a Birth Story

My greatest piece of advice to anyone awaiting a baby’s birth is now: Don’t have ANY expectations. I’ve learned at least that over the course of 3 births.

Peter’s birth was about what I expected, and yet completely different from what I had envisioned. How often I’d troll through pinterest, checking out all of the homebirth and water birth photography, with beautiful glowing mothers welcoming their little ones into the world, supported by those they loved, and photographed beautifully through the course of labor.

None of those photographs happened for me, and yes, a part of me is a bit sad that I will never have those pictures of laboring and our little ones being born. I had mentioned how much I had wanted to just experience and enjoy this laboring and delivery, and I did, but it was all too short {I know, I’m weird to complain about that}.

The weekend I was 40 weeks {June 13th} we stayed home with the kids and did some belly finger painting. By Sunday night we figured we’d probably have another week of no baby and soldiered into the week. I wasn’t having any contractions or anything else that was hinting at labor.

Monday. Nothing.

Monday night I slept kind of crappy. I kept waking up every few hours and having to go pee, a bit of contractions when I was awake, but nothing to even mention.

Tuesday dawned per usual. I made the kids breakfast, we picked up a bit, and played outside. At that point my back was starting to hurt every so often, but again, nothing regular, nothing like contractions.

I posted this picture of Avelyn playing “mommy” around 9:15 on Instagram….

And Ellie took this picture of me at 10:00, the last of me pregnant….

My sister was planning on coming down in the afternoon, around 3:30, so that I could go and sign the kids up for swimming lessons at 5pm. My mom was on the route with my dad {doing what I used to do}, Matt was at my parents’ house receiving deliveries, and I was just continuing on.

By noon I called my midwife to tell her that I was having contractions, but nothing regular, nothing increasing, nothing intense. I was texting back and forth with my mom and Matt. By 2pm I had called my midwife and told her it was contractions, she cleared her calendar for the afternoon and got ready to come over and I told Matt to have his mom come down because the kids were driving me batty during contractions.

My mother in law was here around 2:30pm and we were working on filling the birth pool when Matthew showed up at 3pm. Oh boy! Was I glad to see him! My sister arrived around 3:15…we chit-chatted between contractions for a bit, but then I had to focus too much. It was all in my back and they came hard, fast, and boy did they hurt!

I’ve never had back labor before, but it was something I was kind of expecting given the anterior placenta. Let me just say, it wasn’t fun and nothing could’ve prepared me for it. My mom arrived just before 4pm, straight from the route, donned my pajama bottoms and Matt’s shirt and got to work.

As my contractions grew stronger and closer my mom and Matt had to push on my back and hips as hard as possible…it was the only way I could handle them. I had tried kneeling the way I had with Avie, leaning on my yoga ball, and standing…none of those positions were helping. The best I could do was lie in bed during the contractions and focus on them, rather than just being uncomfortable.

At 4:05pm I had another strong contraction and felt my water break {kept waiting all day for that to happen, to confirm I was in labor and tell people to come}. I got up to go to the bathroom, leaking, and by the time I was walking back out of the bathroom I felt like I needed to push. The midwife wasn’t here yet.

For the next 20 minutes I literally had my legs crossed, lifting my belly, trying to keep this little one from being born. The midwife raced up the stairs just before 4:30 and I got in position to push. A couple of pushes and we had a head, shoulders. The baby just kind of chilled and the next contraction our little boy was born at 4:35 pm!

It was intense! After he was born I felt like my legs were jelly and my back was finished. I was winded after all of that and felt like I had just run flat out for my life. He was born an hour after I started to have regular and intense contractions, 30 minutes after my water broke, and I think he would’ve been born earlier if I had let him.

Then I realized I never even had a chance to get in the pool!

For the first hour he lay on my chest and nursed a bit and we all kind of sat there in awe. In awe of him, in awe of how fast everything was, in awe of the fact that we did it! We had our baby at home! {and almost without a midwife…I was to the point that I couldn’t hold off anymore when she walked in the door. I was literally praying, Lord, let her get here NOW!}.

