Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 12

What about you? Do you?

I think in blog posts.

Maybe you’ve noticed. Maybe you haven’t. It’s been kind of quiet around here. There hasn’t been many thought provoking thoughts.

Things are busy and the time to sit and write doesn’t seem to happen as often.

Now, if I could managed to somehow hook my brain up to the computer once I climb in bed to go to sleep, I’d be in major business. That’s when the thoughts and words flow and come together seamlessly.

So, I’m hoping that somewhere, somehow I’ll be able to get a few more minutes here and there to collect (and write) my thoughts.

Thursday, July 19

Why “These Feet of Mine”

I’m sure some of you were wondering why I wrote an ode to my feet, particularly as part of my Turning 30 series. It’s a very simple, and painful reason. For the past month it feels like my feet have taken a lot of abuse.

At one point my left foot was in some sort of spasm and I couldn’t point my foot (think ballet point), which I’ve always been able to do. When I did, I had a shooting pain up the big toe across the top.

Then I proceed to stub this toe and the whole foot several times over the course of a week. It always seems like once you stub a toe, you keep on stubbing the same one for a while. Kind of like biting your cheek. Does this happen to anyone else? Or is it just me?

I was also lucky enough to have stepped on several pieces of broken glass. Both Ave and I had broken different things; fortunately it was me who got hurt, not her.

Then I had to have a chunk cut out of the bottom of my right foot, because of a suspicious mole (which ended up being nothing). And they took a chunk (about the size of a marble). It’s been over a week and it still hurts to walk on.

All this to say, that my feet have been on my mind, which made me think about how much our feet do for us and all the places they take us.

Sunday, July 8

Food for Thought

As you know I'm always redoing and tweaking things around here. I want to know...what is your first thought when you visit this site? What things do you not like or would like to see changed? Is it difficult to navigate? Do you feel overwhelmed by too much stuff? I want this place to be just as comfy for you as it is for me. So let me know, what would invite you in to stay for a bit?

Wednesday, June 20

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” ― C.S. Lewis

Last night I had the good fortunate to be blessed by meeting up with some of my Ladder Blogger Ladies for dinner. Oh what fun we had! I had never met any of these wonderful ladies until last night, except for the instigator leader of the group, my friend, Trina, whom I haven’t seen in at least 10 years {and only reconnected with her by chance via facebook….you see, last I knew she was still living in a tipi and didn’t have a computer, so I never thought she’d actually be online}.
Anyways.
We had a great time. We discussed a lot of different things regarding our blogs, the future of our blogs, different books, our faith and a whole lot of non-sense (such as…I found out that one of the ladies husband used to go to our best friend’s church). It was a great time to get prepped for the Allume conference in the fall, since I think we’re all going to it. Unfortunately, some of the NY ladies weren’t able to attend, as well as the ones from across the country, but we were able to video chat with them for a few minutes.
LB Panera dinner
Everyone was so gracious and sweet, especially since I seemed unable to stop talking last night (must’ve been the rare adult interaction)—Sorry about that ladies.
It was a lot of fun…and hopefully we can manage to do this soon, or at least once a year.

Tuesday, May 22

To Be…or rather…What To Be....

For a while now I’ve been struggling, hard, with my blog; trying to figure out who I am and what I’m supposed to be. I started an online Intentional Blogging course, I’m a part of a blogging group, and still I struggle. See, the thing I’m struggling with is how and what to blog.

I suppose I should start at the beginning. Throughout my entire blogging history there has been a small glimmer of hope that somehow this blogging-thing could turn into a {REAL} writing-thing, like getting traditionally published. The thing is, blogging, in and of itself, IS a writing thing. I’ve been entrusted with certain words that only I can choose whether and how to share them with others.

Once I realized that my head really hit the desk. Oh boy! So I’ve been writing for 4.5 years now and what exactly have I had to say….ummm. I post, a lot: I average 197 posts a year (and that’s NOT including a ton of personal and infertility posts)….that’s more than some blogs have had during their entire {several} year existence. Which again makes me ask, what have I been saying?

In the fall I’m attending the Allume conference, a blogging conference for Christian bloggers.  The thing is I don’t think of myself as a Christian blogger. Sure I have the occasional post about my faith or how God is working in my life, but it isn’t what I solely blog about. So, do I even qualify to go to this conference?

Again, what I have been saying for 4.5 years?

I love food, and blog about that; I love sewing and quilting, and blog about that; I love taking pictures, and blog about that; I love DIY and home renovations, and I blog about that; I love books, and I blog about that; I love my home, my kids, my husband, my God, and I blog about that. The thing is, I make the BIGGEST blogging mistake out there: I am the BIGGEST blogging mistake out there. I blog about MORE than ONE thing. I guess that makes me a Jill-of-all-trades, Blogger of none.

You see if I were to pick just ONE thing to blog about, I’d get bored with this writing gig really fast. Because I’m not just one thing. I am a thousand little things all added together to be ME…that’s why there is no one else in the world like me.

I’ve decided something.

I’m going to STOP trying to be like other bloggers, people who focus strictly on their faith or their sewing projects or food or any of the other thousand things people blog about exclusively {because that’s what successful bloggers do}.

I’m going to blog about the things I know about, the things that interest me, the things that are happening, here, in the White House, because after all that’s who I am and this is my Life in the White House.

Oh, and as to what I’ve been saying for the past 4.5 years: Any good photographer can tell you, sometimes you have to take a lot of shots to get that one picture….I know that’s true for my photography. I guess the same is true for my writing. DSC_0389

Saturday, March 17

Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona Daoibh!

(Happy St. Patrick's Day!)

I'd already been there, in the south, for 3 weeks. It hadn't felt right. It hadn't felt like I imagined.

Then, heading north, finally: Home! That's what I felt...Home. I was where I had longed to be for so many years.

Looking out over the stoney cliffs, hearing the surf smashing at their knees, home behind me. Before me lie the whole of the Atlantic, stretched all the way to the shores of America, where my family went more than a 100 years ago.

I could sit there all day, hearing the waves, feeling the wind on my face, the sun warming my head, feet dangling...700 feet above that blue-grey water.

I had always felt a part of me existed elsewhere, that there was not so much a piece missing, but a piece apart. Looking out over the fields; a quilt of greens, edged in the gray-brown stones of fences. Clear blue skies stretching forever above. I was there, finally. Even in its mists and gloom I felt its welcoming embrace: Céad míle fáilte!

It's been six years now since I've been back, since I've been "home", and still I ache for it, for my green fields and cool weather, for both it's sun and it's mizzle. For Ireland.









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Wednesday, February 29

Taking on the Beast that is Shyness

Growing up you wouldn't have pegged me for being shy, just ask anyone who knew me. I was loud, to the point that I probably was obnoxious. At least looking back I think of myself as obnoxious. I listened to loud music, said really weird and crazy things, and said and did things that made me seem tough (but not in the tough-guy sense, just in the sense that nothing people said or did could hurt me).

