Don't ignore infertility.
Very often there is a serious medical condition (past or present) that is the cause of infertility. Sometimes it can be resolved with treatment, either through medications or surgeries, other times it cannot and IUIs and IVFs become necessary to have a child. And sometimes, there is no resolution and couples are faced with the choices of surrogacy, gestational carriers, donor gametes, living child-"free", or adoption.
Don't ignore infertility.
The older you get the less chance there is of becoming pregnant. If you're 35 or older and have been trying for 6 months, see a doctor. If you're younger than 35, the recommendation is a year of trying. If you're dealing with painful cycles or other "girlie" issues, there is very often help to deal with that, and in the help there is hope of having a child.
Don't ignore infertility.
Infertility isn't just about not being able to get "knocked up"; it's the inability to have a successful pregnancy as well. For many couples, getting pregnant isn't the issue, staying pregnant is. Sometimes the "fix" is as simple as creating a more favorable environment in the body, other times it's much harder.
Don't ignore infertility.
If someone you know or love has been dealing with infertility lend your quiet support and love. It's hard to know what to say, a shoulder to cry on is enough, knowing that, while others can't and don't understand the pain, they are standing with you. If you don't know what to say, that's ok...it's better than saying "Relax", "It will happen", "It's part of God's plan", "Maybe you weren't meant to be parents", "Perhaps it's for the best"....as well meaning and sometimes true as those statements are they hurt to hear.
Don't ignore infertility.
Infertility doesn't just affect people trying to have their first child, it can strike without warning. Many couples are faced with Secondary Infertility, when they've had a first child with no medical intervention, but, for whatever reason, things don't "work" the second time around. Having a child doesn't preclude the pain and shattered dreams that come with trying for a second or third or more children. We each have our dreams of what our family will be, infertility can smash those dreams, the pain is no less painful after having a child.
Don't ignore infertility.
Most importantly, don't ignore each other. As I said before, infertility effects both people. Some of the hardest years of Matt and my marriage were the years in which we struggled with infertility. Not knowing how or if we would be come parents. What got us through it? Clinging to each other, of not placing blame, of falling on our knees before God, begging him to remove our desires to have a child or show us His way to that path, to let us feel His peace.
Don't ignore infertility.
God gives us wonderful doctors to help us through our lives: The bottom line...help is available. Without it we wouldn't have our beautiful children.
Visit Resolve's website for more information regarding infertility.
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