Toilet Time!

Potty training was one of those things that I absolutely dreaded. I’m not even sure why; I think it was this idea of a battle of the wills over using the toilet, and somehow my kids being in their teens and still wearing diapers. I’m not sure what, but it was something I dreaded.

We tried with Ave on occasion, before she was 2, but she was not interested. Every once in a while we’d see if she was interested, but she wasn’t. During the summer we decided to go sans-diaper for swimming lessons, and had no incidents of pool sharks. Then she started refusing to wear a diaper when I put her down for a nap….with no incidents. Then she started refusing to put a diaper on after the nap….with no incidents. By August, she was flat out refusing to ever put a diaper on, except at night time. And was having absolutely no accidents…even on a long car drive.

Within 2 weeks of all this we decided that we could officially claim she was potty trained, besides that one incident of her pooping in the backyard while she was outside playing (haha…it just didn’t look like the dogs’).

We had one poop incident in the fall, that I think was brought on by her cousin having an accident {I think she wanted to see how I would react}. She freaked after she did it, because the poop was all over her backside. I just reiterated that that’s why we use the potty and not our undies…and then laughed at how upset and disgusted she was by having pooped in her undies {not in her presence of course}.

At Christmas she decided that she didn’t want to wear a diaper at bed time. So I woke up every few hours to make sure that she got out of bed and went potty. Then she got sick and I insisted that she wear a diaper at night, because she needed to sleep and I was getting a bit tired of getting up several times a night, even when the babies didn’t need me.

I can now tell you that Avelyn has been entirely diaper free for almost 3 weeks…there was 1 incident, but it was my fault {I usually wake her at 10:30 or so and kept reading until I heard her crying at 11:15, that she’d wet the bed}. There hasn’t been an incident since. We’ve even decreased the number of times we get her out of bed. We were doing it twice {10:30 and 3:30 or so} and now it’s only at 10:30 and she’s doing great.

So what’s the secret to potty training?

They’ll do it when their ready: No pressure. There is absolutely no point in forcing the kid to do it. It’s just going to be traumatic for them and you. And it’s all the more better if you can make it easier for them to do on their own. Summer works for us, because Ave is usually wearing a dress, which makes it very easy for her to go in the bathroom on her own and go. I honestly never even need to ask her anymore if she needs to go potty, she just does it when she needs to.

As for how to potty train triplets….that’s going to be another story, but we’ll probably take the same approach. But, for now, we only have 3 in diapers.

Thirteen Years

Thirteen years ago today, this guy and I went on our first date, my first-ever date, to see Mission to Mars. We even held hands…after half the movie spent with our arms awkwardly on the arm rests, just in case the other was willing to go first. Once safely deposited back in my parents driveway, we made it official….and were boyfriend and girlfriend.

I expected it to last a few weeks before this guy realized I was my own brand of Crazy and went running for the hills…..

Thirteen years later, I’m still waiting for that.

Thirteen years ago, if you had told me all that the past thirteen years would have entailed I know I wouldn’t have  believe you, but I’m not sure if I would have laughed, cried, denied it or went running, in the opposite direction.

As you can imagine 5 1/2 years of dating, while living 300 miles apart for 8 months out of the year, with 2 months out of the year being without communication with each other, isn’t for the faint of heart. Particularly after you throw in some good family/sibling dramas.

Top it off with a fun filled wedding, a dash of house renovations, a good dollop of major back issues {resulting in Matt not being able to work or move from our couch for over a year, and seeing a variety of doctors throughout the North East for two years, before we had a solution}, add in a hefty helping of infertility, resulting in 2 pregnancies and 4 children…and that’s been our life together for the past 13 years.

That said. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It has been an incredible ride and I honestly can’t wait to see what the next 13 years bring, because if nothing else God has shown up every single time, every single day.