My philosophy was to make fun of myself and put myself out there before anyone else had the chance to call me on the spot or otherwise draw attention to me. I felt that if it was me doing it I was at least in control.

As an adult I'm really rather the opposite. I'm still very shy, but I now avoid any situation that would draw attention to myself. I'm most comfortable staying at home or with family. I don't feel comfortable meeting new people. I always talk way too much, say things that I end up rethinking, and in general end up feeling like people, for the most part, would rather have not met me.

In spite of this I think I'm going to a Christian blogging conference. Me, who has only met 4 people that I know from online, is going to a blogging conference. Me, who is EXTREMELY quiet, shy, and reserved about her faith is going to a Christian blogging conference. Of course, this comes with it's own set of issues, beginning with transportation and lodging.

On top of being shy...I'm also a bit of a control freak. I have to do things certain ways, like have my own car, have my sound machine at night, etc etc. For me, it's really a lot easier to stay home, but I'm really feeling that I have to go to this conference. I'm not sure how things will be managed on the home front with me gone for 3 days or where the money is going to come from to foot the bill for my lodging and gas, but I think I'm going to go.

Now, I'm asking all of you to pray for whomever, if anyone, I end up carpooling and rooming with. But Allume 2012...HERE I COME! Tickets go on sale March 1st...let me know if you're going!

Friday, May 13

5 Minute Friday - Deep Breath..

Wanna just write? Without wondering if it’s just right or not. You’re welcome to play along. The rules are easy.
  1. Write your heart out for five minutes and show us what you’ve got.
  2. Tell your readers you’re linking up here and invite them to play along.
  3. And most importantly, go visit, read, and encourage the fellow five-minuter who linked up right before you.{I humbly beg you to turn off word verification for the day to make this easier!}
Deep Breath....

I feel like I'm standing at the edge of a pool, preparing myself to take the plunge. And in a way I am, what happens today with invariable affect my life, in one way or another. If today results in the outcome I desire, it means that Avelyn will be a big sister (and an awesome one at that!). If it doesn't turn out the way I want, it means we're down another vial and 1 more closer to having to make some seriously big decisions.

I catch myself holding my breath and remind myself, "Breath! Breath!" God is in control as he always is, I just have to surrender my ridiculousness and allow him to have control of my heart and mind, as well as my body. It's never been easy for me to give up control. I keep hoping that some day I will be able to do it well. Hasn't happened yet.

I've been able to trust God fully and feel his presence the past two weeks through all of this and yet, here I stand, at the moment I need to trust Him the most and I'm drawing myself away, closing myself up, not breathing. I remind myself "take a deep breath; that we ever had Ave was a miracle. Why do I believe that He could put a child in Mary's womb, but not my own, even when it has happened before?" I don't know the answer. I know I need to keep breathing, deep, cleansing breaths to renew myself and remove this negativity that I know comes at the hands of the Evil One: "SATAN BEGONE! I REBUKE YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST!"

Deep breath....keep taking them....from now ....until it's over.....whenever that may be.

Friday, May 6

Five Minute Friday: Motherhood Should Come With…


  1. Write your heart out for five minutes and show us what you’ve got.
  2. Tell your readers you’re linking up here and invite them to play along.
  3. And most importantly, go visit, read, and encourage the fellow five-minuter who linked up right before you.
    {Pretty please turn off word verification for the day to make this easier!}

Motherhood should come with....

a lot less work to get there. It shouldn't take numerous shots in my tummy and visits to a doctor 2 hours away, it shouldn't take months and years of crying because I don't see a second line on that pregnancy test. It should come with ease and joy, not fear and worry that it won't ever happen and once it days that it could disappear at any moment.

Motherhood should come with....

a warning that you can never love someone else as much as you will love your children (whether they are from your body or your heart), that for the rest of your life your heart is, quite literally, going to be walking outside of your body. That the thought of anyone ever hurting your child is enough to make you want to lock them in a closet for their own safety.

Motherhood should come with....

the realization that there is absolutely no job on earth that is as important to do and as hard as being a mom and that there is absolutely no way to do it perfectly and a billion ways to completely screw it up. That even while we hold our children in our hands they are ultimately in God's hands.

Friday, April 8

5 Minute Friday - If you met me...

If you met me....

You'd probably find out I'm a lot shyer than you thought I would be. That when I meet new people I probably come across as somewhat snobby, but it's just that I honestly have no idea what to say and worry about sounding like a fool OR I say the first things that pop into my head which aren't always the best things.

If you met me....you'd notice that I'm starting to go gray at my left temple, that my hair is rather haphazard, that I have a ton of freckles all over my face, I'm usually smiling or laughing, that I have big brown eyes, and I'm probably shorter than you'd think. 

Depending on the day you may think I have it all together or that I'm completely losing my mind: And honestly, I'm a little bit of both. Even when I "have it all together" I usually don't because there's something (in the form of a little girl running around) that I can't control, but God does.

Friday, March 4

"A beautiful woman is a practical poet, taming her savage mate, planting tenderness, hope and eloquence in all whom she approaches." ~

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've been a bit hesitant to post about the third book that I had previously mentioned. Namely because I know it's going to get more than few people's goats; which is not at all my intention in posting about it.

Instead, I'm going to post something that I wrote in my freshman composition class in college.

(Disclaimer to this and my coming post: I am in no way against the professional woman, even as a now SAHM I am still a "professional woman" because I own my own business. Unfortunately in this world today, due to financial (and for some infertility) reasons women are unable to not work.)

The Plight of the “Old-Fashioned” Girl

By Jessica M. Beckmann

Some older women (i.e. my mother and grandmother’s generation) find me to be a refreshing voice, clamoring above the din of the lost and, often, confused “feminists” of my generation; those of my own generation find me as invigorating as a glass of warm beer that has lost most of its fizz. I suppose the difference of opinion about me can be blamed, if it must be blamed on something, on the books I read growing up: Laura Ingalls Wilder, Louisa May Alcott, and other such seemingly “un-feminist” writers.

Lately, I seem to continually be getting slammed by the door of expectations: societies, not mine. Growing up I had always thought of myself as a feminist: I refused to ask a male for help and in fact thought the majority of males to be a slobbering, blundering bunch of idiots. Now I am on the opposite end of the spectrum. I still refuse to ask for assistance, but see no problem in a man holding a door or pulling out the chair for me before I sit down.

The problem seems to be more deeply rooted than just politeness and social formalities. People, or my female peers rather, find it odd that I have no desire to live with my boyfriend before married and that I do desire to get married and have children while still relatively young (before thirty). Many think that that is “unnatural” that a woman in today’s day and age would want to settle down to the permanency of marriage and children so soon. I say why not.