We then cut the cord…

got him weighed…

and still didn’t have a name. It was an incredible experience and one I would gladly do again.

Our first family picture. The kids were a bit crazy!

But, at least someone got to enjoy the pool…

Introducing…

So I’m a little late in posting, it’s been busy around here!

Peter Andrew

Born Tuesday, June 16, 2015 at 4:35pm

Weighing 9lbs 4 ounces and 21 3/4” long

We’re all absolutely smitten with him…especially the kids.

More details soon…If you follow me on Instagram you can see lots more pictures of our newest addition.

Why We Chose a Homebirth?

Lots of reasons and no particular reasons at all. We have not been very open about where this little one is being born, because frankly, we haven't wanted to hear people's opinions about it. It has only been in the past few weeks that I've even mentioned to certain people that we're having a homebirth.

People have a wide variety of opinions about homebirths, from: “you’re stupid, why would you risk your baby’s life like that” to “only ignorant people give birth in hospitals”. Obviously, I’m not either of those extremes.  Where do I fall? Smack dab in the middle, you do what you want, I’ll do what I want. This isn’t a decision that we’ve just decided to randomly make, it was with a lot of thought, care, consideration and research {do your research!}.

Avelyn’s birth was completely textbook, no surprises, no problems. The triplets' birth was pretty much the same, other than the obvious of there being three of them. Both times it went pretty fast. Fast enough the first time, that the second time our doctor insisted we get to the nearest hospital and be transported via ambulance {big waste of $2000 in my opinion}.

Before the triplets were born, my usual OB {and several of her colleagues} left the nearest hospital’s practice {the hospital was a 45 minute drive away}, the doctors that were there I did not like: The next closest hospital is an hour away.

I have to admit we really never sat down and made a list of pros and cons as to the why or whether of a homebirth. It was something we discussed, found a midwife to talk to, and kind of just went with it. Now before you think that we’ve entered this whole thing rather brashly, we haven’t.

Since Ave’s birth I’ve read articles online, books, personal experiences, medical journals etc about the risks and joys of a homebirth {find my pin board here}. We’ve taken into consideration my own labor and delivery experiences and our own comfort levels with not being in a hospital setting. It has been something that we have, in our own way, discussed and thought about at great length over the past few years.

Reason #1

I have very smooth, pretty quick labors.

I have never had a complication or issue during labor and delivery that resulted in any sort of emergency situation. That said, we do realize that anything can happen, things can go wrong. Which is why we have done our research with our midwife and feel comfortable in her abilities and care. Also, we literally live 1500’ from our local hospital, and while they don’t do deliveries, they are completely capable of handling life and death situations.

The other side is that given my speedy deliveries the chances are very good that we would barely make it to the hospital, and quite frankly I’d rather not be in the front seat of our van, pulled over on a back road in the middle of the night, pushing a baby out {most likely having mosquitoes feasting on my nether-regions}.

Reason #2

I don’t particularly like hospitals.

This might seem a ridiculous reason, but I don’t like hospitals…like REALLY don’t like them. Yes, I realize I’ve had 4 kids in a hospital without incident. I also know, from experience, how hard it is to get medical personnel who may have literally just met you to respect and adhere to your wishes. I have been extremely blessed with the medical personnel I have had to deal with, most have been highly considerate and understanding of our requests, but there have been enough of them that fought me and treated me like an idiot because of our desires for our children.

With our homebirth we don’t have to deal with any of that, not yet at least. There’s no pressure from a doctor or any one else to submit to anything that we’re not comfortable with, whether it be my care, laboring, delivery, post-partum, or our baby’s care.

Reason #3

I want to see if I can do this….again.

I know this may defy logical thought and reason for most people: That I would be willing to do something so potentially risky, just to have the experience {FYI bungee jumping is more dangerous than a homebirth}. Avelyn’s birth was over before it began. The triplets were an experience unto themselves. This time I want to be able to focus and enjoy the time of bringing this little one into the world, whether it takes 2 hours or 20 hours, without any distractions or undue concerns about getting to a hospital on time or anything else.