What makes us work? {Besides God} We’re both stubborn and flat out REFUSE to quit. While other couples were constantly taking a break and getting back together, we both agreed if that was the case, we were done. If it wasn’t working, then it wasn’t ever going to work. But we do, work….it is a lot of work, our friendship, our marriage, our kids, our house, our life…it’s all work, but we work well together.

And, yea, I would NEVER have believed any of it, the crazy that is my-life-in-the-White-house, but it has been SO, SO worth it.

March comes in like a lion, and goes out like a lamb

In my experience, it’s usually the reverse that’s true. March teases us, letting us think that maybe, just maybe spring is around the corner…and then lambasts us with snow and horrible weather as the month wears on.

Last week (March 10th) we were outside for most of the afternoon, inspecting the “grounds” to see how things were coming along and what needed to be done, now that the nicer weather was coming.

The bees were out, the dilly-daffols were beginning to poke up their heads, the sun was shining and the weather was beautiful.

A couple days later it was gray and rainy, everything turning to icky-sticky mud.

If my Oma were still alive, she would be freaking out over this child not only playing, but sitting in the mud :-)

And this is what it looks like outside, right now….

Yea….more snow. We’re supposed to be getting another 5-9”.

Parenting {Out of Fear}

I am very close to being at my wits-end, particularly with dear Miss Avelyn. I feel as though I am failing her miserably as a parent, and she’s only 3. I feel as though I am constantly after her to be respectful and kind, to not be hurtful to her brothers and sister. {We have 3 simple rules: No Disrespect. No Disobedience. No Dishonesty.}

I don’t think there is a day that goes by that I have not had to somehow reprimand her at least a half-dozen times for pushing, kicking, or hitting one of her brothers or sister. {I will say, in her defense, that her actions are at least not full force and she does show some restraint}.

She has now taken to sticking out her tongue at me or blowing raspberries, when being disciplined, as well as completely ignoring anything being said to her, laughing and changing the subject. I will admit that I am not always diligent or consistent in my responses to her behavior.

This evening was hell.

The babies {I really need to think of something else to call them}, had not napped this afternoon and were very clingy and demanding, and Avelyn was feeding off of that and being very whingey and whiney herself. She kept standing on the couch, which she has been told not to do…since James then climbs up there and does the same thing, and I kept removing her {and James} and repeating that we don’t climb on the couch. For the second time today she proceeded to stick her tongue out at me, at which point I marched her in the bathroom and brushed her teeth with soap {bad mom I know*}, after she had been warned, timed-out, and otherwise disciplined {no more TV etc}. Fat-lot of good it did.

Twenty minutes later I was on the phone with my mom {exasperated}, watching the kids, Avelyn and James were again on the couch. She then proceeded to box him about his ears and then kick him in the face. At this point I about exploded. I immediately hung up, picked her up without a word and deposited her in her bedroom and shut the door. James was fine.

After 15 minutes I had calmed down enough to get her. I {once again} explained to her that we do not blah blah blah blah blah. She was as meek as a kitten, came down to dinner, ate all of her meat, and was very quiet and polite.

She got a quick bath, the babies were put to bed, and Matt and I sat down to talk with her about her behavior and how it is not acceptable. Explaining that she must be kind and obedient, that it is what God asks of her, and how sad it makes Him, as well as us, when she is mean and rude. We informed her that she would only be getting a bible story at bedtime, and that this behavior will not be tolerated. I said her prayers with her, asking God to help her. Then I asked her for forgiveness for my disciplining her out of anger rather than love and God’s grace. And we closed in prayer.

I came downstairs utterly exhausted.

Neither Matt nor I have any idea whatsoever about what to do.

My mom had said something about Avelyn needing to submit/report to a higher authority than us, but how:
How does one make God REAL for a 3?!

How does one take the abstraction of God and make it something tangible and physical? I really would like to know the answer, because I am at a loss. An absolute loss.

We discuss God and Jesus, what their desires are for us and our life. We read the bible. We memorize verses. We pray together. We go to church. But how does all this “doing” translate to something real for a child? To something more than just memorization and stories?

