Showing posts with label Random Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random Thoughts. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 21

Happy Birthday to Me!

Do you have a song? A song, that to you, or other’s is just YOU? I do.

A long time ago, I found a group called Gaelic Storm {they were the band that played in the movie Titanic, the whole below deck scene with Rose dancing and doing her ballet moves} and loved them ever since.

I quickly discovered a song of their’s that I loved…that was just…ME!
Pina Colada in a Pint Glass!

So why do I love this song? Why is it me?

It’s just a simple girl looking for the simple pleasures in life, while working hard to pay for her dream. It’s my absolute favoritest song, because it is fun! It’s Irish, it’s a pina colada, it’s a pint glass, it’s a beach, and I love it! There’s no pretention, no high-falutin’ ideas. It’s just fun…good old fashioned, girl next door, fun.

Pina Colada

Why am I sharing this, today? Because it’s my birthday, and quite frankly the idea of a pina colada in a pint glass sitting on milk white sand and looking at gin-clear water sounds like absolute perfection!

What’s your song?

Monday, February 23

A Few Words on What’s Been Going On

There’s this little detail about having things to share with you…it means I actually have to do things. For the past few weeks, I’ve been working on a baby quilt, but honestly I’ve just been exhausted. Fortunately, we figured out one of the reasons why I’m exhausted. Besides growing a person, I’m severely Vitamin D deficient. Normal is between 30-100, I’m a 17. Yea. Not good. I was trying to figure out how the heck I could be Vitamin D deficient, when I realized that for almost 2 years I haven’t been out of my house.IMG_7680

Now, before you think I’m some weirdo that never goes outside….We went from last winter, which was long and cold, to living in my in-laws basement, to moving back into our home {and working on projects INSIDE}, to this winter, which is long and cold. The last time I was outside with any regularity was the summer of 2013. Pathetic. Fortunately, my mom also has issues with her Vitamin D, so she gave me what I need to take.

Interestingly enough, one of the side effects of Vitamin D deficient, besides tiredness, is that your body pretty much needs it to do anything. Great! So the cold I wasn’t able to really kick for almost 2 months {a slightly scratchy throat lingered}, is now finally gone. I’m getting things done around the house: Trying to completely some of the bigger to-dos on our list, before baby arrives.

I did finish that baby quilt, the first one I’ve stitched in over a year, we’ve been working on our mudroom and master bathroom, and I’ve got the fabric lined up for another baby quilt. I feel productive. Now, mind you, I’m still rather tired, but I at least feel like starting projects…which is a good thing. I actually had the motivation to reorganize our pantry!

I have to say though…I love winter. I love snow. I love the cold….it’s the only time of the year that I can literally breath freely {heat and humidity do not agree with me} and I feel like there’s a good reason to be curled up with a book. After this whole Vitamin D thing, I’m honestly ready to have some sunshine on a regular basis!

Despite the “norm” of life for us, we also have several other projects in the works, that are taking up some of my brain power. I’m hoping I’ll be able to share more on them in the next month or so. Right now, we’re just trying to get through most days without the kids going completely batty, which I think may be a lost cause at this point.

How have you been managing this winter?
FYI: If you feel a lack of energy and like you’re unable to get/stay healthy, give your doctor a call about having your Vitamin D levels checked.

Monday, January 5

State of the Blog—2015

Have you read this post yet, by Tsh Oxenreider of The Art of Simple….go read it, it’s awesome, but stay here and read this first. Blogging is changing. Has been changing for quite some time. I noticed it myself, especially this past year. People don’t read blogs anymore and if they do, they’re reading from a phone or tablet, that doesn’t make commenting all that easy. Then there is the whole thing with Instagram and micro-blogging: Why spend hours looking at blogs when you can just take a gander at a convenient feed to find out what people are up to?! I get it. I’m guilty of this myself. State of the Blog

See, something happened in Blog-World: It became very commercial. There was a lot less of life and stories and a lot more of how-tos, do this, and don’t do that, from people who didn’t give you a glimpse into what their reality was, because it became a business. I got enough guilt in my life without seeing everything I should be doing or not doing, without knowing just what someone else is not doing to tell me what I need to do {Phew! Got all that?!}

All of this is because of the endless list of things that bloggers get “told” that they have to do…I’m not even sure by whom. Last year I kissed social media goodbye for several months, this year I’ve had enough of it again. Facebook is a losing battle, there is no way to win at it, because I don’t have the time to dedicate to keeping a page updated AND keep on top of the games that they play. I still love Pinterest and Instagram, and that’s what I want to do this year….WHAT I LOVE. You can see there’s already been some changes around the blog this past weekend: There’s no more links for the social media I don’t like to use.

