Thursday, December 3

Attachment Parenting

def: a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears,[1] is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. (wikipedia)

I can't say that I went into the whole parenting thing with the intention of attachment parenting; Matt and I had more of the philosophy of doing what feels right and works for us. So far that has worked well. Part of me isn't sure if I want to call what we do "Attachment Parenting" (AP), because most people have negative thoughts on AP or deem those who do AP as hippie-nut jobs.

But, I guess we are attachment parenting. We wear our baby (or rather Matt wears her...I have issues with the moby and don't like the sling because I feel like she can't breath in there), we cloth diaper (which I'm really loving the BG3 diapers), we cosleep, and we pretty much let A dictate the scheduling (which has created a schedule of her own, which works for us too).

I know people have varying reasons for not liking cosleeping, the biggest one is an increased risk in SIDS. In the beginning I was paranoid about every little thing with A, but it became painfully obvious that A's sleep issues (outside of the fussiness) are pretty much related to her comfort level.

We live in an old house, we have no heat in our upstairs (yes, we leave the doors open so that heat will get up there), there are no outlets upstairs to plug in a heater, and it's getting colder outside every day.

The cosleeping thing didn't start out on purpose. We were just so tired that we were propping ourselves up against the headboard with Avelyn on our chest and kept falling asleep. Sleep, at somepoint, becomes a priority and without it one isn't going to function too well. That, and, for me, my body has a way of shutting me down if I don't get enough sleep: A migraine. I've had two mild ones in the past month...both come on after 2 weeks of me being the primary night-care for A.

Avelyn doesn't care too much for the bassinet, but I don't think it's because of the bassinet...I think she gets cold. We have a hat on her, a onesie, and a polar fleece sleep sack. I even risked it all and put a crocheted blanket on her lower half. We actually started noticing that if the weather were warmer at night she slept better in the bassinet.

Last night I caved...I let her sleep on my chest (fortunately I don't mind sleeping on my back and I'm a light sleeper). She slept from 11-4am, woke up, fed for 15 minutes and was in the bassinet at 4:30...sound asleep until 7:30. I can definitely handle a night like that again! I think she slept for such a good stretch because she was warm and comfortable.

Of course I have my own fears about the whole cosleeping thing. Namely that she's going to end up unwilling to sleep in her crib and still in bed with us at 4 years old (which throw a couple more kids in the mix and our bed is going to be too small!). I honestly don't think I mind the cosleeping, on a part time basis. At least until the winter is over, by then A will be 5-6 months old and I think that would be an ok time to transition to the crib.

I'm sure there are some of you who are thinking "Oh my goodness! Why would she risk A's life, after such a struggle to have her, by cosleeping" or other things along those lines. I know people won't agree with it, but, as other people say, this is my blog and my documentation of our journey.

4 comments:

annacyclopedia said...

Hey Jess - just want to let you know that I'm not thinking anything of the sort! C has been sleeping in our bed since day 1 and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon. Every family does what works for them and there is plenty of evidence that says that cosleeping and bedsharing are perfectly safe if done within certain parameters. So I'm glad you are finding what works for all of you! Keep up the good work!

Rotten said...

We didn't co-sleep with C, but let me tell you how tempting it was! On those days of exhaustion, she did sleep with us, but ultimately she ended up in her own crib at 3 months. I think you do what feels right for you. Babies grow for 10 months safely listening to a heartbeat and being warmed by their mother. Then when we give birth, they are thrust into an independent life in a cold quiet crib. As long as you are aware of the safety measures of co-sleeping, I say go for it! Enjoy a good night sleep!

rocket.queen. said...

lurker here, but I wanted to pipe up and say that so many studies show co-sleeping is not the risk the medical world tries to make it out to be.

We didn't intend to cosleep either, but with a newborn with reflux who would ONLY sleep while being held, it became our thing... And I don't regret it.

If you're interested, I can definitely point you in the direction of some tips and studies that will ease your mind and boost your confidence in cosleeping.

my email is jessi 'dot' dooo 'at' gmail.com

kimbosue said...

We didn't co-sleep, but almost! It would have been so much easier. He did sleep in our room in the playpen/bassinet for 4 months though. Enjoy a good night's sleep however you can!

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