I’ve so often heard that we should not DO out of fear, but sometimes I feel that is exactly what I am doing…parenting out of fear. Fear of my children become those teens that no one can tolerate. Fear of their leading selfish, malicious lives. Fear of their complete dismissal of God. Fear of their being a life long heartbreak. Fear of them turning out to be exactly like those that I do not want them to be like.

Last week I had been praying “Lord, help me to be the parent that they need me to be”. Then I thought about something, how vain of myself to think that God needs me to be the parent that they need, to be the men and women that God wants them to be. {Just reread that and think on it for a moment}. God doesn’t need me to do or be anything, BUT then I feel I’ve tossed my hands in the air and can say I have no responsibility to my children, which is utterly untrue.

I do need God to help me. I absolutely do. But I also need to trust that he will take my pitiful parenting attempts, my flaws as not only a mom, but as a human, and somehow, if I trust Him and do my utmost for His highest, He will redeem my parenting, myself, my husband, my children to Him.

Back to Avelyn.

There is something I notice in her, that scares me. She does not fear, not that I want her to fear us, but she has no fear whatsoever. She has no remorse for when she has done wrong. The only thing she has any reaction to is her own pleasures and discomforts.

Timeouts, talks, all of it mean absolutely nothing to her. Yes, she screams and cries  through them and is unhappy, but only because she is not being allowed to continue with whatever it is that she wants to do {ie. watching a show}. She does what you ask of her; apologize, reiterate what you said, etc. But there is no genuine remorse for what she did.

I have no idea if any of this is typical for a 3 year old or not. What I do know is that it scares the living bejeezers out of me, because all I can think about is the 13 year old or 23 year old who is that exact same way. AND, I already see the same defiance in Ellie {I knew there was a reason I wanted all boys …I jest, a little}.

So.

Moms…especially moms of older kids. Please mentor me. Please tell me some pearl of wisdom. Please tell me that there is some way to get through to her. Please tell me what we should do {we are already reading lots of different parenting books}. Please tell me that God will be sufficient in our failures and she will not become the person that I fear she will. Please.

*Disclaimer: This was very hard for me to be this brutally honest with all of you, in my shortcomings and absolute failures as a parent.

In a word…

Very often I've seen people choose a word to inspire them in the new year, something they want to develop in themselves or become more aware of. I've never put much thought into it. Then I found myself continually describing the events of last year as incredible, all..the...time! I may be doing this in reverse.

Incredible: too extraordinary and improbable to be believed {as defined by Merriam-Webster}.
Kind of a lackluster definition.

Over and over again, it is the word I find myself using to describe this past year.

Incredible that we managed to survive a year with a 2 year old and triplets.
Incredible that we managed to afford formula for a year with 3 babies eating it.
Incredible that I didn’t go stark raving mad this past year, being home with so many {demanding} littles.
Incredible that I was able to get away for a few days and attend Allume.
Incredible that I actually managed to get a couple of baby quilts done, as well as other sewing projects.
….and a thousand more.

Extraordinary? Improbable? But isn’t that how our God works? Taking that which man says is impossible and making it possible. The ordinary, becoming extraordinary through His hand: A virgin becoming pregnant, a woman years passed child-bearing having a son, the mouths of lions clamped shut, a boy thrown in a well to die becoming the most powerful man.

His power is glorified best in our weakness. Only when we are weak, incapable and without our own abilities can God’s grace be seen, His power be magnified.

This past year has given me the incredible {there I go again} honor, of not only being mommy to these fantasmagorically awesome children, but more so, having felt His indescribable, and undeserved, GRACE.

Why I think I have it easier than you….

At the beginning of the summer I met with some blogging friends for dinner, and one of them said they loved following my blog because of all the ways in which I do/can help her with her own 3 children, from my experiences. I responded, that no advice I give can help anyone who doesn’t have multiples; which came out sounding rather demeaning and not really very kind {which is not at all how I meant it to sound. Sorry Trina.}

What I meant is this….