All this to say that I need to simplify my own life. I love blogging. I love sharing pictures and ideas and words with you, but honestly I don’t even know who you are anymore; there’s certainly not much traffic coming here every day or comments. And I think I’m ok with that…I’m going to HAVE to be ok with that, because nothing I’ve tried over the past year to grow my blog has helped :-)

Going forward…

I may or may not be changing my domain url this year. At the end of 2014 I made it a point to get my URL out of google’s control {still using blogger though}, and at the same time I purchased {I purchased both through}. I’d love to move to wordpress and self host my blog, but I do not have the extra money to do that.

I may or may not be blogging on a regular schedule. For the past few years I’ve tried to do a rotating schedule of MWF/TTh, but that just hasn’t happened lately. I’m not going to be choking up your email inboxes with posts, but I am going to try and be a bit more regular {I’m shooting for 2 posts a week}.

Now I have some questions for you, and I really want you to take them to heart and share with me. I started a blog because of infertility, obviously I don’t come across as a legit infertile anymore {something about having 4 kids}, but I’ve refrained from blogging more about parenting for several reasons. One being that the few readers I do have were/are infertile and I don’t want to alienate them, two being that I feel nowhere near qualified to write anything about having kids. So I’ve avoided it, other than updates on the kids {which I do for myself}.

I have several book ideas rambling around in my head, from a parenting book {yea, I know what I just said} to a freebie Christmas cookie recipe book to some fiction to I don’t know what. I highly doubt I’ll get any of those written this year, but maybe I can start with some series posts.

Here are the questions:

*Do you like giveaways? What kind of giveaways?
{I have a ton of ebooks that I have in a stash to give away}.

*What things would you like me to blog about?
{Any topics in particular, questions you have, post topics you’ve enjoyed over the years, product reviews from our kitchen renovations, source posts etc…anything?}

*Would you be interested in a private Facebook group over a Facebook page?
{I’d love to build a community with you, but I know that blogs are limited…especially in regards to creating a conversation}.

*What is your preferred social media form?
{Do you prefer things to be in your inbox or through instagram, pinterest etc? Can I follow you?}

*What can I do to better serve and bless you?
{I don’t want this to be a place you stop in occasionally, I truly want us to be friends. I want to meet you where you are, with what you need.}

If you want, email me: 

I hope to hear from you soon!

Monday, October 6

My Favorite Apps

I love Apple. I may have a problem. I’m not sure I care to admit it. We bought our first iPad in May 2011 {as a “necessity” for the potential bedrest with triplets} and I loved it, but then Avelyn was using it for things and the kid apps kind of took over. Then I had this moment in which I really wanted a small camera to take around rather than my honkin’ huge Nikon D90, so I sold my old fashioned iPod Nano and put the money toward a 5th Gen iPod Touch. That was the beginning of the end.

About a year after my iPod, I was a bit tired of carrying around my old crap-tastic flip phone AND the iPod. I sold my iPod and upgraded to the iPhone 5C, and there’s been no looking back since. The whole push for me with iDevices was pictures. I love pictures. I’m visual. I love sharing and seeing pictures. So it stands to reason that my favorite apps have a lot to do with pictures {some of them, not all of them}.

Here we go:

1. Instagram – This one is pretty self explanatory. As I’ve said, I love pictures. There’s just something about being able to micro-blog {which I’ve managed to do better than regular blogging the past few months}, with a few clicks of a camera. AND I get all that eye candy delivered straight to my newsfeed.