I know my body is strong…I know it is capable of incredible things. It took a triplet pregnancy to really KNOW that. I KNOW what my God is capable of. It’s for these reasons that I KNOW that a homebirth is an entirely reasonable and feasible desire for our birth. I want to experience this last experience to the fullest! No regrets.

~*~*~*~

Honestly, this will be the last child that I birth into this world, and I feel incredibly blessed that we get to add one more little life to our family, that I get to experience one last time what a normal singleton pregnancy and birth is like. However, being pregnant at almost 33 years old {next month} and 28 are two entirely different experiences…I don’t think I have it in me to do this again at 35 or 36, while chasing after 5 kids {it’s the chasing after other kids that makes it hard}. Then there’s also that whole lovely infertility factor which has pretty much rendered this our last, whether we were ready or not. Thankfully God has prepared our hearts for that.

36 Weeks

I had every intention of writing a 34 week and then a 35 week post, but they never happened. It’s been crazy around here between a week at the beach, getting things prepped and done around the house for the baby and just life in general. Of course I’ve had streams of words running around in my head constantly, but both the time and the energy to sit at a computer and put them out there has alluded me.

I am going to share some pictures though, because to me the craziest thing is that I’ve made it TWO WEEKS past the triplets gestation! I’ve made it home from vacation without an emergency hospital delivery 5 states away! Thank you LORD! Now, I can really settle in and enjoy the last few weeks of possible my last pregnancy.

I’ve mentioned before how I’ve stressed and been so anxious this pregnancy…that I’d go early or not make it home from vacation. I actually had a hysterical moment last Thursday, that my mom, my sister, and Matt were witness too. I started laughing about something and couldn’t stop, then the tears started and I was hysterical laughing and sobbing and just a complete wreck that they were all just looking at, because it was pretty funny. It felt so good to get that out, to just laugh and cry and feel the stress of the past 9+ months {going through treatment again was stressful too} just melt away.

34 weeks/35 weeks

And these are terrible horrible pictures; with the triplets it was the middle of the night, I was kind of freaked out that my water had broken, and I was so not ready for what lay ahead {thus the deer in the headlights glare}…the other picture I got one of the kids to take. This poor child certainly isn’t going to have the wonderful photos that the others had.

36 weeks

I’m definitely carrying this kid completely different than I did Ave. I’m very high up, with very little below…probably the reason why I’ve been able to get away with wearing my regular shorts and capris {I just wear them a bit lower}. If you are on Instagram, you did get to see me in my bathing suit at the beach. I was so thankful that the suit I bought 6 years ago, was still wearable {I was worried the elastic had dried out}.

With 4 weeks left we decided that we needed to get serious about projects and narrowing down names. Yesterday we narrowed down both lists, and then asked the kids their opinions…it was pretty funny, but at least we don’t have a huge list anymore.

As for me, I’m hanging in there. My hips are bothering me by the end of the day and during the night. I stole one of Ave’s pillows last night and had that between my knees and that helped immensely, I woke up this morning and was able to actually stand up straight when I got out of bed.

This being pregnant in warmer temperatures is definitely different. I don’t feel badly, but my hands and feet never like the heat to begin with, so I’ve had a bit of swelling in my feet, nothing out of the ordinary, just the usual it’s-hot-and-my-hands-and-feet-don’t-like-it.

We have another visit with my midwife this week, and then starts the wait and see. I’m so ready to meet this little one, but at the same time, so not ready to have another kid, especially a baby, or for this pregnancy to be over. I still want to get a video of my stomach moving.

The Fun Part

Since there are only a few weeks left what are your guesses on Gender and Birthdate? Leave’em in the comments!

34 Weeks

It’s official: This is the longest I’ve been pregnant since Avelyn! The triplets were born at 33 weeks 6 days, and throughout the whole of this pregnancy I’ve held 34 weeks as the goal to achieve. I’ve written several times about my anxiety this pregnancy, my worries about whether or not I’ll be able to make it to full term.