Having multiples is entirely different from having singletons {obviously}. There is, of course, the advice that can help any mom, whether with 1 kid or 10, twins, triplets etc, but the rest of it, is so different.

Here’s my opinion…Raising and caring for singletons, no matter how many or few there are, is INFINITELY HARDER than multiples. All of you non-multiples Mamas, you seriously impress me. I honestly don’t know how YOU do what you do.

Yes, I have 4 kids, but 3 of them are at the same stage in life. What other moms deal with for 2-3 years for each child, I deal with for 2-3 years for all 3.

I don’t have to figure out how to entertain a 6 year old, while dealing with a 4 year olds tantrum, while trying to get the 2 year old to sit still on the potty, and simultaneously change the poop-splosion of a infant. That my, friends, takes major talent.


All I have to do is give the 3 year old something to do, then go about changing a succession of diapers.

I don’t have to try and get the 6 year old and 4 year old to walk along with the stroller, without running away, while trying to get the 2 year to stop flipping themselves over the edge, and pray that the infant doesn’t wake up from the much needed nap.

All I have to do is strap 3 babies in a stroller and pay attention to the 3 year old.

I don’t have to try and do math with a 13 year old, while figuring out science for an 11 year old, spelling for a 9 year old and geography with a 7 year old.

All I have to do is have one curriculum for an older kid, while getting a few extra workbooks for the younger ones. And more than likely we’ll probably do them all together.

So, I say it again….SINGLETON PARENTS I COMMEND YOU! YOU ARE MY SUPER-HEROES! YOU ARE THE KINGS AND QUEENS OF MULTI-TASKING!

Someday this may change, my thoughts on having multiples being easier, but for my foreseeable future it looks pretty cushy. {Of course, now that I’ve posted this I’ve probably jinxed myself.}

Life is relative…everything we have or experience seems easier or harder, better or worse, in comparison to those around us, but it is our life that we have been given to live. Comparison will only rob of us, what we have.

What Shoes, Chocolate and “Georgies” Have in Common…

I’ve posted a few times over the year about our German tradition of St. Nicholas Day. This year we incorporated Avelyn giving up her “Georgie” {aka Pacifier}. It’s been 3 days now since she’s had a Georgie: It has not been fun but it hasn’t been as bad as a I thought.

Friday she decided not to nap, yesterday I got her to nap, but I had to sing her to sleep. Last night she was so excited and wound up after Matt’s surprise birthday party {at which she got to see her cousins} it, again, took a while to get to sleep. Tonight it took almost 2 hours to get her to sleep: Books are no longer enough, I have to sing, until she’s asleep, rubbing her head constantly. I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to increase my repertoire of songs.

Interestingly enough she hasn’t asked for her Georgie, she even thanked me on Friday for asking her to give up her Georgie, but I know the reason why she is not falling asleep per usual is not having it. It makes it really easy to give it back to her, but since St. Nicholas took them to the north pole, it’s kind of hard to just get them back.

On to St. Nicholas Day…

Ave was very excited to find a new book, a small bar of German Chocolate {in her shoes}, and everyone got matching pajamas!

What’s the fun of waiting until Christmas and only wearing them for a few days. I think they came out super-cute! Now I just have to finish Mommy and Daddy’s PJs for Christmas morning.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Halloween and a Birthday Party

When one has a child, born mere hours after Halloween, birthday celebrations and Halloween seem to go hand in hand.

Halloween wasn't any big deal around here. Trick or treating had actually been canceled in anticipation of Miss Sandy, but it ended up being nothing here. We got the kids trussed up and headed over to my grandfather's so that he could see the kids.

Friday was the "rain-date" for Halloween, but it ended up being miserable out {chilly and rainy, it was actually nastier than the 31st was}, so the kids never got to go trick or treating; I'm pretty sure they'll live, but I'm not so sure about mommy and daddy.