2. Wunderlist – This is an My Favorite Apps for My iPhone @LifeintheWhiteHouse.comawesome app. It also has a web-based counterpart that lets me edit and update list from my computer. I use this for tons of things: Christmas and gift ideas, a running list of what I need from what stores, and the best part is…once you check something off it puts it out of sight, but when you need to re-add it to your list, BOOM! it’s there {perfect for grocery shopping}.

3. LookOut – This is a security app. It’s free, it does have a paid counterpart, but the free is awesome. On more than one occasion I’ve had to SCREAM my phone to find it in the house, when I’ve muted the ringer. It allows you to locate your phone, lock it out, delete it, and several other things.

4. Fraction Plus – This is a nerd app. I use it for my quilting. I’m not good at math, never pretended to be, but this app takes the guess work out of figuring fractions {which seem to be an unavoidable part of quilting…and baking…lots of baking too.}

5. Waterlogue – This is just a fun app. It does cost $2.99, but it saves me a lot of money and aggravation. I love watercolors, but I’m not that good at PAINTING watercolors. I used to have a program on my old, old computer that did a beautiful job of converting images to watercolors, but the program was outdated and wouldn’t function on our new computer. I couldn’t find a replacement that didn’t cost more than $100+ or didn’t take 50 steps in photoshop to replicate. This one, I just get it on my phone and BAMM! it’s water-colorized! Just like that leaf up there in my header ;-)

What are some of your favorite apps?

Monday, March 17

Luck o’ the Irish

I’ve begun this post about 5 times and never get any closer to actually having something that I click publish on. It’s just been like that lately.

Today is St. Patrick’s Day, and other than the Soda Bread in the oven, you wouldn’t know it it in this house.  There isn't a stitch of green in sight on any of us. Yea, I know….shame on us lol I’m Irish, I certainly don’t need to prove that to any of the 5 other people who saw me today.

Things have been…well not hard, but I guess hard is how you would describe it. It certainly hasn’t been sunshine and rainbows.

For the past week, we’ve been inundated with negative. It’s as though Satan is working overtime on getting us to stumble!

Last Friday was hell.

Matt came home before heading out for the day, to tell me that his grandparents’ house had burned down, to the ground, nothing left standing. Fortunately no one was living there and no one was hurt. But the house was still filled with countless family heirlooms and pieces of furniture that no one had taken out yet.

Grams house.

Then Matt met with the local code enforcer to go over our building plans and submit our application; only to be told that he’s just not too sure that he feels comfortable with granting us a building permit without having certified, official and professional blue prints {to the tune of an additional $8000}.

He keeps having Matt do more and more to prove the safeness of the structure, then when he’s asked to make a decision, he says he has to think about it, again. This has been going on for 3 weeks now. We’re supposed to break ground in a little less than a month, and we still don’t have a permit. Just a bit frustrating.

In the evening I had a Mary & Martha Gathering…which was a good break for me, because I was just blah and wanted to sit somewhere and cry, but couldn’t get the tears out. The Gathering was fun, some high school friends. On the way home I was just thinking on all the good and praising God for his provisions, when a deer ran into the drivers’ side of my van. YES!

At that point, when I got home, Matt woke up {it was around 10:30pm} and the two of us just discussed all that had happened {because we hadn’t talked all day}, and by the end of it we were both laughing, because it was all just utterly and absolutely ridiculous that it was such a bad day.

The weekend was good though. We had a lot of down time to recover from Friday’s emotional exhaustion. I worked on the girls’ Easter dresses. Matt got some more stuff done with the house plans {and possibly found someone to draw up plans}. Life soldiers on.

And now…we’re onto St. Patrick’s Dinner #3. Yum! And here’s a little taste of Ireland for you…my favorite place…Kylemore Abbey.


Monday, September 2


Now if only the temperatures would drop, and the humidity disappear...I would be feeling a bit more Fall-ish. The other day I bought some mums for the front flower beds, which I haven't touched all year. It's my incentive to actually get them weeded and wintered.

