Catch-Up

Breath!

I feel as though things have just been a whirlwind of ending and beginning, from one year to another, and that I just haven't written a REAL post. I don't feel that much is going on, but there are some things.

I called worked last week and told my boss I'd like to come in and discuss my return to work with her and our HR manager when she's next in the office. I could already tell it was getting a bit "chilly" on her end of the phone...great! I was told to contact our HR person to set it up; she finally called me back today. I go in next Monday at 1:30 to discuss my return (or lack there of) to work. I can hardly wait for this conversation *note sarcasm* Either they will be cool about it or completely bitchy and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I just have to keep telling myself, "It's not personal: It's business".

We had a nice Christmas, definitely better than last Christmas...when we found out the week before that BIL and PP were pregnant...whoops! I managed to not get into a fight with my brother, although we didn't spend much time near each other. I did almost got in a fight with FIL... or rather his behavior was TERRIBLE and I seriously wanted to punch him in the nose.

Christmas day he was down here and had a major attitude, granted he had a slight cold and didn't feel great. Matt asked him if he would be able to help him sheet rock our bathroom...."I'll have to think about it" (we found out yesterday, that while FIL was visiting BIL in NH, he helped him sheet rock their entire basement...but he can't help with our bathroom).

Then on Sunday (12/27) FIL, in a moment of kindness, helped Matt move the last of the wood pile into the basement (it only took a couple of hours). We went up there for dinner that night and he was in a mood again. We were doing presents with SIL and Matt's grandparents. FIL sits down next to the tree, MIL asks him to hand out gifts "I don't want to" and flat out REPEATEDLY refused to participate in giving gifts, left the room the minute they were done and went back to his TV (he didn't have a cold at this point). That night he makes some comment about A...I think we were talking about her hair or something...and he goes "It's not like it matters....it's all going to fall out anyways": SIL kind of went off on him about that.

I've been trying to get a picture of A and her grandparents since she was born, but FIL is never cooperative. They're leaving for Egypt for a month and I really wanted a picture before they left...here's the picture I have. He flat out refused to look at the camera. Isn't lovely?! GRRR!! He's been seriously getting on my nerves lately.

We have started a couple of our "To Do in '10" list. We went to Lowe's on New Year's Day to look at stuff for the bathroom and decided that we really don't like any of the bath vanities they have OR we don't want to spend $600 on them. I think we may just build the cabinet and the medicine cabinet too. We still have to sit down and price out the whole project, but we're seriously going to try and get it done for less than $1500. Sheet rocking is really the biggest part of the job, even the tiling of the shower isn't going to be too big. I just want to get it done.

I actually managed to work on a sewing project for the second time since A was born. Yesterday we were snowbound (we actually were all weekend, it was REALLY nice)...Matt brew a batch of beer and I started working on a tote bag in which to store all of the crafting supplies for the kits I bought. I'm hoping to be able to work on it in the evenings a bit, but between A, the dogs, the chickens, the furnace and the rest of the "household to dos" time is scarce.

We've decided on a bit of a sleep routine for us. We're going to rotate nights, as long as she's on schedule. Meaning every other night Matt get's the 3:30 shift and I get to sleep, but if she's wonky and not sleeping I get her. I tried in the crib last night again. She slept for about 3 hours in there, but would start crying every once in a while. Needless to say I didn't sleep during that time and actually considered sleeping on the floor so I was right there....we'll have to see.

The doctor wasn't too concerned, but was relatively adamant about no tummy sleeping. I know once she is allowed to sleep on her tummy that she's going to be a great sleeper, until then.... I honestly can't complain because she's not a bad sleeper, she just doesn't do what I (or the books) think she should. I guess that's partly my problem...I need to get over them (the books) and just do what works for us.

Here's the beginning of the tote bag I'm working on. I bought the black paisley fabric several years ago and absolutely LOVED it, but didn't want to use it in just anything...so I decided to use it in this (I have 5 yrds of it!).

I also went for my eye exam today, that was interesting with a 2 month old that didn't want to sleep. I need a stronger script, no surprise there, but I also have an astigmatism in my right eye...had one when I was a kid too. I asked the doctor about my eyes starting to bother me for up close work (ie. quilting or hand stitching) and he said to try wearing my glasses for that too, rather than just distance.

I'm not sure if these are it, but it looks kind of like them, but they're Mocha and Cream not black.






And I think that's all that is going on right now.....phew!

2 Months - Well Baby Check-up

Today we had Avelyn's 2 month check up: She's doing well!

She weighed in at 11lbs 9.9oz and 23.6" long (she was squirming though; we measured her last night and she was a touch over 24"). He did detect a slight heart murmur, but he said it wasn't something he felt strongly enough about to send us to the cardiologist. We're going to play the "watch and wait" game on it. He said that if she wasn't thriving he would be more quick to send her.

I also asked him about something else that Matt and I noticed: A's pupils are not centered to the rest of the colored part of her eye...only by mere fractions, but enough that we notice it. He wasn't sure if it was an issue or not so we now have to go to a pediatric ophthalmologist (YAY!).

And the most dreaded part of the entire visit: SHOTS! Ave had to have 3 shots and an oral. The oral was ok, the first shot was done before she noticed, but the 2nd and 3rd sent her into the stratosphere...poor baby...I was doing my best to keep it together. She was hysterical...I have NEVER seen her cry that hard.