This other triplet mom, has done up a spot-on list of the differences and similarities between a triplet pregnancy followed by a singleton. It’s completely different….obviously. For me, feeling how I do right now, at 34 weeks and running around with 4 kids, I’m exhausted. I’m stretched and sore and completely in awe that my body is doing this once again. The biggest thing that runs through my mind is how on  did I do this with THREE babies in my tummy?! It’s crazy, what our bodies are capable of doing.

We had another appointment with my midwife a week earlier, at 33 weeks. Everything looked and sounded good. I was measuring around 34/35 weeks and she guesstimated that the baby weighs around 5lbs, which would be pretty much in line with the boys’ weights at birth. I figure we’re looking at at least a 9lb baby {Avie was 8lbs 5 ounces}. I always said if they boys had been singletons at full term, they would’ve been big boys.

I’ve still no guesses on gender. My initial thoughts, when we thought it might be twins, was that the one that was obvious was a boy, the other a girl. For quite some time now I’ve thought it’s a boy, but then I started sorting through all the baby clothes and I go back and forth about it.

Check out my post for 36 Weeks for pictures.

30 Weeks

I think I had planned on posting at 25 weeks, but I guess that didn’t happen. There wasn’t much different to report; I have been taking pictures when I remember and can manage to not being wearing grunge clothes. If you’re on instagram, some of them are on there. Thirty weeks…only 10 weeks {give or take} left. Hard to believe that we’re nearing the end so quickly. I know I’m not ready yet.

I go from being completely excited and looking forward to this, to freaking out and thinking that there is no way I am going to survive this newborn thing again, especially during the summer, when Matt is almost never home {except to sleep}, and especially with 4 other kids!

You moms who have several kids, all singletons, I honestly don’t know how you do the pregnant with littles thing over and over again. You are my heroes! My only other experience was pregnancy with an 18-24 month old and that was a cake-walk!

Here we are 30 week stats:
I’m back at my pre-pregnancy weight. My health has been crappy, as I can’t seem to kick the new cough, then cold, that I’ve developed. At least I don’t feel as drained as I did before which is a good thing, but I am over the coughing until my ribs hurt and I feel like baby is going to pop out. Everyone keeps assuring me that won’t happen, but I’m not so sure.

My midwife is happy with how things are going. Baby is growing right on track, is currently head down {and hopefully stays there}, and heart rate continues to be good. My blood pressure etc has been consistent and steady, no swelling or any other issues.

Of course, my mind is entirely another thing. Now that we hit 30 weeks, I keep telling myself only 4 more weeks until I feel “safe” in this pregnancy. I’m still concerned that my body is going to stop doing this whole being pregnant thing and decide to spontaneously go into labor before the middle of June, which would just not be cool…at all.

I’m so glad that I have the pictures to go back and look at. While I was pregnant with the triplets only 3 years ago, it was an entirely different experience, and Avelyn was 6 years ago…so I really don’t remember details. If you are pregnant…TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES and DOCUMENT! It’s such a special thing to have, not just for your little ones, but for yourself too.

You can find my posts from previous pregnancies at 30 weeks here:
30 weeks with triplets
30 weeks with Avelyn

A Few Words on What’s Been Going On

There’s this little detail about having things to share with you…it means I actually have to do things. For the past few weeks, I’ve been working on a baby quilt, but honestly I’ve just been exhausted. Fortunately, we figured out one of the reasons why I’m exhausted. Besides growing a person, I’m severely Vitamin D deficient. Normal is between 30-100, I’m a 17. Yea. Not good. I was trying to figure out how the heck I could be Vitamin D deficient, when I realized that for almost 2 years I haven’t been out of my house.

Now, before you think I’m some weirdo that never goes outside….We went from last winter, which was long and cold, to living in my in-laws basement, to moving back into our home {and working on projects INSIDE}, to this winter, which is long and cold. The last time I was outside with any regularity was the summer of 2013. Pathetic. Fortunately, my mom also has issues with her Vitamin D, so she gave me what I need to take.