I suppose my beliefs can be seen as somewhat “old-fashioned” and how that can be something negative in today’s race for equality with men. I have no doubt in my mind that men and women are equal in almost every aspect; we are just as intelligent, just as capable, and just as qualified to perform most tasks as men are: In some case we are genuinely more qualified. There are also ways in which a woman is a “cut above” a man and wearing a business suit will not accomplish it.

There are two ways in which women are far superior to the frailty of the male race: birthing and wifehood. No man can accomplish either of these two tasks, no man is capable of withstanding the “trials and tribulations” associated with these two profession, for professions they are. Yes, men do play a rather large part in both these fields, but it is the woman who holds the power. Do you honestly think the ancient kings would have willing given any thought, let alone power, to women if the did not need them to proliferate their line? A man is entirely incapable of physically having a child just as he is unable to be a wife in a marriage. To me I see no detriment in aspiring to these two professions; I see great honor, and respect, in holding these positions.

People my own age have a severe problem with my goals in life. They find it odd: They do not understand why someone who has a BS in English wants nothing more from life than to be a wife and a mother; To stay home and teach her own children and support her husband. If you had asked me five years ago what I wanted to do in life I would have said that I wanted to work for National Geographic Magazine as a photojournalist, now the answer is that I want to write. I gave up on saying I want to get married and have children; too many looks of disapproval.

Many people just assume that I do not have any career goals because I want to do something out of the expected: How wrong they are! Among being a wife and mother I have many other “career” goals: I want to be a writer, be published, and I want to be an “intellect”. Learning and writing are two of my greatest passions; I find no greater pleasure, yet, than collecting my thoughts and scrawling them out on paper or reading the words that others have put down and learning about them, and myself, from their ink. Just because I have no desire to become involved in the everyday rat race and chase after professional titles, does not mean I have no career goals.

The ironic thing, to me, is the ideals held by feminists. They believe themselves to be equals to males and find it debasing that I would willingly sub-plant myself to a man. The more I look at it, most of the women I know, who consider themselves “feminists”, rely more on men than I do. Simple things, such as construction, home repair, checking the oil in a car, these women are dependant on men for. In the ways of self-reliance I am more a feminist than most. I am able to take care of many “manly” things myself. I do not need to call someone to install flooring in my home or take my car to the shop for simple things, I can do both myself; which is more than I can say for most females.

While society is shaming me for my desire to be an “old-fashioned” girl I have become increasingly more proud of whom I am. I no longer struggle with feeling guilty when someone looks at me crooked when I say I want to be married and have children before I am twenty-five. I know that there is just as much pride in what I think is a successful “career” as the women on Wall Street.

When a peer finds it odd that I do not believe in living with my future husband before married and that I desire children soon, I no longer feel ashamed. I know that for hundreds of years before me women knew that they were equal to men, and far superior, because of their “womanly” persona.

Feminism: Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes


Friday, October 31

Fall Fridays ~ A "Short" Story

Happy Halloween! Thank you to all of you who have followed my Fall Fridays. In honor of Halloween, and the last day of Fall Fridays, I've posted one of my longer stories: I wrote this while I was in high school and have done some edits along the way. Enjoy!

Death’s Playful Kiss
It was a cool clear night. The moon was full and cast a ghostly light across the trees and over the field. The stark contrast of the leafless trees stood out against the bright star filled sky.
I remember that night better than any other of my life. How the crisp cool air filled my lungs, burning them. How when the air entered my nose it sent a sharp pain through my teeth and sinuses. My eyes watered endlessly and my mitten less fingers felt stiff and numb. The trees swayed in the breeze, rustling the remaining leaves. I remembered so vividly how the breeze sounded, like someone whispering, "Watch out!" My skin still crawls when I think of the warning.
That night I had decided to leave my wife and go for a walk through the fields, which surrounded our remote Victorian home. I remember feeling as though I was being watched when I closed the front door behind me. For some reason I suddenly thought of my wife alone, in the big house, sleeping peacefully in our antique four-poster bed. I brushed the thought from my mind, like dismissing an annoying fly.
As I walked further from the house I turned and glanced up at our bedroom window. I could see a faint glow from the window and figured Lara to be up reading, nothing unusual. It struck me how much the house looked like a devilish face. The black shutters against the white siding, and the white picket fence reminded me of a devious grin. I wrapped my arms tighter around me, rubbing my biceps through the thick flannel of my shirt, trying to get rid of my goose bumps.
I ignored the feeling of anxiety that was growling in the pit of my stomach and continued walking. After about fifteen minutes, I reached the top of the hill. Standing there I looked around. Peering through the dark, trying to distinguish one tree from another. Over the flutter of the leaves I recalled having heard a sweet, childlike laughter. I called out "Who's there?" I reproached myself for my immaturity, realizing it was just the wind and my imagination. I remembered the last time Lara and I walked up this hill, we could see the roof of our house over the tops of the trees. I wanted to turn in that direction but something was holding me, preventing me. I heard the laugh again, this time more sadistic though. I forced myself to turn toward the house.
My breath caught in my throat, strangling my scream of horror. I saw the roof of the house engulfed in flames. The blue and orange-yellow "tongues" licked at the roof like a dog drinking from a bowl of water. I stood amazed, gawking at the sight. I began to plod back to the house, my feet feeling as though they were made of lead. With each step I moved quicker, until I was at a full out run. The thin branches of the trees whipped at my face, slicing through the numb skin. I opened my mouth, forcing my wife's name to pass my lips. "Lara!” hoping she would hear me.
As I continued toward the fire, the smell of burning wood filled my nose. I heard the voice again, mockingly whispering, "Run! It won't help!" I ignored the voice. My tears, mixing with the blood that was running from the slashes on my face, blinded me as it ran into my eyes. I stumbled over a root, but caught myself against another tree. I leaped over the low stone fence, which bordered our property. Wondering what I would find when the house finally came into sight again.
As I rounded the corner of the field, I finally caught a second glimpse of the house. The roof was black against the sky, bathed in moonlight. I crumbled to the ground. There before me stood the house, same as it was when I had left. Lara's light was still visible from the window. I began to run.
I crashed through the front door and pounded up the stairs, yelling for Lara. I reached the landing outside our room and reached for the doorknob. I yelped in pain and quickly drew my hand back from the door. The knob was burning hot and had seared the flesh of my palm. I wrapped my shirtsleeve around my hand and tried again to open the door, but it was locked. I banged my cold, clenched hand against the strangely cool wood, but no one opened the door. I rammed my shoulder into the door.