We're home now and she's sleeping. I'm hoping and praying that she doesn't have any issues from the shots.

9 weeks ~ Sleep Baby, Sleep

I think hitting 2 months flipped a switch. A used to do pretty good napping in the swing during the day, but now OY! The kid just wants to be awake and I can tell she's over tired and miserable because of it. We've tried everything the past few days....from swaddling (which we stopped doing at 3 weeks because she hated it), the bouncer, the swing, to putting her in her crib or in her bassinet, the only thing that works is if we lay on the couch with her on our chest...then she'll nap.

As wonderful as it is to hold her while she sleeps I have to get things done around here! And I'm paranoid about creating bad sleep habits that are going to be murderous to break down the road. She needs to sleep during the day, but doesn't.

She does OK at night. She's back to her earlier routine and she does the big chunk of that (10-3:30 or so) in her bassinet, but she has to be on my chest or Matt's to fall asleep. I have yet to put her down while she is drowsy and have her actually go to sleep on her own. I'm at a loss for what to do. I started reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", but I feel like all it does is tell me HOW she should be sleeping, not WHAT we need to do for that to happen.

I hate just letting her cry. She doesn't wind down and just becomes more and more hysterical...especially if her pacifier (aka George) pops out. I just don't know what to do....

We want to start transitioning her to her room, for at least the bigger sleep session at night, but even that...I can put her down in there sound asleep, but she wakes up after 15 minutes and then cries...I go in soothe her (not taking her out of the crib) and she's ok, then cries again...this went on the other night for 3 hours until I gave up.

She'll sleep in her bassinet, next to me, fine for her big stretch. When she wakes up at 3:30am if her hands and cheeks are cool (if they're not I leave her in the bassinet) I bring her in bed with us, because the house does not stay warm (especially when it's -15 with the windchill and no heat upstairs). We want to transition her to her crib only because we can turn a heater on in there and get it a lot warmer.

I know what I want...good nap sessions during the day, preferably in her crib so nothing disturbs her and sleeping in her crib at night, but how can I do that when it doesn't matter where she sleeps. She won't fall asleep unless on us and then doesn't stay asleep depending on where we put her :-(

I plan on talking to the pedi tomorrow about it....oh yeah...tomorrow we have SHOTS! YAY! :-(

(As down and as desperate as I sound, I'm more just concerned about her getting into bad habits. We're all getting good sleep at night...even if it is with her on my chest.)

8 Weeks

Today Avelyn is 8 weeks, which means in only a few short days she'll be 2 months old :-(

Here she is at 4 weeks

and now at 8 weeks (yea, she is slouching a bit in the chair)She's almost as big as her bunny! Where is our little baby girl going?! I keep meaning to update her Baby's First Year calendar with all of the stickers, but it hasn't happened yet...probably because I can't remember the exact "first time" for things, but as of now, Ave can:
*Hold her head up
*Sucks her thumb
*Roll from back to side
*Smile at everything
*Laugh
*Grasp objects (especially candy canes ;-)
*Sleeps [almost] through the night (usually goes down at 10pm, up at 3:30 for bottle/diaper, back down 'til 7am, another bottle/diaper, and out until 10:30-11:00am)
*Fitting into some 3-6 months clothes, and all 3 month clothes

I'm sure there is more, but I just can't think of it right now.

7 Weeks

Not too much to report here for Avelyn. She's 7 weeks and growing like a weed...she's actually fitting into some 3-6 month clothes....which makes me really sad. We had our second roadtrip yesterday and it went better than the trip home from NH.

We finally got the bottle situation taken care of: We stopped at BRU on the way home and got the right nipples for the right bottles and we no longer have any leaking or screaming! It's awesome!

What a weekend!

Saturday night, after being in the store all day, Matt and I went to one of our dinner dances. His sister came down and stayed with A while we were gone. I know a lot of people have major anxiety about leaving their little ones the first couple of times...for whatever reason (probably because she doesn't scream, yet, when I leave) I'm ok, for a few hours...then I start to miss her like crazy. We were only gone for about 3 hours....and dinner was well worth it!
(Can I just say how much I absolutely love the color of my eyes in this picture? Is that ok. It actually reminds me a lot of the Cullens eye-color in Twilight or what I imagine Claire Frasers [Outlander] to be)

Unfortunately, this will be the last picture ever taken with Matt's nose looking this way. On Sunday, while doing wood, he smashed it. A piece slipped off the truck, hit another piece, and catapulted that one into his nose. It's broken, and there was a huge gash across the top of it. Hopefully it heals all right, but I'm not to sure if it will...it was rather a bad cut (I don't know if he'll let me take a picture of it or not).

Matt and I have a guilty pleasure...my sister makes endless fun of us for it: Twilight. That's right, both of us like Twilight. In the afternoon, I took A up to my parents' for a few hours so that we could go see New Moon. It was OK. Fortunately neither of us were expecting anything too grand. I really like Taylor Lautner and kind of like Rob Pattinson, but I really don't like Kristen Stewart and think they could have cast a much better person for Bella's role. She always looks like she has a perpetual sneer on her face (even in other movies).

