Monday, September 12

Anxiety

Anyone here ever suffer from anxiety issues? No, I didn't think so ;-) For at least the past 10 years, and probably before, I remember having issues with anxiety. At first I didn't realize that my shortness of breath, feeling strangled and racing pulse were the result of anxiety. I don't know what I thought they were besides annoying.

Over the years I seem to go through bouts of dealing with this: Suddenly for a few days or week it seems like I can't catch my breath, that I'm being pulled under. Sometimes I was able to identify what it was that was bothering me, other times I had no clue.

As you've probably guessed, since I'm writing this post, I'm dealing with it right now. For at least the past 4 days I've been having the constricted chest/can't breath/heart pounding feeling on and off, but mostly on. Not good.

I don't know what I could be feeling anxious about *note sarcasm*: I mean, having triplets, and then 4 kids 2 and under, and a c-section all looming in my future isn't a reason to feel anxious. Of course I know it's not good for me to be feeling this way, but I pretty much refuse to go on meds for it, particularly while pregnant. I don't feel that it's that much of an issue, it's more of an irritating nuisance.

Of course, then I wonder if it's all in my head and it's really just the babies growing and that is causing my shortness of breath (which I'm sure, in part, it is). I'm not quite where I was at full term with Ave, but I'm definitely getting there. Baby C is quite comfortably wedging himself up and under my ribs.

Back to the anxiety....it's not fun. Other than praying/talking about what has me stressed, I'm not sure what to do about it. I continue repeating to myself:
"Cast all your anxieties on Him, for he cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7
And....
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Phillipians 4:6

7 comments:

Amanda said...

*BIG HUG*

I have had the same problem! It first happened to me when I was pregnant and I thought it was the baby but then a couple of weeks ago it came back out of the blue. I was completely confused since I thought it was baby related. I got it checked out and discussed it with my therapist. It went away without remedy so I was definitely starting to think it was anxiety related. Then, the other month, we had a prophylactic failure (if you catch my drift). I knew that I couldn't get pregnant cause it was the wrong time of the month, but as soon as I stood up, it was back! I could not breathe. It took a few days to get over it.

Oh I hate that feeling. Hate it, hate it, HATE IT!

In my therapy we have been working on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). The basic idea is to identify the situations that cause you anxiety (or depression), then what you're thinking during that situation and how it makes you feel, then find a new way to think about the situation so that you don't have the same negative responses. It helps, but I'm on drugs too, so I wonder what will happen off the drugs.

If you can't get some counseling, maybe try to get a book about coping with anxiety (they have workbooks).

I always found that keeping busy with a task helps. Laying down on my side helped too.

Celia said...

My husband suffers from anxiety and acid reflux. They feed into each other, leading to fun adventures like Father's Day at the ER. His anxiety started two weeks before our iui. Nothing really helps him and he has been resistant to going to a therapist. When he gets very panicky I remind him that he is NOT having a heart attack and that he will feel better soon.

sadie607 said...

Me. I've suffered from severe anxiety my entire life literally for as long as I can remember really severe anxiety. It finally got so bad my first year of divinity school that it was really affecting my life to the point that I barely left my apartment. I didn't drive, I didn't/couldn't go into stores alone, I couldn't go to my schools cafeteria etc etc.

I wish I had blogged more about this journey but I was so embarrassed that going to the grocery store caused panic attacks.

Maybe I'll write a post about my journey sometime soon.

I reached my breaking point in Nov 2007 when I finally decided that having an anxiety attack at the thought of grocery shopping was not a way to live and I sought therapy.

Similar to Amanda with did cognitive behavioral therapy (along with other things). It was a lot of work and it took a lot of concentrated effort on my part. I had the most amazing therapist who I miss greatly in CT.

After the birth of E&E my anxiety went into overdrive along with depression and it was then that I finally caved and went on medication. Between the CBT and the medication I feel like I have my life back.

I am in such a healthy place these days and my anxiety is mostly in control. And when it's not I have the tools gained from three years of weekly therapy to help guide me back.

Anxiety sucks but seeking help was THE best thing I have ever done in my life. For the first time in my entire life I don't suffer from constant unending anxiety about all aspects of my life. I can make phone calls, I can go to stores, and I'm even starting to drive.

It's so freeing to finally be able to be myself and allow others to see me. Instead of seeing me fighting the anxiety that always always took over.

sadie607 said...

I want to add that I was so resistant to medication but I finally had to accept that to be the best mom and wife and the best me that I needed extra help.

I honestly feel so great. I basically tell everyone close to me about the power of my medications because I feel so alive and unburdened and untethered.

I will say that medication alone wouldn't work. Before I started medication I had 2 years of CBT under my belt. It was Postpartum anxiety/depression that finally pushed me to the point of medication. It simply wasn't really safe for me or the babies any more to try and muscle through it.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. You do have a lot on your plate. Just try to take it one day at a time (and the babies do squeeze the air out of your lungs I remember that feeling clearly with just my two)

VA Blondie said...

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I hope you find your way through it soon.

Oh, I came across a new website about raising large families. It is called "4 Kids or More"

http://www.4kidsormore.com/

I read other sites by these authors and really enjoy them.

Queenie. . . said...

Relaxation cd's? I know it's laughable with Ave, but if you can find the time, I really do find that they help. They're kind of corny, but it works for me.

Hang in there, and just remember that whatever life throws at you, you'll be fine. I promise.

Suzy, Not a Fertile Myrtle said...

Oh Anxiety is my mortal enemy. I hate it.

I just added a second medication to try and kick it's sorry but.

There are definitely things that you can take while pregnant. Talking to your doctor about it would be ideal.

I have had many of those same emotions. Feeling like your chest is gonna explode, not being able to breathe. It's truly awful.

And sometimes just the worry of being anxious makes me anxious. It's a vicious circle.

Hoping that the anxiety will subside soon!
xoxo

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