Once, twice, on the third try it budged. Again I smashed the door, and it opened under my weight. I fell into the room and ran for the bed. I called Lara's name again, but she didn't respond. My throat closed and my heart pounded against my chest, slowly I crept toward the bed. I remember pulling the sheets back from Lara's face, retching at the sight of her burned flesh. Her hollow eye sockets stared vacantly back at me, as if blaming me for their current state.
I fell back, continuing to stare at the skull and ashes, which were my wife. I noticed that the sheets, and nightgown were not burned. Neither was the bed nor any thing else. There had been no fire. I stumbled from our room and slumped against the door frame, I was completely confused.
A burst of icy wind swept up the stairs and slammed into me, knocking me to my knees. The sharp feeling of the cold across the back of my neck tightened its grip around my throat. I began to gasp for air, to suppress the burning feeling of suffocation that was growing in my stomach and lungs.
Fear grasped at the edges of my brain. I clawed frantically at my throat, trying to release myself of the increasing pressure there. I began to see spots before my eyes and my brain began to slow. Everything felt as though I was watching it happen to someone else, a movie. Nothing seemed real, as I watched the room begin to spin around me, faster and faster. I slowly began to crawl into the part of my brain where death lives, blackness filling my eyes. Another breath would not and could not be had.
I remembered waking up in the bed, after this had happened. My head pounded and felt as though a thousand nails had been hammered into it. I tried to sit up, but fell back on the pillow in sheer agony. I slowly turned my head, looking around the bedroom. Slowly everything, which had happened, began to trickle into my memory. I softly moaned from the pain. The feeling of it brought something to my mind, but I couldn't quite recall it. I closed my eyes forcing myself to remember. Bits and pieces of what had happened came back to me.
There was a freezing wind that had knocked me to my knees, then blackness, and the pain. God, the pain! I rolled over on my side and noticed a body next to me, in the bed. How had I gotten in the bed? My brain was suddenly flooded with everything that had happened. The fire, the voices, Lara . . . I quickly tore the sheets back from her. The little bit of moonlight, which crept through the curtains, splashed across her face. There she was peacefully asleep, an innocent smile played across her lips.
Calmness crept across me, I leaned over and kissed Lara on her flushed cheek. Her eyes fluttered open, as though they were butterfly wings. Lara smiled at me through the dark and moved closer toward me. I held her in my arms, becoming more frightened, and aware, of the past happenings. Slowly I drifted into a troubled sleep. I inhaled the smell of the sweet floral scent of Lara's hair, haunted by how she was before.
I woke up with a jolt and realized that Lara was not there. I frantically jumped out of the bed, calling her name. I glanced quickly around the room. I heard a soft giggle coming from the bathroom and carefully walked through the door. Another giggle, Lara jumped out at me from behind the door.
I was extremely startled. Lara must have seen it in my face, because she quickly apologized, kissing me good morning. I walked past Lara and looked into the mirror. I remembered that my face was all cut up last night from the branches. There wasn't a scratch on my face. I heard Lara getting dressed and walking down the stairs. I splashed my face with the icy cold water and looked into the mirror again, watching each drop slide down my face and splash quietly into the sink.
Lara was in the kitchen when I finally came downstairs. As I walked out of the bedroom, I noticed that the door was not smashed. I couldn't understand it; I had slammed through it last night breaking it into two different pieces. I rubbed my temples and continued down the stairs. My headache had grown in its intensity.
I walked into the kitchen and headed straight for the cabinet, I grabbed a few ty.lenol and then a glass. I walked to the fridge and opened the door, searching for orange juice. Lara said to me, "The juice is out on the table already.” I remember her looking quizzically at me, as though I was someone else. I poured a half a glass of juice, threw the pills into my mouth and gulped the glass of sweet sticky liquid down in one shot.
I lowered myself into the chair at the table as Lara placed a plate of gooey scrambled eggs and greasy bacon in front of me. She stood watching me pick at my food. I wasn't hungry at all; I was more upset about what had happened the night before. I noticed then that Lara was still watching me, frowning with a scared look of concern on her face. I forced a smile at her.
Lara pulled the seat out across from me and sat, still staring at me. I asked her what was wrong. She said to me, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I am fine. Why do you ask?"
"You seem really distant this morning, and you were murmuring in your sleep last night. Something about a fire. You kept moving all night, kicking out and stuff. You sure you're okay?"
I looked at Lara, took a deep breath, and told her everything that had happened. Well at least everything that I could remember. She just sat there, staring at me blankly. Slowly she stood up, pushing the chair back. She walked around the table and stood behind me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and holding me. "What a horrible dream!"
I shook off her arms from around me, "It wasn't a dream. It really happened, I know it did.” I sat quietly there, still staring at my food.
Lara moved behind me, toward the sink. "I am so sorry Baby." I could tell from the look in her face that she was having a hard time believing it. I knew I shouldn't have told her; it confused her too much.
I got up from my seat, not having touched any of my now cold food, and walked out the back door. Lara followed me out and to the porch swing. I sat down and she sat beside me.
"Lara, I know you think I am crazy, but it happened. I know it did. Trust me, please."
She pulled her feet up on the swing and rested her head on my shoulder, "I don't think you're crazy, honey. I just don't know what to say, that's all. It just sounds so off the wall. I am sorry."
"I know you are.” I just wish I understood what happened. It's just so freaky, the entire thing," I reached toward Lara and put my arm around her shoulder and held her close. I was so afraid I was going to lose her, to something or someone. I looked down at her, her eyes were closed and I noticed a small tear trailing down her cheek. "It's all right Lara, don't cry. I am here and nothing has happened. We're both okay, right?"
Lara slowly nodded her head and wiped away the single tear. I hugged her close and kissed her on her head, then slowly stood. "Where are you going now, James?"
I told her I was going for a short walk around the property just to see if everything was all right, and I would be back in a little while. Reluctantly Lara nodded her head and walked into the house, probably to clean up from breakfast. I walked around the house and shivered, in spite of the hot air, which surrounded me, remembering how scared I was the night before. As I walked toward the woods I felt as though I was being watched, again. I spun around quickly, looking in every direction, but I didn't see anything peculiar.
All that day the feeling stayed with me. I walked into the house in time for lunch. I walked toward the sink and began to scrub my hands with the slippery bar of pink soap that sat on the counter. I looked out the window toward the field and noticed someone walking along the edge of the woods. I bolted out the back door of the house and ran for the place where I had seen the person. By the time I reached the spot, there was no one there. I looked around frantically, praying that there would be someone there and called out, but no one answered my desperate call.
I slowly walked back toward the house, opened the creaky back door, and sat at the table. I noticed that Lara was looking at me with that same concerned frown. She asked me what I had seen, I told her that it was nothing to worry about and forced a smile to my lips. I could tell from the look on her face that she didn't believe me.
The rest of the day Lara and I puttered around the house. We worked outside, in the garden, and we cleaned the house. By the time it was ready to eat dinner I had all but forgotten about my worries. When I sat to eat, my mind began to wander, I thought about the person whom I had seen standing in the field. Who was it? What did they want? Did they have something to do with my "dream?" I was racking my brain, trying to find answers for all my questions. There was none.
That night, after Lara and I had gone to bed, I dreamed that someone was in the house. I woke out of my sleep; Lara was gone. I heard the laugh again, the same devilish one that I had heard in the woods the night before. I ran down the stairs, just as I turned toward the living room I saw the train of a nightgown slip around the corner. I walked swiftly down the hall toward it, hearing the front door open and close quietly. I bolted for the front door and noticed someone walking across the field carrying someone. I knew that someone was Lara.