Interestingly enough, one of the side effects of Vitamin D deficient, besides tiredness, is that your body pretty much needs it to do anything. Great! So the cold I wasn’t able to really kick for almost 2 months {a slightly scratchy throat lingered}, is now finally gone. I’m getting things done around the house: Trying to completely some of the bigger to-dos on our list, before baby arrives.

I did finish that baby quilt, the first one I’ve stitched in over a year, we’ve been working on our mudroom and master bathroom, and I’ve got the fabric lined up for another baby quilt. I feel productive. Now, mind you, I’m still rather tired, but I at least feel like starting projects…which is a good thing. I actually had the motivation to reorganize our pantry!

I have to say though…I love winter. I love snow. I love the cold….it’s the only time of the year that I can literally breath freely {heat and humidity do not agree with me} and I feel like there’s a good reason to be curled up with a book. After this whole Vitamin D thing, I’m honestly ready to have some sunshine on a regular basis!

Despite the “norm” of life for us, we also have several other projects in the works, that are taking up some of my brain power. I’m hoping I’ll be able to share more on them in the next month or so. Right now, we’re just trying to get through most days without the kids going completely batty, which I think may be a lost cause at this point.

How have you been managing this winter?
FYI: If you feel a lack of energy and like you’re unable to get/stay healthy, give your doctor a call about having your Vitamin D levels checked.

20 Weeks

As of last Saturday, this bun is officially “Half-Baked”! We had our anatomy scan yesterday and all looked good. Baby is right on track, weighing approximately 12 ounces and measuring 20 weeks 1 day {I was 20 weeks 2 days at the U/S}. They did confirm what I’d pretty much figured out myself, I do have an anterior placenta…which explains why I am feeling nowhere the amount of movement I should or have in the past. It’s a low lying placenta, so it will have to be watched. I’m sure I’ll end up having another U/S just before my due date to make sure there is no placental previa {pray that it stays out of the way: I do NOT want a c-section.}

We didn’t find out the gender, which was practically killing me during the whole thing. I behaved though and didn’t sneak any peaks or anything. Of course, that doesn’t prevent me from playing with online gender predictors, which we all know have a 50-50 chance of being right ;-) Both a Chinese one and one they base off of heart rate said boy…we’ll find out in 5 months!

Hard to believe that in just 5 months this little one will be here: It’s not that long.

For the 20 week stats:

I’m holding steady, weight-wise, right around 187lbs or so. No real cravings. No aversions. A little bit of heartburn when I eat spicy stuff. Things are starting to stretch and grow a bit, which at this point I was starting to wonder if it ever would. I figure in the next few weeks my tummy will start rounding out.

Finding a heartbeat and feeling movement are still a bit limited, but understandable with the anterior placenta. It’s getting a bit easier to find and feel over the past week or so.

I did get my maternity clothes back and realized that the nicest clothes I own are in fact maternity clothes {my mom was impressed, as she keeps threatening to burn most of my regular clothes}. I have a couple of nice tunic dresses, nice jeans and cords, skirts, and several cute tops! Most of my regular t-shirts are getting a bit short in the front now. I always love wearing my maternity clothes…they’re attractive and comfy and always flattering ;-)

I think that’s about all the news going on for now. I’m not planning on doing weekly posts, but I will definitely update again at 25, 30 and 35 weeks.

Avelyn at 20 Weeks and the Triplets at 20 Weeks
*Pardon my photographer, she’s a bit shorter than me and I had her stand on a chair.

16 Weeks

I’ve been slacking with this pregnancy: Keeping track of each week, belly pictures etc. I guess what’s true for most people’s 3rd child is true for my 5th. I just haven’t done it. I think about it, but I seem incapable of actually doing. This is going to be attempt at something {and encompassing the entire pregnancy in one post, thus far}.

Maternity Clothes: Umm…I don’t think I stopped wearing them after the triplets, except pants. I did  go back to regular jeans and dress slacks/skirts/dresses. I have yet to go out and buy new every day clothes, because they all get trashed. Between me {I’m not particularly gentle on my clothes} and kids, they’re all falling apart. I promised my mother after this one I will go buy some decent clothes {she’s threatened to abscond and destroy several items in my dresser}.