Saturday we had Little Miss' 3rd Birthday Party. Fortunately I had decided to keep it small {haha…we had around 20 people} and the menu was all finger food, so there wasn’t much in the way of prep, other than trying to clean our house, which took a ridiculous amount of work.

{Pay no attention to how Ave and I both model our hats}

She got some awesome gifts for her birthday; like, I am seriously jealous of her Schwinn Tricycle. I’m trying to find out why they don’t come in my size.

I’m hoping things are going to settle down a little bit around here, there are so many things I want to share with you and need to write about, but we’ll just have to see what happens.

Avelyn Turns 3!

Yea. Not sure about this :-P

A little bit about Avie, at the ripe old age of 3:
*Can this girl ever articulate a sentence!
*Been potty trained for a little over 2 months now
*Loves being outside and running around like a crazy kid
*Loves her brothers and sister
*Incredible imagination
*Has no fear of anyone or anything
*Does fantastic accents
*Loves to sit and be read to or read to her brothers and sister
*Pushes and pushes and pushes boundaries, sometimes it’s exhausting
*Can count to 10, to 20 goes more like 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 13 16 19 20
*Can say her Alphabet, but L M N O P comes out kind of funny sounding; able to pick out some letters
*Figuring out some of her colors and shapes
*Is able to pick out her own clothes and get dressed, even her socks and some shoes
*Loves painting and coloring
*Knows how to use the iPad better than I do
*Wearing a size 3T in clothes and size 9 in shoes
*Still napping once a day, between 1.5-3 hours {She does sometimes not take a nap, but most days she does}
*Loves playing make believe

I found a list of questions to ask at each birthday. Here they are:
1. What is your favorite color? Pink
2. What is your favorite toy? The TV
3. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries
4. What is your favorite TV show? Theo
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese Sandwich
6. What is your favorite outfit? Princess Ballerina Dress
7. What is your favorite game? Tag
8. What is your favorite snack? Cheese
9. What is your favorite animal? Mrs. Jones’ horses
10. What is your favorite song? Jesus Loves Me
11. What is your favorite book? Golden Book Collection and Eloise Wilkin Collection
12. Who is your best friend? Clare
13. What is your favorite cereal? Rice Crispies
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Swing
15. What is your favorite drink? Farm Fresh
16. What is your favorite holiday? Easter
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night?  Georgie (her pacifier)
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Cereal or Yogurt with Honey
19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Cupcakes
20 What do you want to be when you grow up? A valentiner, you, I don’t know, a mommy… yea, totally random answers

I’m curious to see how she answers these next year, because most of these questions meant absolutely nothing to her :-)

How will I shape my children and their faith?

Other parts from this series, Finding Faith
I. Where do you come from?
II. Do you own your faith?
III. Where is my faith going?
IV. How will I shape my children and their faith?

I touched on this idea a bit in my last post, a very little bit. To me, this is something I pray about more than I do my own faith. This, to me, is the very crux of my existence. How and what will I do that will help my children become the followers of Christ that I long for them to become?

I honestly lay awake at night, sometimes working myself into a frenzy about all the ways I am FAILING miserably in this.
A while back I read a book entitled “When You Rise Up” by RC Sproul, which revolutionized my entire thinking about raising successful children. It redefined, for me, what I think of as “Success”.

I think this is one of the biggest points of contention between Christian parents: Do I raise a child with the idea of making them successful by the world’s standard? or by God’s standard?

But so many parents, myself included, get blinded by raising children that will be successful in the world, with only a passing, secondary thought to their success by God’s standard. Which is more important to me, that they live a God-Glorifying life or one that is successful and self-serving? God-Glorifying absolutely. Hands down. No argument.

But what about their success in the world? They need to be educated, they need to know how to function and operate in this world. Yes, they do. But through living a God-Glorifying life they will be successful and ultimately better able to function in this world.