I yelled at the top of my lungs, "Lara!” I began to run after the figure, following it across the field. When I finally caught up with it, it was gone. I looked around frantically for some sign of it or of Lara. I noticed that my feeling of being watched was creeping slowly through my veins again. I searched around in the dark, straining my eyes to see.
I noticed a strip of pale blue material blowing in the breeze. I grabbed for it and immediately knew that it was from the nightgown that I had bought Lara for Christmas the year before. I called her name again, nothing. I heard a voice; this time it was that of an older woman. She whispered, "There, look before you. There."
I pleaded with the voice, "Please help me. Where is my wife?"
There, look before you. There."
I began to sob uncontrollably now at the fact that Lara had disappeared, perhaps forever. I looked through the underbrush, when I noticed a hem of a nightgown from behind a tree. I rushed forward and found Lara lying prostrate on the ground. I fell down beside her and rolled her over onto her back, her head in my lap. I noticed a dark line around the base of her neck.
Red blood slowly trickled from the slit along her throat.
Someone, whoever it was who had carried her to the woods, had killed Lara. Her throat was slit from ear to ear. The muscles in her neck were exposed and blood began to gush faster from the wound. Her face was ashen and no emotion or sign of life could be seen in her eyes. Her entire body was cold, grey and clammy. I leaned over her body, sobs wracking my own into convulsions. I gently touched the cut and ran my fingers along her pale cheeks, shedding my own tears onto her skin. I kissed her on the lips and stood. I bent down and picked Lara up, carrying her back to the house. She felt so frail and light in my arms, like a child.
I couldn't believe that Lara was dead.
I walked through the front door and carried her up the stairs to our room. Gently I lowered her onto the bed. I placed her head on the pillows and pulled the sheets up to her chest. I sat next to the bed on the rocking chair, thinking of how our life was over. We had wanted so much and hadn't gotten that far. We were only married for a year and a half. We wanted children, but now we would never have them. It was my fault I had known something was wrong, but I didn't do anything about it.
Tears streamed down my pale cheeks, tracing their path through the dirt that was on them. I began to lose consciousness and finally fell asleep. My dreams that night were so odd. I have never been able to forget them, no matter how much I have tried. I remember now that I had been running through the woods, something was following me and I couldn't elude it. Step for step it matched me. I ran and ran until my legs collapsed beneath me. I lay on the ground waiting for my assailant to swoop upon me, taking my life as it had taken Lara's. No one ever came. I was completely alone, no one in the world knew where I was or cared.
I remember getting up in my dream and beginning to walk. I just wanted to forget everything. As I walked, I heard someone whispering my name, "James, help me please." It was Lara's voice. I called out for her, but all that responded was the wind in the treetops.
Then I woke up. I looked at Lara's deathly face, as peaceful looking as it had been last night. I knew this time that this wasn't a dream and that Lara was not going to come back to me, like the night before. Above my sobbing I heard the bedroom door open. I jumped to my feet and stood before the bed, protecting Lara's body.
A chilling wind filled the room, and someone stood before me. I asked in an extremely defeated voice, "What do you want?" The hulking body just stood there before me, not moving or saying anything. "Haven't you taken enough? You have killed the one thing in my life that I cannot live without. Couldn't you have taken me and spared her?"
became infuriated as the Being still did not respond and begged, "Answer me, please!"
The person was not human, but yet it carried itself in the same manner. I couldn't quite figure out what it was. The Being wore a long cloak of black, which swathed the entire body. The hood of the cloak covered its face, preventing me from seeing it. It began to take measured steps toward me. I backed up until I was next to the bed. I would not let this thing harm Lara's corpse. She was dead and no one would hurt her as long as I was alive. The Creature walked past me to where Lara was lying. A strong hand extended from the sleeve of the cloak and gently traced the line along Lara's throat. I gasped and went to stop the person. He raised his other hand and I my body flew back, my head hitting against the wall. I slid to the floor, unconscious.
I still don't know what really happened after that, I have tried to remember so many times. I remember waking up though and the sunshine pouring through the window. I looked toward the bed and noticed that Lara's body was no longer there. I lay down on the bed, buried my face in her pillow trying to inhale her scent, and began to cry. I knew I would never see her again. She was gone forever from my life; I knew that now. I don't remember how long I lay there, it could have been minutes, or weeks, nothing mattered anyway. Lara was gone. No more would I wake to see her smiling face, or hear her laughing or singing while vacuuming the house. There would never be any children, no grandchildren. No Christmases or Thanksgivings with annoying, yet loved, family members.
As I lay there crying, I felt a hand touch my hair, pushing it out of my face. I looked through my tears trying to perceive what was before me. There was Lara smiling at me. Her hair was the way it had been when she was alive, the most brilliant chestnut color with waves that surrounded her beautiful face. I knew I had to be dreaming, that thing, whatever it was, had carried off Lara’s body. I reached for her face, anticipating that it would disappear just as I would touch it. My hand didn't touch air, but skin, Lara's smooth freckled skin. I began to sob again at the continual cruelty of that creature tormenting me this way.
The mirage of Lara said to me then, "James. James it's me. I'm here, nothing has happened to me. I'm okay." She smiled so sweetly at me and I thought that this wasn't Lara, but an angel.
I begged with it, "Please bring my wife back, please."
"James, it's me. I am here. Oh honey, what has happened?"
I looked at this person before me and realized that it was Lara, she was right in front of me and she wasn't dead. I became frightened by this and drew back from her.
Lara looked at me puzzled, "What is it? What's wrong, Hun?"
I reached for her face, holding it between my hands and rubbed her cheeks with my thumbs. She was really there. I ran my hand down to her throat and noticed there was a faint pink line along where her throat had been slit.
Lara looked at me sadly and whispered quietly, "I know. It was no dream."
I reached again for her and raised myself to my elbows and kissed her gently on her pink lips; they reminded me so much of raised petals. I held her tightly in my arms, holding her close to me. I remembered that I was so afraid to let her go, I thought if I did she would disappear from me. Slowly I began to realize that Lara was really there, she was alive.
I asked her quickly, "But, but how? How are you alive? I found you in the woods and your throat was slit and I carried you back to the house and then the cloaked figure came and, and..."
Lara raised her finger to my lips, silencing me with her touch. "It doesn't matter anymore, I am here. We're both alive and together. Everything that happened wasn't a dream."
I looked at her tears streaming down both our cheeks, and she continued, "I was dead but I didn't die. I was in some place with a horrible thing. It, it wouldn't let me wake up and tell you I was alive. I don't even remember everything that happened. There was a bright light though and someone was standing over me, tracing a line along my throat. I tried to scream but I couldn't. Then the figure disappeared."
I realized that Lara was telling the truth; she had no reason to lie. We knew that there was no explanation. That if we had decided to tell anyone they would think we were insane. Something or someone had disrupted our lives. Both of us had been "touched" by something. Our lives had been altered in their course. Neither one of us knew how, we were only happy that we were alive and together.
Even to this day Lara and I still wonder, what exactly it was that happened in those two days. We will never know, but we do know now that we have been given a precious gift. That of life. We have lived our lives to the fullest. Many Christmases and Thanksgivings, celebrated with our four children and five beautiful grandchildren.
Lara still has a light scar on her throat and my palm is still scared from when I burned my hand on the doorknob that night. Neither one of us mind though, our scars serve as a reminder as to how close we came to losing each other.