We were laughing pretty hard at all the no-shirt action. There was one scene in particular with Jacob taking off his shirt that was so obviously over the top. There were some pretty cool special effects and no, we can't wait for Eclipse to come out.

That was all our excitement for the weekend: We managed to get out twice without A and do somethings. Of course, that will probably be the last time for a long time, because anything else we have to do she can go too.

6 weeks

Today, my baby is 6 weeks...that's sounding so old already. She's doing a lot better with the next level nipple (unless it's breast milk...which is thinner...she needs the level 1 for that). Her smiles are amazing!

Smiles are one of those things that people have a difference of opinion on: Some feel that the smiles in the beginning are gas related. A's weren't: She was smiling, in response to something, at 2 weeks...not all the time though. Now her smiles are almost constantly...she's always giggling about something or other...especially when she's just woken up or has a full tummy and is content.

She's also started to "squeak" more in the past 2 weeks. It used to be every once in a while, but now she's really starting to "talk" and I love it! We pretend that we're carrying on a conversation.

Every day I love this little girl more and more and fall more in love with her. While I am so excited to watch her grow and learn, there's another part of me that is so sad to see this time slip by.

ETA: Grandma measured A on 12/15 and she was 23" long and I weighed her at the store and she was 11lbs clothed and diapered, so about 10lbs 12oz.

“Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down on our

blankets for a nap." ~ Robert Fulghum

I think I've redeemed myself in the cookie department. After the nut ball debacle A and I headed over to the store, where we made magic cookie bars and baklava...both turned out the way they should: WOOHOO!

Then this morning I managed to get a batch of the nut balls done. They taste so much better when the nuts aren't bad. So far I have 3 tins of cookies downstairs...well 2 actually, because I'm trying to figure out how to store the baklava, but at this rate they're going to be gone before I get them downstairs. I'd love to blame it entirely on Matt, but, alas, I am just as guilt as he.

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I ended up going over to the store this evening to help them clean up. My mom had surgery on her foot yesterday. Her feet are screwed up and working 60hrs a week on her feet doesn't help. She ends up changing shoes 4 or 5 times a day because they all start to hurt her feet after a few hours...even the expensive nursemate ones she bought.

The doctor said that in her right foot the toe bones are rubbing incorrectly, so that was today's surgery. They went in and shaved all the bones in her right foot. She's also missing a joint in both of her baby toes and has a torn ligament in the left foot. Hopefully once this is all done and healed she'll feel a lot better and not have to suffer.

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We had a bit of an issue with A: All day/evening Thursday she would eat barely anything. She'd take a few swallows (unusual for her...she'd blow through the whole bottle if you let her) and start screaming. She'd do this for about an ounce, then fall asleep. She'd wake up about 20 minutes later and repeat....this went on the whole day and into the evening.

I was looking on the boards while I was pumping and someone had asked about when to switch nipples to a faster flow. I clicked on it and some did it as early as 7 weeks, but all did it once their LO started collapsing the nipples and doing the scream and eat thing. I stopped using the nipple I was using (the one that came with the pump) and switched her to the evenflo level 1 and she guzzled down 5 ounces (and spit some of it back up).

The evenflo nipple is a bit better(she at least eats regularly and doesn't scream), but she still collapses it repeatedly. I ordered the level 2s from amazon.com and have them over nighting to us (I got their free trial of amazon prime so overnight is only $6 - I'd spend more than that in gas and time to go to the store an hour away). Hopefully they'll arrive on time and this won't be an issue.

5 weeks

(I back dated this post as we were in NH this weekend)

A had her first road trip and out of state trip this past weekend. We went up to NH to see BIL, PP, and C: C's christening was this weekend. We've come to the conclusion that possibly the best time of day to travel with A is morning into early afternoon. Her fussy time is usually after 6 and driving during that time is not fun (how about reaching into the backseat to hold her pacifier "George" in her mouth for her and just have your hand on her head for 2.5 hours...fun!)

This week we've noticed that A is starting to coo and giggle and gurgle even more. She was doing it on occasion in the weeks before, but now it's more frequent and I must admit is just absolutely adorable!

This weekend was also A's first snow storm (which we drove in to NH). We haven't taken her out in the snow yet and it's too cold today (19*), but tomorrow is supposed to be warmer (30*) so I might put her in her snowsuit and take her out for a few minutes.

I never really thought of our care-choices for A as being a topic of discussion, but I guess it is. Several people at the christening thought it was fascinating that we used cloth diapers, glass bottles, and have chickens for farm fresh eggs. I never thought of us as the "earthy" kind, but I guess, based on the above, we are.

A is sleeping slightly longer stretches at night and some of them are even in her bassinet, if the house is warm enough. I love having her in bed next to me, but sometimes it is nice to have room for ourselves in bed.

All in all things are going well...I'm crossing my fingers that A doesn't catch her cousin's cold (poor kid is all snotted up - gotta love daycare). I kept them apart from each other as much as I could and distanced myself from C...hopefully we're clear. PP was telling me that daycare told them to expect 8-9 colds a year. With the average cold lasting 2-3 weeks, that's almost a 1/2 year of having a cold. YUCK!