The leaves have been gently falling from the trees for the past few weeks, not a lot of them, but enough that you know it's coming soon. The apples have been falling like C-R-A-Z-Y from the trees! We've just been taking care of the apples that have dropped from the tree that are still good and have canned a dozen quarts of applesauce.

It's been a bit frustrating around here, as I'm feeling behind the 8-Ball. There is still so much to get caught up on from the summer and the fair, as well as all those things that need to be done in preparation for Fall and Winter.

*There's the homeschool curriculum and projects for Avelyn that need to get pulled together.
*The apples that still need to be picked from the trees, and canned.
*Our lawnmower isn't working and needs to get fixed so we can mow the hay-field we've got going on.
*The gardens are going crazy, meaning lots of tomatoes need to be canned for the winter as soon as they start red-ing up, as well as all the other produce
*Matt's been butchering a steer for us for the winter, and we still have a 100 chickens that need to be butchered in a couple of weeks.

Throw in all the normal stuff with a home and kids and I'm a bit overwhelmed, to say the least. I quite seriously am not sleeping anymore. If I fall asleep before 2am, I consider it a good night: If I'm not physically doing something, my mind is just not shutting down. Now if I only I could figure out how to operate without any sleep HA!

I am working on my FIRST newsletter for sometime this month, sharing some of my yummy apple recipes. We've had a huge crop this year, so we've been getting creative with what we can do with them. Be sure to sign up if you're interested in getting those recipes!

Happy September!

Monday, July 1

Lazy, Hazy Days of Summer Time

 It’s been kind of quiet around here on the blog, and I’m not really sure why. DSC_0001edit WMI debated taking a blog break, but that kind of formality doesn’t work for me, since I then feel like I can’t click Publish, because I’m “on a break”. There have been a lot of little things swirling around causing me to not post. Some of them more profound than others, some just obvious things, like Life.

Last week we started swimming lessons and will have that through July. This coming weekend is the Car Show, which marks the beginning of not-a-weekend-free. Every weekend from now until the end of August, something is going on or we’re getting ready for the fair.

So what have I been up to that has kept me from being around here as much? I’ve been reading {a lot!}, working on a few quilts, and just haven’t felt motivated to come on here and clack-away on the keyboard. I do have to admit that none of the “away” time has been spent in cleaning or keeping up with housework or taking vacations. Mostly it’s been just “being”.

Since I have been a bit quiet around here…thinking about my blog, living life, and what not….would you be willing to take a short survey and tell me what things you like, don’t like, would like to see around these parts? 

If you fill out the survey you'll also be entered into a giveaway of the ebook, Simply Summer by Modern Alternative Mama ($5.00 value). This book was part of the Ultimate Homemaking eBook Bundle and is choc-full of fun summer recipes!

Tuesday, April 30

Hi, my name is Jessica…..Nice to meet you.

It’s been crazy around here….and I’m not even sure why. I know I had a few guest posts that went up last week, but they only happened, because they were written weeks ago. If you missed them, here they are: Meal Planning at the and Infertility Changed Me at .

This week isn’t shaping up to be much better. I feel like I go-go-go all day long, night comes and I look around and it seems like NOTHING was accomplished. Sunday, the kids stayed a few hours at my in-laws, which was great, for Matt. He managed to get a lot of outside work done: Apple trees trimmed, seeds planted in the garden, things done with the bees, and some other stuff. I’m not even sure what I accomplished, because there seemed to be just as much stuff before as after.

I have decided one thing though; the reason for my having to have projects, whether quilting or DIY, is because I need to have SOMETHING that has an absolute start and finish, otherwise I would go out of my mind. Laundry never gets “finished”, dishes never get “finished”, cleaning the house never gets “finished”: It’s entirely never ending. Sewing projects and other things at least give me a sense of accomplishment, once they’re done.

On top of the household to-dos, this weekend is Matt’s sister’s wedding, which means I’ve been doing whatever wedding stuff I can to help her out. Throw in a bit of kids not sleeping at night or during the day, and mommy is not having much time to blog, which stinks, because I so miss being here!