The End


Friday, October 24

Fall Fridays ~ A Short Story



Dust was everywhere… “No wonder she always does such a poor job of cleaning other people’s homes, she can’t even take care of her own!” Tomasina Finkle stood in the doorway of her maid’s home, clutching her coat to her as if in fear of it being pulled off her by the dirt and grime that seemed to be ubiquitous.

Trudy Gallagher had been the Finkle’s maid for almost 37 years; working in their house since she was 11 years old, when her mother had died. Trudy was forced to work, while her father mourned her mother’s death, finding his form of consolation in the bottom of brown paper bag. It had been left to Trudy to see that her younger brother was taken care of and that required money.
Tomasina cared little for the woes of her maid’s hard life. Her only concern was why the dreadful girl hadn’t been around to clean in over a week. Tomasina Finkle would not stand for that kind of disrespect and was determined to find out what Trudy’s pathetic excuse was.
Tip toeing around the house Tomasina paid little attention to the old family photos, hung on the wall and faded from time. She ignored the smell of mildew that permeated the air. She was more concerned with the state of her maid’s house than the fact that her servant was human. The maid’s life was, of course, no business of her’s, until it got in the way of Trudy’s responsibilities to Tomasina Finkle.
Tomasina carefully walked down the hallway and to her left noticed a door slightly ajar and a weak light shining from underneath it. “Now I’ve found you”, Tomasina thought to herself, “caught in the act.” Slowly she opened the door toward her, being careful not to be seen by her unsuspecting maid. Tomasina had a glint of sheer delight in her eye at the possible chance of catching Trudy lazing about.
Once the door was open wide enough for Tomasina to slip through it, she stepped full in to the dim light and stepped down silently on to the first of the stone steps, grinning ear to ear. One the landing she peered down in to the basement, her eyes adjusting. Tomasina’s hand flew to her mouth, pathetically attempting to stifle her scream. Turning back toward the door she tripped on the first step, grasping for the railing and pulled herself up the stairs.
Tomasina raced out of the house, no longer paying attention to its dust and clutter. Once outside her maid’s house Tomasina quickly walked to her waiting car and got in, looking all about wondering if anyone had seen her.
The house wife next door to Trudy’s had seen Tomasina Finkle running from the maid’s house and had heard a scream. Quickly she walked to her own hallway and picked up the received, “Yes, officer, I want to make a report. I believe there’s been a murder.”
Tomasina Finkle drew herself a bath and tried to boil what she had seen out of her mind. The image of Trudy Gallagher lying dead, in a pool of blood, at the bottom of the basement stairs was bothering her more than she believed it should. After a good, long soak Tomasina was once again ready to face reality: her maid was dead and she must find a new one.
There was a sharp rap at the door while Tomasina thumbed through the telephone directory searching for a new house cleaner. “Ma’am, there are two officers here to see you”, the Finkle’s butler mumbled.
“What?” Tomasina thought to herself, they must be here to ask when I had last seen Trudy. “Well, let them in you blithering fool.” The butler bowed slightly and quickly shuffled out of the room.
The shorter of the two policemen introduced them, “Mrs. Finkle, I’m Officer Offaly and this is my partner, Officer Cummins. We’re here to ask you about Trudy Gallagher, she is your maid isn’t she?”
“Yes, she was my maid”, Tomasina said in her most condescending tone. She was rather annoyed that these two men walked in to her house and were more concerned about her maid than her.
“Why do you say was your maid?” Officer Cummins asked.
“She hasn’t graced us with her presence for nearly a week now. I was actually looking in the directory for a new housekeeper when you fine gentleman had arrived.”
“Well, Mrs. Finkle, Miss Gallagher hasn’t been her because she was dead. There was an incident reported this afternoon by a neighbor, and Miss Gallagher was found dead at the bottom of the basement steps. Do you happen to know anything about her death?”
“No, no of course not”, Tomasina was becoming more and more annoyed with these two officers; did they believe that she had something to do with Trudy’s death?
“Well, Mrs. Finkle,” the taller of the two started, “we have a witness who says they saw you exiting the Gallagher home shortly after they had heard a scream.”
“I cannot believe this! How dare you accuse me of such a thing? Get out of my house immediately!” Tomasina railed at the two officers, genuinely shocked that they even could consider someone of her high standing could stoop low enough to murder a maid, “My lawyers will be in touch with you.”
“Mrs. Finkle, your lawyer has already been notified and will be meeting you at the court house: We have a warrant for your arrest for the murder of Trudy Gallagher.”
“What? This is preposterous!” The larger of the two officers stepped toward Tomasina, handcuffs at the ready. “I refuse to be led out of my home as if I were a common criminal!” The officer took a step back and motioned for her to walk before him. Tomasina Finkle, lady of the house, stepped gingerly past him and then, recollecting who she was, stormed past the officer and walked out of the house, and for good measure, slammed the door behind her. The two officers looked at each other and shrugged.
The ride to the courthouse was the longest of Tomasina’s life. She was used to being chauffeured, but never in a police car, with its plastic seats and untinted glass. Once they arrived, the shorter of the officers walked to Tomasina’s door and opened it for her. In a moment of a mental lapse, Tomasina held out her hand waiting for the officer to help her from the car, remembering herself, Tomasina crept out of the car, checking to see if there were people about and stormed in to the courthouse.
“This is an outrage” She clamored once in to the building, Tomasina marched straight for her lawyer, “and it is ridiculous! Don’t they know who I am? They can’t do this to me!”
“Actually, Mrs. Finkle, they can, there is enough supporting evidence that you are a viable suspect in the murder of Trudy Gallagher.”
Tomasina Finkle, for the first time in her life, stood with her mouth open and no words spewing out. Slowly her mouth began to move again, in pantomime of speaking, but nothing could be heard. She had never thought, in a thousand years, that she of all people would be considered a “viable suspect” in the murder of her maid.
“Mrs. Finkle, I’ve posted bail for you, but there will be a hearing at the end of the week. The police have a few questions for you, before you can go back home.” Tomasina just starred in shock, sitting through her interrogation, answering all the questions put to her. She knew what she was saying was the truth, but she could see that no one believed a word she was saying. At the end of a torrent of questions Tomasina was allowed to go home, where she stayed until the hearing for the murder of her maid, Trudy Gallagher.
Friday morning came and much to Tomasina’s dismay the past few days of her life were not a dream. The courtroom filled with all those who had known the Finkles, and their despicable reputation of seeing all others as base and insignificant. Judge Valdren entered and took his seat, quite surprised that this hearing entailed Mrs. Tomasina Finkle. “What on earth could this woman have done?” The Judge thought to himself.
Tomasina was once again questioned, her reputation dragged through the mud, in front of everyone, seemingly solely for their entertainment. Witnesses were called forth and questions answered. As the time wore on it became increasingly obvious that Mrs. Tomasina Finkle could not be troubled with the miniscule lives of her servants, let alone interested enough to have a hand in their murder.
Mrs. Finkle’s repute for being less than concerned with her servants and their welfare, resulted in her being removed from the list of suspects. However, there were no other people that could have been the murderer of Trudy Gallagher. Mrs. Finkle had no motives at all to murder her maid; she could never have been bothered with it. Tomasina was free to go with nothing more than a muddied reputation.
In the very last row of the courtroom sits an unassuming man, with nothing memorable about him; just a glint, a darkening of his eyes as the “not guilty” Tomasina Finkle marched victoriously toward the door. No one would ever expect her to recognize her own butler.