Breastfeeding: I'm still pumping...twice a day. I get about an ounce a time. Of course it's a whole lot of setup and work for the 2 ounces I can give her a day. And of course I know if I were more diligent about doing it more frequently throughout the day I could very well get more. And of course I wonder is it worth it to keep pumping (and for how much longer) and how could I even consider not giving her whatever I can for as long as I can. Dilemma? Yea. I'm sure if I stopped pumping I would dry up in a day or two....and it's so easy to forget...especially in the morning when I'm trying to get things done.

Attachment Parenting

def: a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears,^[1] is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. (wikipedia)

I can't say that I went into the whole parenting thing with the intention of attachment parenting; Matt and I had more of the philosophy of doing what feels right and works for us. So far that has worked well. Part of me isn't sure if I want to call what we do "Attachment Parenting" (AP), because most people have negative thoughts on AP or deem those who do AP as hippie-nut jobs.

But, I guess we are attachment parenting. We wear our baby (or rather Matt wears her...I have issues with the moby and don't like the sling because I feel like she can't breath in there), we cloth diaper (which I'm really loving the BG3 diapers), we cosleep, and we pretty much let A dictate the scheduling (which has created a schedule of her own, which works for us too).

I know people have varying reasons for not liking cosleeping, the biggest one is an increased risk in SIDS. In the beginning I was paranoid about every little thing with A, but it became painfully obvious that A's sleep issues (outside of the fussiness) are pretty much related to her comfort level.

We live in an old house, we have no heat in our upstairs (yes, we leave the doors open so that heat will get up there), there are no outlets upstairs to plug in a heater, and it's getting colder outside every day.

The cosleeping thing didn't start out on purpose. We were just so tired that we were propping ourselves up against the headboard with Avelyn on our chest and kept falling asleep. Sleep, at somepoint, becomes a priority and without it one isn't going to function too well. That, and, for me, my body has a way of shutting me down if I don't get enough sleep: A migraine. I've had two mild ones in the past month...both come on after 2 weeks of me being the primary night-care for A.

Avelyn doesn't care too much for the bassinet, but I don't think it's because of the bassinet...I think she gets cold. We have a hat on her, a onesie, and a polar fleece sleep sack. I even risked it all and put a crocheted blanket on her lower half. We actually started noticing that if the weather were warmer at night she slept better in the bassinet.

Last night I caved...I let her sleep on my chest (fortunately I don't mind sleeping on my back and I'm a light sleeper). She slept from 11-4am, woke up, fed for 15 minutes and was in the bassinet at 4:30...sound asleep until 7:30. I can definitely handle a night like that again! I think she slept for such a good stretch because she was warm and comfortable.

Of course I have my own fears about the whole cosleeping thing. Namely that she's going to end up unwilling to sleep in her crib and still in bed with us at 4 years old (which throw a couple more kids in the mix and our bed is going to be too small!). I honestly don't think I mind the cosleeping, on a part time basis. At least until the winter is over, by then A will be 5-6 months old and I think that would be an ok time to transition to the crib.

I'm sure there are some of you who are thinking "Oh my goodness! Why would she risk A's life, after such a struggle to have her, by cosleeping" or other things along those lines. I know people won't agree with it, but, as other people say, this is my blog and my documentation of our journey.

Happy 1 Month Birthday Avelyn!

I'm sad: She's 1 month old...no longer weeks, but a month.

Today we had her doctor's appointment. I think they were confused about why we were there. The nurse took us in the room (first off, why have a 10:50am appt if they're not taking you into a room until 11:20am?!?!) and did her temperature, then asked if I had any questions/concerns today for the doctor. I told her I just wanted to ask about the redness on her eyelids (figured it to be birth trauma/stork bite).

We sat in the room for another 10 minutes and another nurse comes in and says undress A and we'll weigh her (she's 9lbs 10.6oz - just what I had figured based on the scale at the store). That nurse says the doctor will be right with us. Finally at 11:45 (almost an hour after our appt) the doctor walks in and asks "who's sick?" (my sister had gone with me and she's a patient of this doctor's). I told her that no one is sick, that A is here for her 1 month check up.

The doctor mentions the note on the chart about a "recheck" on her eyelids. I tell the doctor that this is the first time I'm asking about her eyelids. She checks A out very quickly, tells me the eyelids are stork bite, comments on the cloth diapers and A having sensistive skin (which she doesn't - she had a bit of redness around the legs of her diapers...same as any would have), tells me she'll see us again in 2 weeks for her 1 month appt. At this point I'm really confused and stressed at the fact that this appt took so long and I have another appt in 5 minutes on the other side of town.

We go to leave and I mention to the receptionist, that I think Dr. K meant in 4 weeks for her 2 month appt...she agrees...then tells me my copay is $30 (I'm thinking that there shouldn't be any copay since it's a "well-baby" visit. I hand her my discover card (because I'm in a rush and want to get out of there), and she says they don't accept discover...I don't have cash on me...I didn't even bring a wallet in.

My sister is scrounging through her wallet and comes up with $27. At this point a different receptionist walks over and takes over the other lady's job...she looks at the screen and tells me "Ok, you're all set then". I ask about the copay..."It's a well-baby visit, you don't have a co-pay"....thought so...just call to schedule the 2 month appt.

I don't know who got their lions crossed but someone certainly did.

