable egg. I know I didn't. I knew there were 3 eggs, and that triplets could happen, but I don't think anyone seriously thought they would.

One thing I can say is that it's a good thing Matt and I like kids, that we planned on having a large family (just not all at once), that we own a grocery store, that we have lots of family and friends near by who will support us and help as much as they are able. Matt is trying not to stress about it until next weeks ultrasound, and we see heartbeats; Me, I'd rather be prepared for 3 and have it be 2, than the other way around. Either way, hopefully we'll have a much better idea of what's down the road for us next week (Tuesday at 10:30). In the mean time I'm going to keep trying to give this to God and not keep grabbing it away.

Ummm....it's triplets!

(Sent from Verizon Cell Phone)

Ummm....it's triplets! or at least there are 3 sacs...we'll see next week
:-)


~*~Update~*~
Ok, so we're home now. So, triplets. Yea, triplets. We're obviously excited to be pregnant, but definitely a bit freaked out at all that triplets bring with them: First and foremost the risks to their and my health, never mind the additional upfront expenses (new car any one?). We're both aware that if all 3 are viable we don't have an easy road ahead of us.

Being that I am only 5.5 weeks there were no heartbeats yet, next week we'll know more for sure. My nurse even warned me that sometimes the body will reject 1 or more of the sacs because there are more.

That said....We're still processing all this. I do know that 2 of the sacs were measuring at a 15, and one was only at a 10. As we have always said it's all in God's hands, and we are trusting Him through this. If we go back next week and we still have 3 little ones we know that it will be ok, and if it's not, it will still be ok.

Of course, we're anticipating everyone's response to triplets and having 4 under 3....it's a good thing we like kids and would like more than 2 or 3 :-)

Peace.....

Since we've had Avelyn there has always been a part of me that was stressed, uneasy, worried, that she would be an only child. I truly believe, that in some ways, going through IF treatment the second time around is harder, because it wasn't just about us anymore, it was about her.

I didn't realize how big of a weight this was on my shoulders, until G, our nurse, called last week to tell me I was officially pregnant. Hearing those words, realizing that Ave is going to be a big sister was just awesome!

Of course, it's now a week until my ultrasound, and being that I feel relatively ok, outside of heartburn and not really wanting to eat and being a bit tired [which could all be because of the extreme heat this week], I'm getting nervous again. What if we go in there, despite awesome betas, and there is no baby(ies)? I'm trying not to think about it, because I honestly don't think that will be the case, but of course I feel like I should be physically feeling a lot worse.

I'm not even sure what I should expect to see next week. When I was pregnant with Ave we didn't have an ultrasound until 6 weeks and her heart was already beating away...I'll only be 5 weeks and a few days. I guess we'll just have to wait patiently.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
On a side note that really had me laughing HARD:

The hugest crush I ever had in middle/high school keeps popping up on facebook as a suggested friend, but there has never been a profile picture. There was one today. OH MY GOODNESS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I know it's mean, but I have not stopped laughing. He's bald, paunch-bellied, dark rings around his eyes, he looks like a cross between Lurch and Uncle Fester from the Adams' family.

This guy was drop dead gorgeous in school: Tall, blond hair, blue eyes, football and basketball star. Just a dream.....wow! To think I would have done anything to get with him in whatever way possible. Thank you God for never letting that happen. I definitely have a much, MUCH better catch in Matt (he's at least still Hot, amongst other things ;-).

Beta #2 and other updates

Just got my call from the RE....my beta is up to 2401, which they liked. They wanted to schedule my ultrasound for this Friday, but I have no one to watch Ave....absolutely no one.

I was hoping to get in next Saturday (which would be 6 weeks) since it's the next day that Matt has off, but they don't do any u/s appointments on Saturdays. Which leaves me in a quandary.....there's no day then that Matt can go with me for our first u/s. I went from being "yay!" for a good Beta to now wanting to sit here and cry, because Matt can't go. I'm really, really upset....and I know that's silly, but I could hear in his voice that he was disappointed too.


ETA:
Matt is going with me....Tuesday at 1:30.

This just in....

The RE called and I am indeed PREGNANT!!!!

Greta, my nurse, said my number was 157 or 175 (I can't remember and will ask Matt)....for counting Ave was 64 at 16 DPIUI....I'd say that's pretty good.

I go on Tuesday for another beta, which they emailed me that. I do have one question, which I can call and ask, is that my beta on my web file says 472.....Think I need to know which number it is :-)

But....I'm pregnant! I'm figuring on a February 14th due date, based off of Ave being born exactly 9 months after our IUI.

I will post more later, but Little Girl wants to go run around outside.


~*~Update~*~
I just talked to my nurse at the RE, and confirmed that it is the 472 number. It could go either way as to multiples or a singleton....regardless: We're ecstatic!

I feel like I can breath with this pregnancy. Ave's number was on the lower side so I was nervous about it being ok. As we all know, things can still go wrong, but I feel better about it.

Hmm..... :-D

Could it be?

I think that line is getting progressively darker!

(I've had these sitting in my night stand draw since May, I figured I needed to finally take a dang picture and throw them out!)

“All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope” Alexandre Dumas Père

* My iPad2 came: Very cool!

* I've given up on the seeds I had started for the garden, we have had so much rain and no sun that the plants that I had all molded and rotted out. Not even a grow light was helping.

* There was a whole lot more I was thinking of posting, but I seriously can't think about what any of it was.....

* Oh, not to get anyone excited, because it may be nothing.....keep praying. Took an HPT this morning and it was only 1 line, then I went back a couple of hours later and there was a very, very, very faint line.....could be an evap line, could be leftover trigger (which I doubt....that was 10 days ago), could be an early BFP.

I'm not telling Matt, but I am keeping my prayers most fervent and everything crossed. Of course, I'll probably chicken out and not test until my beta results.