A brief run down of other things that I haven’t blogged about:

*Ellie is officially walking
*I started a Moms’ Night Out group, and we had our first get-together
*Went to (in)RL
*Started a project for the back yard
*Been busy planting veggies
*Finished a couple of books
*Got a haircut and color {realized how easy it is to straighten my hair with a curling iron}
*Bought some new fabric
*Finished a few more of my quilt blocks
*Have 50 chicks that we’re raising for meat, with another 50 coming today, and  more in the future {we’re doing 300 total}

I’m hoping that things slow down, at least a little bit, because we haven’t even gotten to the summer yet and I’m ready for Fall.

  April CollageIf you’re missing me here, I am pretty active on instagram if you want to follow me there :-) or on Facebook

Don’t forget about the Ultimate Homemaking eBook Bundle sale going on right now!

Sunday, December 18

This ones for you!

I seem to be posting less and less, it's near impossible to type on a laptop or iPad while lying on your side; actually, besides watching TV there is not much that can be done while lying on your side. I have been writing some things down (posts and what not) in a notebook, with a pencil since it doesn't stop writing when upside down, I'm hoping soon to have some of those things scheduled for posting.

SO, I'm opening this up to you guys: What things would you like to know about me? Is there something you've been wanting to ask, but haven't? Is there something you're curious about, whether it's an opinion, a how to or whatever? Ask away my friends, nothing will be withheld.

Thursday, November 17

The truth about Fine and being "icky"

The other day Lisa-Jo at posted about the false "Fine" that we all very often give as a blanket comment when asked how we're doing. Then today she posted about being covered in ick. Truth be known......I think she's been reading my mind.

I know I constantly give people the "I'm doing good" or "I'm fine" comment, because, honestly, most people really don't want to hear other people complain and only ask out of some sort of societal expectation of what is "proper". That, and I'm not a complainer...I hate complaining and being a "baby" about things.

Most days I am good. Things go along and we manage to have good days, days in which I feel good, Avelyn is good, we're productive and get things accomplished. Then I have days, when I'm not good, or even fine. Days when I feel like nothing is going right, that there is this constant "ick" around me, and it's just not a good day.

Days like yesterday. When my stomach and back just hurt, when I didn't feel or want to eat anything, when I got nothing done and any time I tried, I just walked on past it and went back to doing nothing, when Ave, quite seriously, watched "Cail.lou" for 4.5 hours because I had nothing in me to give (maybe the Cai.llou overload was what made me feel icky:-P)

I went to bed in prayer and woke in prayer this morning, that I would feel like me, that it wouldn't be another "icky" day, that Ave and I would have some good play time, that I would get some things accomplished {even if it's only folding laundry and starting the boys' quilts}.

Why the "ick" feeling?

I think Monday and Tuesdays doctor appointments and outings took it's toll on me. I think it was more the going to Albany and sitting in the car and walking around (and we only went to the doctor and then to grab something to eat).

I think it's worrying about these babies. Yes, I'm 28 weeks, but no way am I ready for them to be born. Fortunately, I feel great most days (seriously I have very few bad days), but the days I do I worry. I worry about not making it to the hospital if I'm in labor, I worry about them having issues, I worry about NICU time (we live TWO HOURS away from the NICU), I worry about what it's going to be like when they come home, I worry about how Avelyn is going to handle all of these crying, demanding babies.

I think it's the fact that our businesses are REALLY struggling. We're not even sure how much longer we're going to be able to keep the store open. Our staff is dwindling and there is not enough business coming in. Everyone is already spread really thin and with the babies coming, will be even thinner.

I know that none of these things are in my, or anyone else's, hands, but the days when I feel "icky" both physically and mentally, it's hard. It's hard to just let it go to God. It's hard to just sit back and know that whatever it is, it is, because there's not much I can do about it. Most days I do a really good job of not worrying, of knowing that God is in control.

It's hard to watch my dad, mom and Matt, struggling with how to grow a business, all of them knowing that we rely on the success of these two businesses for our livelihood (fortunately, none of us are financially dependent on the store, it's never made enough money for us to have any income from it).