Weight Gain: I started this pregnancy at 194lbs, a whopping 10lbs less than I ended the triplets {yea, there was no magical weightloss from that pregnancy}. I have lost 10lbs from nausea etc, but for the most part I’m holding steady {of course I haven’t gotten on a scale since before Christmas}.

Stretch Marks: They’re my tiger claws, as Matt calls them. I’ve resigned myself to them and honestly, they really don’t bother me, but I haven’t had a bikini-body since I was 12.

Sleep: Well, the kids aren’t entirely to blame for my getting up. I’ve been having INSANE dreams, which wake me up and freak me out! I do find that if I lay too long on one side or the other my stomach muscles hurt. Also, I drink a TON of water during the night…a ton.

Movement: I’ve been very thankful for my doppler this pregnancy. I remember feeling a lot more movement with the triplets, which was a given, but I can’t remember from Avie’s how much I felt {it was almost 6 years ago}. I keep thinking I should be feeling more or stronger, but I don’t. The doppler at least keeps me from freaking out that something is wrong {usually right around 150-155}.

Symptoms: I seem to be past a lot of the exhaustion and nausea/food aversions: They were pretty nasty for a while. Fortunately I only threw up once and it was from being in the car way too many hours in one day. I noticed a lot of the time how I felt was linked to how tired I was. I could pretty much set a clock by when the nausea started, 3pm…right when I started to lag for the day. There were quite a few days that I climbed in bed with Avie for nap time.

Anxiety. I’ve been having a lot of anxiety this pregnancy. Second guessing and question and wondering if everything is all right with the baby. I honestly think I’ve been having more than I ever did with any other pregnancy. I believe that’s partly because this is the last hurrah; there will be no other pregnancies after this one {gotta love infertility} and if something happens there is no other opportunity to try again.

Food Cravings: I honestly don’t know. This is such a tough time of year: There’s no more fresh produce from the garden, there’s tons of holiday food around, it’s been tough figuring out what’s a real craving and what’s knowing that it’s food that’s seasonal. I will say that I think it’s been more salty foods, with the occasional veggie craving. In the beginning it was sweets {cookie dough}, but lately the things that I used to love to have almost every night {microwave desserts} are completely unappealing…there are times when a cookie and milk is awesome!

We go back to the midwife in a few weeks, and then we’ll have our big anatomy scan. Hard to believe I’m almost halfway there….I’m not ready for being pregnant to end. I am one of those women who THOROUGHLY ENJOYS being pregnant.

News from the White House

December is a crazy time in our house, I know it is for everyone, but throw in a plethora of birthdays and it adds to the bedlam. Last weekend we celebrated my grandfather’s 95th birthday {12/6} and Monday was Matt’s 32nd birthday {12/8}. Avelyn decided to add to the excitement by allowing us to yank her first loose tooth during Matthew’s birthday festivities!

Then during the week we got some really crappy weather that put a damper {literally} on any fun time outside, but resulted in snow days for friends, so we had an impromptu play date…which was wonderful, especially since we hadn’t seen these friends in months {I’m not kidding}. Another evening I spent 2.5 hours on the phone with an old friend, sharing memories and her exciting news.

Throughout it all I was trying to get Christmas cards finished and mailed, bake cookies {some have been dough in my fridge for 2 or 3 days and are still in there}, and keep the house functioning {what is it with laundry and cooking?! They never end!}. It’s been crazy! I’ve had every intention of getting a few posts up, but it just didn’t happen.

But there was one thing in particular that we wanted to share with you.

That’s right! Come the middle of June there’s going to be another White kid to terrorize the world {I’m 14 weeks today}. The kids are a lot more excited than they appear to be in this picture. We do know that we are adding only ONE new kiddo to the family {there was a bit of a question in the beginning}, but we’re leaving gender to be a surprise this time {since we already have ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING we could possibly need and with #5 there needs to be some element of anticipation}.

I think that brings all of the big news up to date in the White House!