Friday, October 17

Fall Fridays ~ "From the Orchard to the Oven: The Pie in American Culture"

For this Friday's "Fall Friday" I decided to share the article I had written and submitted to Better Homes and Gardens (it wasn't published in their pie issue). Enjoy!

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From the Orchard to the Oven: The Pie in American Society
by Jessica White

For centuries we, as Americans, have been filled with and by the wonder of pie. To many it is not just a dessert, but an enduring symbol of home, of America. Pies permeate every aspect of our lives: we sing about pies, watch movies in which a pie becomes a central character, and we enjoy eating them whenever possible. Whole contests are dedicated to their singular deliciousness: Whether it be baking them or eating them.

A pie is an entity unto itself, secure in its position in America: It is threatened by no other dessert. A pie is more than just a yummy treat reserved for Autumn and Thanksgiving, after the fruit has been harvested. Pies are the epitome of the old cliché: “a labor of love”. From start to finish they require the continual scrutiny of its creator, demanding attention to each minute detail.

For any pie it is the crust that is the foundation; it alone will determine whether a pie succeeds or fails. The creation of a piecrust can only be mastered if the baker puts all of their attention into their dough and its every “need”: too much flour and it will crumble, too much water and it will stick, too much handling and it will never become a crust. Whether the crust is homemade or not, the baker is always conscious of the necessity for the perfect crust.

Fruit for a pie must be carefully picked, each piece gingerly removed from its lifeline and tenderly placed in a basket. Then there is the preparation: cleaning and slicing each piece of fruit, folding in the perfect ratios of spices and sugars, imperative to the successful flavor of each pie: Until it is perfectly nestled into the crust.

When all of this is said and done the power of pie still does not come to fruition until the sweet aromas of baking fruit, sugar, and crust, begin to permeate throughout the home. This euphoric sinus experience is so profound, holds so many memories and emotions, that candle and air freshener companies alike have attempted to replicate the singular gloriousness of a pie baking. All have succeeded at falling short of its glory.

Pies are more than just a wonderful dessert. We each have our own special collection of images and sensory experiences that come to mind when we smell, taste, or even think of pie. It is because of all the effort and love that goes in to each slice that people are reminded of warmth and home. That place in which we can find comfort and love: Every element that pie invokes in each person.

A pie is symbolic of love. Each one meticulously crafted by hand; one certainly does not go about its creation without some intentions of affection and thoughtfulness. It is the pie that most commonly graces the threshold of a new neighbor, welcoming them into a community. It is the pie that is most commonly served in the diners of small-town America.

While some may see it as silly to say that pies are representative of Americans, there is a reason for the phrase “As American as apple pie”. It has nothing to do with whether or not we “invented” pies, it is seems to have everything to do with how pies embody the spirit of America: All of its labors and looks.

Pies are not anything extravagant, they are nothing fancy to look at. They won’t collapse or fail to rise; they aren’t a sugary confection that must be handled with delicacy. Americans are hearty people, people who can weather any phenomenon and still stand strong. Like a pie there is nothing exaggerated about our demeanor or persona, it is what is inside of us that make us what we are: strong, hearty, and hard working.

Pies in all their simplicity are representative of an entire country, our homes, and the hard work and determination of a sole being. They are as varied as the people of this great country: Each bringing their own flavors and colors. Pies will last, not because they are fancy and extraordinary; they will last because they are “plain and simple”. Because of all that they bring to mind and represent. Pies are the emblem of America, her citizens, and its culture: Pies are not something to be taken lightly.

Friday, October 10

Fall Fridays ~ Short Story

For this week I decided to post a short-story that I wrote in high school. I actually won first place in a regional contest for this story. Enjoy!

A dark night, along time ago, there was an old woman. The woman lived alone, deep in the forest, with her dog, Harold.

Every year in the spring, the woman planted squash and pumpkins in her garden which was guarded by a scarecrow. When fall came, she harvested her crop, and then cut up all of the squash and pumpkins for pies and cakes. This year though, she made a spooky jack-o-lantern to put on her porch.

One night when the woman was asleep in bed she heard a scratching against the side of her house and then a raspy, inaudible voice. The woman ignored it and fell back asleep.

The next morning when the woman went out to her garden she felt like she was being watched. All that day she felt that something was wrong.

That night just before she went to bed she let Harold outside. She closed the door and then heard him barking. She reopened the door and went out on the porch. The barking suddenly stopped. She called Harold but he didn't come.

All of a sudden the jack-o-lantern lit up, the pumpkin turned around and looked at her. The woman was frozen stiff. Suddenly the pumpkin began to rise and the woman realized the body was that of her scarecrow.

The woman stepped towards the door, realizing that it had latched behind her, she screamed, the scarecrow coming closer.

The jack-0-lantern said in a raspy voice, "You killed them! YOU!"

Those screams were the last ever heard from the old woman.