Fortunately, today is not one of those "icky" days. Today I feel physically good (although, don't ask me to bend over and pick something up lol), I mentally feel good, I feel like myself. I got things accomplished. Ave is taking a good nap (which I knew she needed). My belly-brace came; I feel like I can walk around and be productive.

Yea, I very often just gloss over the difficulties of this pregnancy on here, yes, there are difficulties (you should see me try to roll over in bed), but most of the time they're not bad at all. I just remind myself that as hard as this is sometimes, it will be a lot harder once these kids are here...whether driving to the NICU in Albany or juggling 3 newborns and a 2 year old. God will provide though.

Whether the store ends up closing or whatever happens with the businesses God will provide.

I'm just beyond thankful that the "icky" and "I'm fine" days are few and far between.

Thursday, November 3

Something in the water...

I think there is seriously something in the water around here: Almost every single woman I know is pregnant! The only exceptions are SIL, my sister, and 1 friend. I found out last week that our neighbor to the right is 20 weeks pregnant with their second, and we found out last week that our friends R & R are expecting their first the end of June (we're the first to know). There are 9 babies due in the next 8 months, not counting our own 3! Sheesh!

Fortunately I'm only hoping to make quilts for 4 of those babies plus our 3: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a pretty good joke right?! I'm really hoping with all of the help that people are offering us once these babies show up I won't have to do too much ;-) and will have time to quilt and sew (think that will happen?).

Thursday, September 15

Some things old, some thing new...

*Matt's going to talk to the old man next time he sees him around, then if that doesn't accomplish anything we'll go to the police. We do live in a small town, so I'm not really sure how much good the police will do, but we'll try.

The funny part of the whole thing is that he seriously thinks that I don't SEE him with his binoculars.

*My dad talked to his doctor (she's specializes in homeopathy/nutritional imbalances and a bunch of other things - She's the one who has gotten his A-fib under control without prescription meds) about my anxiety. Her opinion is that my mineral stores are extremely low, that the babies have depleted all of my reserves and anything I am consuming is immediately going to them, which is resulting in how I'm feeling.

Which actually makes a lot of sense to me. Also, for my dad, he knows that sugar can spike his anxiety attacks. So for now, I'm to go crazy eating vegetables and seriously limit my sugar intake (which includes carbs etc). We'll see if this helps. I'm thinking it will, because I'm sure that I'm not getting enough veggies, in spite of salads and leafy green consumption.

I'm also going to the chiropractor today, which should help a bit.

*We picked up our car on Monday night!

*We had our first bona fide crazy person in the store today, complete with pointing and rude questions. My sister was carrying A around the store, when I noticed this lady at the opposite end of an aisle looking at me, then motioning for her friend.

She comes running toward me and says "Are you Jessica? Are you the one having triplets?" "Yes" "Oh my gosh, she's the one (to the friend)! I was up this morning thinking of you at 4am, wondering how you're going to do this!" "Oh" "I want to come over and hold one of your babies! I can help change diapers and feed them and scrub floors!"

In the meantime my sister is now there, wondering if she needs to show this woman the door, because she was that BSC. Finally she tells me "Oh, I'm so-and-so's sister, from your church. Not that you think I'm some random crazy person." Oh ok, so that makes it all better now.

She has never been in the store before, neither has the friend she was with, and spent $2.83 on a bag of candy. My mom, sister, and I were all pretty annoyed. My mom really doesn't have any idea of the potential for sanity, but that kind of freaked her out: That someone actually made a point to come into our store, looking for me, specifically to ask questions. Yea, that fence with the lock is going up real soon in our yard.

Wednesday, September 14

I always feel like Somebody's watching me And I have no privacy...

It seems I have my own, personal, IRL stalker: Lucky me!

Across the street lives an older couple (probably in their early 70s). We've never really had much to do with them, but the old man is friendly enough (he helped me un-shovel the car when it got stuck the first winter we lived here). I've never had anything to do with his wife....she never even says "hello" or waves.

Last summer I started noticing that he was doing something strange. If I was out front or in our driveway, I noticed that he would suddenly hide something in his lap when I would glance over there (if he was sitting on his porch). Then I realized he had binoculars, and he was watching me. OK; creepy, but not a huge deal. It continued through the winter and this summer. I always make a point of waving to him so that he KNOWS that I see him.