To the world, my husband and I are not successful people. We scrape by each month, with nothing saved for our retirement. We live in and old house, that is literally falling down around us {our back foundation is crumbling under a poorly constructed addition}. Our cars are not fancy. Our clothes are not designer. We are that family that others look at and think, “Sheesh, and they have HOW MANY kids?!”

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”
~Matthew 6:26

Now, I’m not saying we’re successful by God’s standards, we fail miserably at living a life that glorifies Him. BUT we seek to trust Him. We seek HIM. We know that He will take care of us and provide for us, through and in all things. Even when we start to get a bit squeamish about being able to pay the bills.

Honestly, I can’t guarantee that my children will grow to love the Lord as they should, glorifying Him in all things, trusting Him through all things. But, I can start by redefining what I consider to be success, to be most important. We can live in abject fear that if they are not drilled on worldly subjects that they will end up homeless and incapable of providing for themselves and their families. Or we can trust in God’s faithfulness.

Now, does that mean I’m going to let formal education take a back seat, not bothering to educate my children in the subjects of worldly success? No, it doesn’t. In order to glorify God, we must educate ourselves and our children in His word. We have to know how to fight against our enemies, and the way we do that is by knowing our enemies and how and why they do and believe as they do.

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
~Deuteronomy 6:6-7

So what exactly are we DOING then?

Right now, we’re memorizing bible verses, we’re reading the bible together, we’re reading bible verses, we sing songs that praise God, we talk about the things that God wants us to do, what things we can do for others to show them God, we spend time together, as a family, praying and worshiping {it is for this reason that my children won’t attend a Sunday school class that takes place during worship}.

We have begun doing the little things, which will, prayfully, turn into the big things. And even at these things we fail miserably, but that’s where trusting Him comes in. Even if we don’t do these things all the time, we are trusting that the time that we do spend in these things to Him.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this little series of mine. That it has, in some way encouraged you as well as made you think. I’m sure there will be more to this someday, but for now I rest all of these words in His hands, to do with as He pleases.
Amen.

July Ketchup!

As the babies are getting older I'm finding less and less time to get things done. For some reason they expect me to entertain them when they're awake, and don't find naps to be as appealing as they once did...go figure.

Swimming Lessons

Ave started swimming lessons at the beginning of the summer. The kid loves the water. They actually wanted to bump her up to the next level after the first session, but I don't think she listens well enough to do that.

Henry, James and Ellie started swimming lessons in the middle of July. We had taken them once before lessons started to see how they did. They all liked it, except for when it was a bit chilly.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 

Starting Solids

We've been delaying this one until we have a table big enough to fit all of us around. Also, they babies haven't really seemed too interested, until the past week or so.

James is ravenous and can eat about a 1/2 cup of cereal on his own, Henry is interested but doesn't care for it (he does this lovely gagging thing), and Ellie is kind of interested but not really (but she's also the more delayed of the three).

I just ordered some vegetables, so this weekend we'll start with them, but I think the boys will be eating more solids and less bottles really soon.

A Girl and A Horse

I love horses. I’ve always loved horses. My dream of having my own horse is probably not going to die-out any time soon.

I think this equine-love is hereditary; my mom loves horses and now my daughter loves horses.

During the summer I can sit on my back deck and not only hear horses, but I can see them…galloping around their paddock, playing until their hearts content. I am blessed. Our neighbors have horses, during the winter they’re stabled elsewhere, but for a few brief months in summer we get to enjoy them.

The other night Avelyn was given the privilege of getting to ride one of the horses: One of the perks of being friends with the owners. Ave has only ever ridden one of the little ponies at the fair. She was in awe of this creature, vastly taller than her.

  

She strapped on her helmet, bustled up her dress and swung into the saddle, riding off into the sunset.
Down the cow path to the field and back. A different little girl got off that horse. One who will forever be smitten.

No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle.  ~Winston Churchill

Just like her Mama.

“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace.”

You can find this post on my new blog JessicaMWhite.com, click HERE.