Bottom line: A is looking good, weighing in at 9lbs 10.6 oz, they didn't measure her, but I did and think she's just over 21 1/2" long.

Four weeks!

:-( FOUR WEEKS! Where did four weeks go? I'm really not looking forward to December (one month old). We weighed A and her cousin at the store yesterday: A was 10.25 lbs (clothed and diapered) and C (who's 4 months today) was 14lbs.

We're having a bit of an issue with bed time: A seems to think that 10:30pm-1:30am is party time, but even she is too tired to party and just whinges and cries. She settles down, I put her in the bassinet, she's ok, I turn off the light and within seconds of that WAAAAAA! The kid hates it when I turn off the light...she's busy being nosy and looking at everything.

I'm a bad mother, don't tell the parent-police...we usually end up with A in bed with us, her sleeping on one of our chests. It is, quite honestly, the only way she will actually sleep some nights and when I can barely stay awake it works. The whole fussy thing is weird....because once she passes out from exhaustion she'll sleep a good 4-5 hours. We have had a couple of nights if 10:30-2:30, up for an hour (diaper, bottle etc) then down from 3:30-7:30: Those are the nights I wished would repeat frequently.

All of this said, I wouldn't exchange it for the world or wish it to get over with quickly. Seeing our niece, C, at 4 months scares the poop out of me. She's no longer a baby...she's holding up her head....wanting to do her own thing. I don't want A to grow up, at all, I'll take the fussing and crying if it means that she'll slow down and not grow up so quickly.

Breastfeeding: I think it's on the way out...not because I want, or am ready for, it to be. I'm actually kind of really sad and wish that I would have tried harder...even though, with our schedule, I don't think it would have been possible to try harder. Most days I'm in the store (with A) for 6+ hours...I don't have time to pump or even think about it.

I usually pump in the morning (I'm not waking up leaking anymore) and I always pump just before bed. What's odd is that I went from last Wednesday getting 2ozs total, to Friday only getting an 1oz. I'm not sure if it's lack of drinking, pumping or what.

I will honestly say, once we had the kinks worked out, I enjoyed breastfeeding. It really was a bonding time with Miss A. I think part of our dilemma is that A is a VIOLENT feeder...she's like a rottweiler with a T-bone steak. She doesn't sit still and quite frankly the boob will only go so far from my body. At first I thought it was just her frustration with not getting enough, but she does it with the bottle too.

So, yes I am sad, yes I wish I would have tried harder at it, but there's nothing to be gained by beating myself up about it. I do plan on continuing to pump/express as much as I can, for as long as I can. I did stop using the supplementer, but I think I'm going to pull it back out and try doing that, just to keep my supply up as much as possible.

Ok, on to the fun stuff! We had a lot of firsts this past week:

First Thanksgiving


First time meeting her cousin (C) and her aunt and uncle (BIL and PP)
First time going to church (no pictures)
First Christmas tree outing
First baby shower (no pictures): Yes, I took her to a baby shower...in spite of my proclamation against people doing that. I knew there would be no potential infertiles at this shower and knew I was only going to be staying for a little while and I knew there would probably be no one there who knew me. Matt wanted to get some things done outside so I A went along. She was very well behaved and I'm glad I brought her because it took away some of the awkwardness of not knowing anyone.

All in all we've been busy. We go to the pediatrician on Tuesday for another check up and then she's a month old..... :'( WAAAAAHHHH!!!

Three Weeks!

How is it possible that she's already three weeks old...next week she'll be a month old, a 1/12 of the way to one :'( I really can't believe that it's already been 3 weeks. I can already see the changes in her...while she never looked like a "newborn" she's already lost some of her "newborn-ish-ness". Sometimes I look at her and I don't see a baby...I see a little girl (which scares the bejeezers out of me!).

A's head control is phenomenal. I timed her...the other day she was sitting in my lap and held her head up for almost a minute straight before she "dropped" it. When she's on her tummy she holds her head up too. It's crazy!

Smiling: A smiles. I don't care what the "experts" say, but these are not gas smiles...these are really, honest-to-goodness smiles in response to something....whether it's the light coming through the window (loves that) or the silly faces and sounds we make. She definitely smiles...and let me tell you...those smiles are one of the most wonderful things in the world.

A loves, LOVES her FP Jungle exercise mat: I can put her on that and play the music and she squeels and kicks her legs, wiggles her arms and giggles the whole time. There are definitely some things which make awesome gifts, and that is one of them.

Music is another thing A loves. Matt and I are both big music people...we listen to a lot of different kinds of music, but we do enjoy listening to classical music around the house (it provides good background sounds). It doesn't matter if I turn on her bouncer, the stereo or whatever...this kid will completely settle down (for the most part) when music starts playing.

Today we took her to the Thanksgiving "dinner" (more on this later) at my parents' church...it was the first time we had people actually ask to hold her. Of course, I hadn't prepared for this, but I came up with the response "we're not letting anyone hold her because once 1 person does, then everyone will want to"...people were ok with that (as if they had a choice).