Then this spring, I noticed that there were plants crushed beneath our bathroom window. I asked Matt if he had been over that way and he said "no". We figure it was probably the old man: Again, WEIRD! I've even seen him watching our house through his binoculars, I'm sure looking in windows.

Next to our driveway is a cow path that leads along our property to a field below our house (the community garden) and the river, the old man has a garden down there too, as he owns part of the property. The we started noticing 4-wheeler tracks (his mode of transportation) in our yard (I haven't mowed our yard recently so I knew it wasn't from us).

It's just getting to be a bit too weird, a bit too uncomfortable, and a bit too creepy. He only watches me....he doesn't watch Matt. Matt said he would go stand in our front yard next time with our big wooden baseball bat for the old man to see (I don't think that will do anything).

Matt is even more determined to get the fence done this fall, since it seems like he's coming on our property now and riding around looking at things, or me. But what do you do? I mean honestly: do we confront him about it, report it to the police?

Monday, September 12


Anyone here ever suffer from anxiety issues? No, I didn't think so ;-) For at least the past 10 years, and probably before, I remember having issues with anxiety. At first I didn't realize that my shortness of breath, feeling strangled and racing pulse were the result of anxiety. I don't know what I thought they were besides annoying.

Over the years I seem to go through bouts of dealing with this: Suddenly for a few days or week it seems like I can't catch my breath, that I'm being pulled under. Sometimes I was able to identify what it was that was bothering me, other times I had no clue.

As you've probably guessed, since I'm writing this post, I'm dealing with it right now. For at least the past 4 days I've been having the constricted chest/can't breath/heart pounding feeling on and off, but mostly on. Not good.

I don't know what I could be feeling anxious about *note sarcasm*: I mean, having triplets, and then 4 kids 2 and under, and a c-section all looming in my future isn't a reason to feel anxious. Of course I know it's not good for me to be feeling this way, but I pretty much refuse to go on meds for it, particularly while pregnant. I don't feel that it's that much of an issue, it's more of an irritating nuisance.

Of course, then I wonder if it's all in my head and it's really just the babies growing and that is causing my shortness of breath (which I'm sure, in part, it is). I'm not quite where I was at full term with Ave, but I'm definitely getting there. Baby C is quite comfortably wedging himself up and under my ribs.

Back to the's not fun. Other than praying/talking about what has me stressed, I'm not sure what to do about it. I continue repeating to myself:
"Cast all your anxieties on Him, for he cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Phillipians 4:6

Tuesday, July 5

Now for the total randomness :-)

*We know we're going to need a new car and plan on trading in our Honda CRV (KBB estimates $15k on trade for it). But we're in a bit of a quandary as to what to get: I've wanted a Toyota Sienna for a while, but FIL made a comment about going with the Chrysler T&C. I read some stuff online and the T&C is the preferred vehicle because of the stow n go seating (which I like and Toyota doesn't have), as well as the power doors and hatch.

We're going to be going soon to start looking at cars: That way once we actually are going to buy it (probably November some time), if I can't go, Matt at least knows what we want. My big things (which I hadn't even thought about until I started doing some research) are the easy seat changes, lots of trunk space, roof rack, auto-start (so I don't have to be taking babies outside in the cold; or leaving 4 little ones alone while I run out), automatic doors and hatch, and it must have ipod hookup and be beige or silver (hides the dirt better).

Now, let's see if we can find that for only a few thousand dollars more than our trade (we still owe Matt's grandfather $7k on the Honda, and want to pay cash for the van, so we don't have any additional debt) :-D

*It's getting really hard to keep the triplet-factor a secret.