A Body Worth Loving

You can find this post on my new site at JessicaMWhite.com

Routines in the White House {Part 1} Bed Time

You can find this post on my new site, JessicaMWhite.com: Click HERE.

W.I.R. {Weekend in Review}

First off I would really like to take this moment to push my agenda to move to a 5 day weekend and 2 day work week. I think we would all be much happier :-P Moving on…..
Our weekend was crazy-busy! Saturday morning Ave went with Matt’s mom to a street fair hosted by one of the churches in town. She came home quite exhausted, smelling deliciously of sweat and sun: Of to bed she went for a good 3 hour nap (yay!). Matt worked  on the fence all day. He was down to the gates and he managed to get the main one done (yay!); it looks great and now I don’t have to worry about kids escaping!
My mom came down so that we could take advantage of my dad’s Father’s Day gift (an ice cream maker). She and I made a batch of Fresh Strawberry Ice Cream, using coconut milk, honey, strawberries, and heavy cream…delish! We had that for dessert yesterday, which everyone loved.
Saturday evening was the {First Ever} Homeschool Prom! I think it was my sister and her friends that initiated the whole thing. They did a great job! The kids organized and planned the entire thing themselves. What kid doesn’t like the chance to get dressed up fancy, with their friends, and dance for a few hours? I don’t know too many…even most guys like the chance to get dressed up.

View Full Album

I’m trying something new with the album thing…bear with me :-)
Matt and I didn’t get to bed until after midnight on Saturday, because I decided to go up and see the last little while of their prom and Matt stayed up until I got home (which he never does!).

Sunday morning the kids slept in a little bit (‘til around 7 or so, with a 5am feed). We got up and let Daddy sleep until almost 9am, when we brought him breakfast in bed! Nothing fancy: Scrambled eggs, coffee, bacon, fresh biscuits, and a cinnamon bun (which I made a batch of these a few weeks ago and put in the freezer). I think he was pleased. Then out he went to finish the other gate on the fence.

 

Then in the afternoon all our families came over for a BBQ, which was really nice, since every one brought something: My dad did ribs on the grill, Matt’s mom made corn pudding, his sister and our future brother in law brought bread, and my aunt made salad. All I had to do was make the potatoes and provide the dishes.

In the evening it was just us, which was nice. Matt was able to just enjoy some quiet time with the kids.

(Notice Matt’s new shirt: It says “Daddy’s Brewing Buddies” with pictures of the kids from the header at the top of my blog. I did that through CafePress.com’s Custom Design)

An Impromptu Nature Study

The other day Ave and I were outside sitting on a blanket reading, when she noticed a little birdie hopping on the ground. She immediately flew into Diego-Rescuer mode and took off after the bird. Once I caught on to what was going on I grabbed her and explained that we don’t go running up to wild animals.





We slowly made our way up to the baby bird, realizing that it couldn’t fly. Ave was very concerned. The bird’s parents were concerned too and started squawking loudly at us.

We left it alone, watching from a distance.

In the afternoon we went back out and it had moved to another part of the yard. At that point I decided to see what we could do. We walked over to our friends’ house (their yard butts up to our’s) and asked them if they had any ideas.

After googling I decided that we’d pick the bird up and put it in a basket in the tree, giving it some worms.

 

Alas, all our efforts were in vain. The temperatures dropped down quite a bit that night, the parents never came for the baby, and it froze to death: Obviously, that’s not what Ave was told.
From the sounds of it there have been quite a few of these little fledglings lying about (Grackle, I believe they’re called).

The other night the dogs were barking to get out. I checked to make sure there were no skunks, then let them out. Immediately they bolted off the deck and the trees in our yard suddenly were shaking like crazy. Our guess is that perhaps there was a raccoon (or something) around and it must’ve gotten into the nest.

Of course, at the time, {I’m not ashamed to admit} I thought perhaps the Apes were taking over or we were being invaded by aliens…since the trees were moving so much and there wasn’t a bit of wind.

The Day on Which All Things End Up Blah!