The pooping issue is no longer an issue...we now have what I call "POOP-SPLOSIONS!" Thankfully they only happen about every 36-48 hours. This afternoon's resulted in A being washed in the bathroom sink from the waist down, because there weren't enough wipes in the world to deal with THAT! :-)

We recently switched from S.imilac Advance to Earth's Be.st Organic formula...I don't think that has anything to do with the pooping. I was concerned that switching would cause some pooping issues, but those concerns were obviously unfounded.

I had a thought the other night: That A is going to grow up, that's she's not going to stay this precious baby forever, that someday Mom is going to suck and Dad won't know a thing. That day isn't today, thank God. But then I thought further, beyond those years...to the people A will meet, to her life as an adult, and I realized that I have a whole lot of praying to do. Praying that she meets more people who are kind than hurtful, people who will love and support her the way we do/will, people who will see (and appreciate) her for what a wonder she is.

One person in particulary popped into my head while having these thoughts: Her future husband (should she marry). That there is another little person out there (or maybe not yet) that will love my daughter and care for her and treat her with the respect she deserves. I figure I better get crackin' on prayers for that one, because if A is anything like me....He's going to need them.

(Before A was born I had every intention of taking pictures of her every week with a teddy bear or something next to her to mark her growth...that obviously hasn't happened...and I have no excuse for it. We're going to attempt that now).

Avelyn at 3 weeks

Two Week Well-Baby Appointment

Today we had Avelyn's 2-week appointment: All is well with her. She's now 21 1/4" long and weighing in at 8lbs 15.7oz. They actually give you a little card at each appointment telling you where she falls on the charts...she's longer and weighs more than 90-95% of babies her age.

We actually saw the doctor who will be Avelyn's doctor today, Dr. Kabe.er: We were both really impressed with her. She's actually my sister's pediatrician.

During the summer my sister got cellulitis from a mosquito bite and ended up in the emergency room. The only doctor who was available to see her for her follow up was this doctor. The thing my mom and sister really liked about her was that she's of the school of "Drugs are our last resort". I hate doctors that push PUSH PUSH drugs: If they're needed, OK, but let's not just take them for the sake of doing "something".

She was also pleased to see that we are using cloth diapers and are using only all natural products (lotion/soap). Her response to the cloth diapers was funny: "Take that Walm.art!"

We only started using our cloth diapers last night...I must say...they've come a long way since I last changed them. We have two different kinds: Green Mountain Diapers and Thirsties covers and Bum Genius 3.0 one size. So far we've only used the green mountain diapers, but I have no complaints about them.

It takes us less time to change a cloth diaper than it does to change a disposable. With the amount of laundry we do anyways, there is really no difference on that end either. Not to mention these are a lot cuter than disposable diapers.

And some pictures :-)

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." John Quincy Adams

Today we went to B.ton to do some shopping...yes, Avelyn went along. We had to get things for the store to do the gift baskets and what not for Christmas. We actually managed to get to BRU, Christmas Tree Sho.ppe, and Kohls. We could have actually managed a few more stores, but mom and dad were too tired and wanted to go HOME.

Matt wore the mo.by (he LOVES that thing) and she went in it in every store. I was giving him a hard time because all these women (young and old) kept coming up to him and asking about A...I told him I might have to be a bit worried about sending him out with her and not with me ;-)

Things are going well with A. We're still having poop issues, but after a couple of days of prune juice (per the doctor's orders) we finally got her to poop! I was, of course, reading online what can cause issues...some people say it's because of formula, but everything I was finding said that formula doesn't cause the majority of poop issues. One website explained it as thus: A baby's sphincter muscles are so tight from months of preventing poop, that it may take several weeks and poops for the muscles to get to a relaxed enough state that it allows poop easily. Now, that makes sense to me.

A is growing that's for sure! On Saturday I went over to the store for a couple of hours, I had to check some orders in and start looking at things for Christmas gift baskets....she was great the entire time. My mom and I were curious to see what she was weighing, so we threw her up on the scale: 8.98lbs...that was fully clothed and a diaper...but we figure without the clothes and diaper she was probably over 8.5 lbs, which means she's gaining well.

We actually had to buy some new clothes for her when we went shopping. We received some newborn sized things (which she doesn't fit in...she's too long) and a lot of bigger sizes, but not a lot of 0-3 months...which is fine. We also have a better idea of what we like: Snaps, legs, and footed outfits. So we bought a bunch of sleep n' play outfits in polarfleece and a couple of sleep sacks with sleeves (they're awesome because they're one size and are too big, but keep her hands covered and warm).

We're no longer swaddling A: She hates it! This kid wants to be able to move and get her fists to her mouth. So that's what we're doing.

I had a realization last night, that I have only two weeks until the beginning of Advent (11/29) and that is my last weekend before the holiday-crazies begin (we're going away almost every weekend before Christmas). I then thought about the fact that A's Christmas stocking was not yet done....so my goal for this evening was to get it "finished". TADA! It's done. I just have to stitch down the mesh in the front and then put a loop of ribbon to hang it from. There may be some other touch up stitches I have to do too.

I like how it came out, but I'm not keen on how the name looks. My stocking and Matt's have the name needlepointed right into the rest of the stocking....this one wasn't designed like that and I didn't realize that was their game plan when I started it...so I just started and never left room at the top for me to do her name: oops! Also it's a lot harder to center a name with an even number of letters. I might tear it out someday and redo it, but for now it works.