*We're going to be having a friend of ours come in once a week to help clean around the house. I take a nap every day while Ave is sleeping and I try to keep up on laundry, dishes, etc, but the overall house is neglected. I honestly can't remember the last time I swept and mopped/vacuumed the house, and the only reason why the toilets have been scrubbed, is because we had people over a few weeks ago. It's rather sad really lol

Anyways, here is some totally cute randomness courtesy of Miss A

Tuesday, April 12

Identity: the sense of self, providing sameness and continuity in personality over time

I'm struggling a bit with my identity, my online identity that is. I'm not sure where I fit in amongst the VAST variety of blogs I read: Everything from infertility to crafting to faith to homemaking to adoption. I don't know how to mesh myself with all of those things....particularly since I don't want to minimize our infertility.

I find this to be a bigger issue when commenting on blogs: I'm sure some people come to my blog and think "WOAH! How did I get here?" And honestly our, direct, dealings with our IF are few and far between (although it will be coming up in a few weeks when we begin cycling again).

I have ramped up things on our family blog a bit more, but it's our family blog....there isn't a whole lot on there about my thoughts and processing things. I wish there was an easy way to meld this blog and my family blog into a more perfect union of ME-ism.

Honestly, keeping up two separate blogs is hard enough (IF and family), the idea of adding a 3rd one in there is a bit I'd be starting all over, kind of, as far as followers and such is concerned.

I would love to just have this be my main blog, but there is so much on here about IF and I do have a few friends, in addition to family, who read our family blog regularly, who we don't feel comfortable sharing our whole IF story with. But, I feel like our family blog really doesn't have much of me (my thoughts etc) on it.

So.....readers and friends....what do you think I could do to make this blog more "all encompassing" as to ME: I'm not all IF, or cooking, or mommy, or sewing, or any one thing...ideas?

Sunday, March 13

Estoy loco....

I have no had down time all week. Ave takes a nap late morning into the afternoon, which is the hours I was needed in the store. So I would get up with her at 6:30-7am, put her down for a nap at 11:15am, go to the store and work for several hours, come home, then usually head back over to the store in the afternoon again (I did have a baby sitter here with her). I didn't stop from the time I got up until I went to bed 11:30 most nights....and forget about time to go to the bathroom!

Hopefully this week is a little more low key, and I actually get to spend sometime with crazy-girl and do some stuff around the house.

OH MY GOODNESS! This kid is growing in leaps and bounds. Just in the past week she's gone full speed ahead: Her words have increased, her speech is more enunciated, she's climbing up on EVERYTHING, she now will say "yes" and nod her head. It's so much fun to watch and completely exhausting!

Last night we had a bit of a scare...someone got out of her crib. Fortunately we put a hook and eye on her door a few weeks ago, just in case she eventually did get out. I think she scared herself more than anything else. I don't think she knew what to make of it, but we solved the issue and hopefully it's a long time before we have that happen again.

I think that's all what's been going on with us. The time change is screwing with me; I know it's "really" an hour earlier than it is, but I'm ready for bed earlier than usual. Rather sad.

Saturday, February 26

“I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about.” Oscar Wilde

We've been busy, but I don't have much to say. I've been working on a quilt and just trying to keep things getting done around the house: I feel like I've got a whole bunch of nothing accomplished. So, since I don't have much to say, this is just going to be chock-full-o'-pictures!

We rocked the leopard print!

We helped mommy work on a quilt for a special little one (more on that, I'm not).

We tried on Daddy's new hunting jacket.

We tried out some new headware: A styling cloche that Auntie Meggers made and some crazy pigtails!

Friday, February 4


We've had a bit of snow: The pile in front of our house is about 12' high....the sidewalks have about 4' on each side of them. After the other days "wintry mix" we have about 3-3.5 feet of snow on the ground. Not as much as some, but certainly more than we've had in recent history. :-) Makes me happy.

This is the first winter in quite a few years that we've had continual snow. Usually we get a handful of storms throughout, and the snow is gone in a couple of weeks. This year we've had snow on the ground since the beginning of December, except for the week following New Years, when we had rain.

And before anyone says "oh yea, it's great until you have to shovel it" or something along those lines....I am the one who shovels it, all of it. Even with the frigid temperatures (which means our house is never above 63* no matter what we do), it's still beautiful...the sun is always shining (unless there is a storm) and the sky is always that dark, clear blue.

What can I say...I feel bad for the people who never get to experience this wonder and beauty!