Thursday, May 29

"Upset by lack of flags"

The local newspaper printed my editorial: YAY! 1) For that fact that they deemed it important enough to print, and 2) Because I'm in the newspaper! Matt walked around for a good 10 minutes after reading it, chanting: "My baby's published, oh yeah, my baby's published" (goof-ball).

Here's the article:
Driving across town on Sunday, something struck me as rather dull about downtown OUR TOWN . Then I realized what was missing: There were no American flags lining the streets. I couldn’t believe it. I figured that surely they would be up for the Memorial Day Parade on Monday, but as of Monday they still were not out.

I would like to thank the residents and business owners of OUR TOWN who saw fit to fly our national flag this past Memorial Day weekend: You are truly an asset to the community. Shame on those of the village/town who were responsible for hanging flags along the main streets of OUR TOWN and did not.

It is disgraceful that the American flag was not flown from any lamppost along Delaware Street or on the bridge. Through out the village there were only a handful of homes that were flying the American flag: The surrounding towns were flying the American colors all through the holiday weekend.

Memorial Day is a time at which we are to remember those who have died for our country so that others may live free. We are at war, however unpopular it may be, and American troops are risking their lives on a daily basis. Right now it is even more important to remember those brave men and women, today and throughout history, who have given their lives and those who are still risking their lives. The least that we can do is proudly fly our flags for them.

If we need new flags, I am sure that the people of Walton would be willing to make donations towards them. I can only hope that whatever the cause was for the oversight of hanging the American flags throughout our town, that it can be remedied before the Fourth of July.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Thursday, May 22

And so it begins....(Part 3)

Part 3
3) Do you realize how much of what we pay for a gallon of gas is taxes?

Our forefathers revolted over taxes of a few pennies, on only a few items, and the taxes only affected a small portion of the population. And thus begun the rumblings of the American Revolution (yes, I’m over simplifying). People write whole books on this subject.

Today we pay taxes on EVERYTHING! Sometimes we pay taxes several times over: for example, we pay income tax, and then every time we buy something (with the money we've already paid taxes on) we pay tax again.

We are represented in our government (big point of the Revolution); we are represented by people who have the large corporations lining their pockets: People who have no idea what “reality” is because they have expense accounts: People who don’t know what it’s like to look at their kids and wonder if they’ll have to fore-go new sneakers because they have to heat the house. Essentially…the elite.

This is where it gets sad: There will NEVER be another revolution in our country, and we are desperately in need of one. We have too many social programs, too many people who are living off the system, too many taxes. The American people have grown FAT with GREED, LAZY, and COMPLACENT! The majority think that everything should be handed to them, that they shouldn’t have to work for what they want. The majority are so obsessed with the celebrity culture (I do read US and People) that they are oblivious to the things happening in this country. And what’s sad is they don’t care.

Next February there is a federal “coupon” going out to help people afford to upgrade their televisions to digital, so that they can continue receiving television. Why is our government FUNDING a television upgrade?! Where does it say Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Prime-time?!

Our media is biased, bought off by different groups of people. The news we receive is filtered or we don’t receive it at all. Britney’s frolic on the beach at Mel Gibson’s is considered headline, breaking news!

None of these problems are a recent development; we can look back to FDR, the “Roaring Twenties” and the Depression for the beginning of these problems. FDR created federal programs to help the struggling Americans get back on their feet. Seventy years later we have even more of those programs and there is not one that is not abused by someone.

Why should someone get a job if the government is going to pay for their food and shelter? Heck, why should someone be an American citizen even when the government is willing to cut them a check. The abuses in this country of the welfare system are disgusting. Thirty years ago people thought it was a disgrace to go on welfare. Now people try to think of ways they can take advantage of the system.

I’m all for helping someone when they’re down, that’s part of what makes America great, helping one another. But when someone refuses to better themselves because they’re getting it for nothing, it’s time to cut them off: “You gotta get off your ass, to get back on your feet” (bumper sticker I saw). Seventy years ago people started getting things handed to them for nothing; many appreciated it and paid it back. I digress (the welfare system could be a whole ‘nother topic).

Since its inception welfare has gone down hill. We’re now a society that thinks that everything should be handed to us. We’re all about ME! No one cares about anyone else, it’s all “what can you do for me?”. These masses don’t care what happens to this once great country. They don’t care that our jobs are being outsourced and that immigration is out of control and bleeding our coiffers. The people who are taking advantage of our country, of the hard-working, average American, are not going to bite the hand that feeds them.

Very few people are thinking about how our economy, our dollar, and social security are going downhill. Those who are thinking about these things and calling the US Government out on them are considered extremists and fanatics, and are being ignored by the general populous.

We've allowed our government to become so powerful, that the power doesn't rest with the people anymore. The power rests with a few. The ones who control the strings. It's all just one big puppet show. Vote? Why? They've already decided on the next president. The electoral college is politicians: Do we honestly believe that they'll rule with the popular vote? They'll rule with who is lining the pockets.

Even if a vast majority of the population wanted to revolt we couldn’t. The government would quickly squash any attempts of rebellion: The military isn’t what it was 232 years ago.
Before the first assembly could happen we'd be buried under bureaucracy. We would be told we had to file for permits and pay a fee, name the intentions of our business etc etc. Or, no one would show, because they figure someone else will go, and reruns of "Grey's Anatomy" are on.

The first people to rebel will be the truckers and the small business owners. The first step toward a successful revolution is a trucker strike. It would be amazing to see how quickly things change when the trucks stop moving and the grocery store shelves are bare. For the sake of all of us, and our wallets, it is what needs to happen.

We need to bring the government to its knees and fix all of these problems and programs. Our government has done an excellent job of keeping us oblivious, while they go about doing whatever it is they want to do. It has become exactly that which Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Patrick Henry, Benjamin Franklin, and John Adams all fought against. And WE THE PEOPLE allowed it.

We just keep following blindly along, “just don’t take away my TV and I’m happy”. It’s sick! It's sad, because this country is on the way down the crapper and we desperately need a change.

Monday, April 28

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart." ~William Wordsworth

I need good vibes and prayers!

While I was perusing my latest copy of Better Homes and Gardens I found a little blurb at the bottom corner of a page. It announced the request for any and all recipes for pies, for a special piece they'll be doing in the Fall.

When I was in college we were assigned a paper, in which we were to chose an article we liked and emulate the style etc: I chose an article from BHG. The title of my article was "From the Orchard to the Oven: The Pie in American society".

I've said it before that I would love to get at least one of my articles published, and to be in BHG would be a dream come true: Beyond a dream, I would be floating on cloud 9 for weeks. I know the blurb requested recipes and made no mention of articles, but I figure what do I have to lose: A few hours of editing and a stamp? It would be well worth it to see my name in the by-lines of BHG.

I only have a day to get it rewritten and ready to mail out: They have to be mailed by May 1st.

Wish me luck and say a prayer for me :-)

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