Updates!

Saturday, November 7th

Not too much was going on: In the afternoon Matt had to go and work at the store and then afterward we headed up to my parents' house. My brother and his wife were up to meet A, so we had dinner up there. My aunt and uncle took a lot of pictures, but we have yet to see any of them yet.

Sunday, November 8th

We cannot believe that she's already a week old...how the heck did that happen?! Last night we got a 5 hour and a 3 hour stretch of sleep: AWESOME! Let see if it happens again.

There are some things will A that leave me rather confused: Should a 1 week old be able to hold her head up? or follow you with her eyes? or roll over onto her side? Yea....we're all a bit bamboozled by that. She's doing great though!

In the morning we did a bit of an impromptu one week photo shoot (and not a moment too soon...A lost her umbilical cord stump the next morning): Here's pictures from that.

In the afternoon we went up to my parents house to press cider. My father and Matt got it into their heads' to buy an antique cider press, so that we could make our own cider. I must say it was a pretty cool piece of equipment and the cider isn't bad either.

I took A up there for a couple of hours...it was beautiful weather and nice to get outside for a while. Then it was up to the in-laws for dinner....it was far too long of a day, which resulted in me being crabby and A being hungry and us not being home...and eventually a melt down on my part...oh well...no one is perfect :-)

Monday, November 9th

Today was our first day home alone...the whole day. Let me just say I miss Matt. Even though he wasn't in the house with us too much last week (he was busy getting things done outside...like splitting the wood), it was nice to know that he was just outside...to spend some of the day with him.

The day was fine and there were no major breakdowns...my mom and my sister stopped by. My sister is too funny...she's always been the "I hate babies" person. Well she's head over heels for her niece!

I set up the "exercise mat" or whatever it's called...and A absolutely LOVES the thing...she's fascinated by the lights and loves any kinds of music/sounds....even if she does look a little bored by the whole thing.

All in all we're doing well. My tear is healing, but my butt (and tailbone) are killing me...I think it's from spending so much time sitting down (feeding A). I keep changing my positions and trying to stand as much as possible....a small price to pay.

We're still doing as much as we can with breastfeeding, but I am definitely not enough for her. I pump and/or breastfeed her, but this kid is taking 2-3 ozs at a time...I'm not match for that. I'm thinking of ordering some fenugreek or blessed thistle to see if that helps at all with my supply.

I never thought I would get "attached" to breastfeeding, but I really do enjoy feeding her. I like the closeness of it and knowing I am doing something for her that no one else can do. I'm trying to maintain a positive outlook and mindset, but the idea of not breastfeeding her actually makes me a bit sad. We'll just have to see what happens....

On a more cheerful note: I did manage to get the birth announcements done. Matt and I both like them, so tomorrow I will hopefully order them. I still have to show you guys a picture of the favors Matt and I made (instead of cigars)...there's always tomorrow :-)

Tales from the L&D room...

So there were some "funny" things I forgot to mention about my L&D. Here they are:

*In the middle of getting ready to push they brought in a mirror so I could see...the first thing I noticed and commented on was the bruise on the back of my leg (I had walked into the coffee table).

*I didn't swear the entire time I was in labor...I said "hell" once...as in "I want to push like HELL!" (Meaning: get that gosh darn doctor in here now! They still hadn't arrived and I was basically told I couldn't push until they arrived).

*During my last two contractions I was quoting bible verses to get through the contraction...one of my favorite verses Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me!"

* At one point I was begging God to get her out of me...that was just before the bible quoting.

*The most painful part of my delivery was the doctor running her finger along the edge of my hoohaa to help stretch me so that she could be born.

*If the placenta had come out how it should have (through regular contractions) I never would have experienced the MOST painful part...the doctor physically peeling it from my insides, but I did avoid ending up in the OR (which was where I was going if they couldn't get it out).

*Placentas are pretty cool looking things: The dr showed us what mine looked like and explained all the pieces we were seeing...it was pretty awesome (and looked a lot like a 3lb london broil).

*Everyone was in the room with us the entire time (MIL, SIL, my parents and my sister)...the only time they left the room was for the 30 minutes of pushing...then they were back in. I honestly can say I didn't even pay attention to them. I was just focused on breathing.

*I have a hard time remembering too much from L&D, I was so focused internally on the contractions and breathing through them...that I honestly felt like I was in a dream world and half-asleep the whole time.

*Matt has dubbed me "The Baby Making Queen": He has informed that since he isn't "built" for making babies, it's ironic that I am so "perfectly" built for carrying and birthing them with such "ease" and we should have lots of babies. Of course, I'm a bit nervous....I think I got off pretty easy this time and don't want to tempt fate the next time around.

*I'm still kind of in awe that I manage to have gotten through labor with no meds (not even a tylenol!) and that the most intense part of my labor (REAL labor) only lasted a couple of hours...I am so, SO grateful for that. I never even had time to really think about the whole thing.

*After delivery and them sewing me up I just kept looking from A to Matt and saying: We have a baby....We have a baby...4 years ago we decided to have a baby...and we have a baby (while sobbing).
I think that's all the random thoughts that have been floating through my brain the past few days :-)

"May strong arms hold you, caring hearts tend you and may love await you at every step… " ...An Irish Blessing

First off, we really would like to thank everyone for all of the well-wishes and congratulations we received, as well as all of the beautiful flowers and cards and gifts! It's so wonderful to know that there are so many people who love and care for us and our daughter :-) Thank you!