Growing up I really did not like Mother’s Day, not because I didn’t like my mom {Don’t get me wrong, my mom is the awesomest}, but because we usually ended up in some sort of  trouble. My dad wanted us to behave for my mom’s special day and we always seemed to get in more trouble that day than any other day of the year.

Then there were the years of infertility, which added another crap-tastic element to Mother’s Day; celebrating the one thing that I desperately wanted, but could not have.
In 2010 I celebrated MY first Mother’s Day, which was still sorely tainted {let’s be honest, it still is} by infertility.

Last year Mother’s Day was also my mom’s birthday. In addition to that we had a whole slew of lovely family drama going on.

This year Mother’s Day was the day we were in NH for our nephew’s baptism. We weren’t even home. Matt forgot a card and didn’t even remember it was Mother’s Day until I asked him what the day was. To me, it was one year since the IUI that gave us Henry, James and Ellie, but it jogged Matt’s memory just-enough to remember it was Mother’s Day too.

I won’t deny that it still “pinches” just a bit that I haven’t had a Mother’s Day in which I’ve received a card and/or present on the DAY. Life seems to get in the way and the best of intentions remain that, intentions.

I’m still waiting for it, that perfect “Hallmark” Mother’s Day. I think I may just be waiting forever on that one. I’d love to say that’s OK, but it would be nice, just once. Fortunately, Matt does a pretty fantastic job of letting me know all year that he appreciates me and all that I do.

But, when Ave hugs one of her siblings and says “________ you’re my best friend”, that pretty much makes up for anything :-)


 

My Little Mess

Last night I was lying in bed, having a really hard time falling asleep. I just kept thinking about how we survive the day, every one goes to bed, and then I feel like I’ve spent nothing of quality with any of the kids. I think back about how much time Ave and I spent on the floor in her room, working on getting her to roll; How we would go outside and do things. 

We don’t do things now. We can’t do things now.

I feel like I’m parenting Ave, since she’s the 2 year old who needs constant direction and attention, while just giving Henry, James and Ellie what they need to survive. And at the same time feeling like Ave gets the leftovers of my attention and patience. Vicious cycle!

I do spend time with each of the babies: looking at them, laughing with them, playing with them, but it never feels like what I do is enough. We get to the end of the day and that’s it. I’m so grateful we made it through, then 30 minutes after everyone is in bed, I’m missing them all and wishing I could spend more quality time with them.

It doesn’t seem to matter what I do, but once night comes and the quiet falls on my ears I feel like “I could’ve done more, been more”. In all honesty, I don’t know if I could…there are only so many hours in the day.

I have 4 children, all 4 of which require massive amounts of attention from me, plus a home to run {cleaning, bills, upkeep, etc etc.}

I know this summer is going to be hard. I can already feel it in my bones. I long to be out of doors, to be outside in the sun, working in the dirt, mowing the yard, swimming, running with Ave. All winter it was easy to be in a house with 4 kids, there was nothing else to do.

Now….now there is life to be lived and I know it’s going to be rough.

I just can’t open the back door and let everyone run. I have to orchestra when Ave can go outside, depending on what the babies are doing or needing, whether they’re sleeping or crying. Her play time has to end when someone is fussing and we need to go back inside, even if only for a moment.

Next summer will be different. Henry, James and Elanor will be 1 1/2, Ave will be 3 1/2 and we’ll be able to be outside…they’ll be able to toddle around the yard, go on the slide, play in the dirt alongside me, run around with each other tiring themselves out.

But right now I struggle. I struggle with the fact that we had people here working on the house yesterday and I didn’t want to leave the babies alone in the house, with strangers, while taking Ave in the yard for 15 minutes…so we sat on the couch and watched TV almost ALL.DAY.LONG!

Oh yea…there’s definitely some mommy guilt around here. BUT I know this is just a season {literally}, soon my babies won’t be babies anymore and they’ll be big boys and girl, just like their big sister…and then I’ll be sad.