We've been getting along all right. Last night was a good sleep night...we managed to get a couple of longer stretches, which was very nice.

Yesterday we had Avelyn's first pediatric appointment...all is looking good and Avelyn is doing well: She was holding at her discharge weight, 7lbs 11oz. The doctor was quite pleased with how she was. They checked her legs, hips, tummy etc and all was good: YAY!

We did ask him about her not having a bowel movement since we had left the hospital (48hrs prior) and he suggested we try a 1/2 oz of prune juice with formula...oh boy did that work lol We go back in another couple of weeks for another check up.

We also had a first today, for mommy and daddy, BATH TIME! Of course they bathed her at the hospital, but we didn't have much to do with that, so this was the first time we were doing it ourselves.

She survived (albeit with a bit of hollerin') and we survived!


Breastfeeding is ehh: I definitely am not producing enough for her. I started using the pump that my MIL bought...I seem to be only getting about 1.5 oz and that's only after several hours of not pumping/feeding (we're increasing the frequency) and with the setting on high; so we're supplementing what I can get. This girl is a hungry baby! We had quite a bit of fussiness today, but then we started putting the whole thing together with the breastfeeding.

It takes me about 45 minutes on a side to get the 1.5 oz of milk...I'd be frustrated too if I was hungry and it was taking that long and that much work for me to eat. It honestly doesn't matter to me how she gets fed...my priority is to give her as much as the good stuff as I can, but if I need help to keep her fed ok. In the mean time I'll keep pumping and doing what I can.

The other issue I am seeming to have with breastfeeding is something called Raynaud's Phenomenon. It's when the nipples contract and blanch after feeding...the blood supply is essentially getting cut off to the nipple. They don't know what causes it, but it's believed to be related to nerve damage in the nipple...which for me would make some sense. It hurts though when it happens....imagine going outside in the freezing cold, topless, and pouring water on your nipples...yea.

I'm feeling ok. My butt hurts from sitting so much (lengthy feeding sessions). My tear is doing all right and the "bleeding" is definitely down to my usual periods (which are pretty light). My tummy is pretty funny looking...a bit deflated, definitely some stretchmarks, and very smushy. Matt says I should get a tattoo of tiger paws on both sides of my tummy, because my stretch marks look like I was clawed.

I got on the scale this morning and since I last weighed myself (last week - while pregnant) I've lost 20lbs. I'm back down to what I was while pregnant and had lost some weight from the MS (173 or so). I'm hoping, once I can exercise, to at least lose another 10 lbs...that would get me down to what I weighed in college...more than I really should, but I'd be happy with that.

Sleep is ok. Avelyn is quite content to sleep (*knock on wood*) at night....I think last night I got about 6 or so hours on and off...I seriously couldn't ask for more than that. I know it could very well still be newborn exhaustion and am definitely expecting sleepless nights, but for right now I'm ecstatic!

Mentally I'm doing all right. The first night home I had a bit of a crying jag before bed...I was scared about sleeping, whether she would be all right (seriously was fearing something would happen and she would be gone in the morning), also the breastfeeding thing was frustrating me.

Last night I had another crying jag, but it was a good one....we were laying in bed and I was trying to feed her before going to sleep and I was looking at her and just burst into tears. Matt asked me if I was ok (he's concerned about PPD - because I do have some depression issues in general - and I've told him I'm concerned about it too). I just told him that these are genuine tears of joy. I've never cried tears of joy in my life (except after delivery)...I just can't believe this is real...we really have a baby and she's such a good baby, she's beautiful, and healthy, and so much more than I could have ever asked for or imagined. I just can't believe that we're so blessed to have her.

The dogs are doing well. I'm actually sitting here with both of them in my lap right now. They're very interested in Avelyn and get very concerned when she starts whining or crying. They immediately come running to Matt or I. Sage will actually sit there and whine until we do something about it. It's kind of cute.

Matt is awesome (as I knew he would be): He's so good with her and completely comfortable with anything. He's definitely a happy daddy and madly in love with his little girl. The smiles he gets on his face when he's around her are priceless.

Yes, we've already discussed the next one. Probably next summer (2010)/fall we're going to get back on the horse and do another round of IUIs. We want the first two fairly close in age (no more than 2 years apart). Of course there's a lot of time and things that can change in the next 10 months.

I honestly can say that we couldn't be more happy for our little girl.

First Night

We survived! I was seriously concerned that something was going to happen in the night. There wasn't much sleep though...

I seem to be having engorgement issues...particularly on the right side (which had surgery twice). I talked to my mom and we both think that perhaps the 2nd surgery (or 1st) compressed some ducts...there's a lot of milk there, but no matter the method of trying to get it out (express, nursing, pumping etc)....it only comes out in droplets and nothing major. I spent about 3 hours last night massaging, showering, expressing and icing...trying to get the swelling to go down.

Avelyn was good through the night...we were up a couple of times...Matt slept quite a bit...I managed to get some sleep in the morning once my boob issues were lessened.

We'll see how it continues....