"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Very often it is only during the times of darkness in our lives that we cling to our beliefs, crying out to God to save us. Once we're "back on track" we remember He is there, but don't go to God as often as we should. I'm as guilt of this as anyone.

I try very hard to continually be thanking God for the blessings in my life and to praise Him for all that goes on: I'm not always successful. What made me realize this was looking back at my old posts...so many of them discuss my faith, my questions to God, my struggles with Him, my petitions to Him for a family. I don't know if I've moved away from that (in regards to blogging) because I've just been too busy or what.

I'm going to take a few moments here to talk about this very thing: My Thankfulness. I'm not going to say that I can see how all these things led us to His Perfect Plan, because, honestly, I don't.

One thing Matt and I agree on is that we wouldn't change anything in our life or anything that has happened in it. Does that mean we don't love our daughter? No it doesn't, we just wish we would have never had to go through that pain and devastation.

When we started our last cycle we both felt that it wasn't going to work, but that it was all in God's hands and if it did, it would be up to Him to prepare us for the outcome of that. We still very much feel that way...our success is only going to be determined by our "allowing" God to guide us; our happiness is only going to be determined by "allowing" God to guide us: Let Go, and Let God.

While I may not be able to see God's purpose/plan for the things that have happened...I can see the ways in which He has made things better, easier, for us.

I have absolutely no complaints about this pregnancy; another way in which I feel EXTREMELY blessed. My mom had very hard pregnancies with all 3 of us. There weren't complications or things like that, but she was VERY sick the entire time. I was rather nervous that I would be the same way...fortunately I'm not. I've been able to enjoy almost every minute of it, thus far. I'm grateful that I'm not "huge" yet, that I'm not really uncomfortable, and if I am it's bearable and isn't all the time....that I've pretty much been able to continue living my life.

Another thing for which I am thankful for is the peace that Matt and I both feel about our finances. Before IF we had saved up quite a bit of money that we were hoping to use to supplement our income, as well as pay off our housing grant. We don't have all that money anymore.

Both of us know that I cannot go back to my job, that if I have to, I'll find another (and we're entrusting that to God). We're completely at peace with the fact that we are going to have only one car (if Matt's car dies), that we aren't going to really have any income, that we may not have the finest things in life, but that we will have each other, our daughter, our home, our dogs, our chickens, and we'll be happy. Honestly, we're a little concerned about health insurance if I don't go back to work, but even that doesn't have us paranoid. That kind of peace can only come from one source: God.

I'm beyond thankful that we can be at peace with the things in our life, that we can see the blessings through the hard times, that we can be grateful for the simpler things in life, that we don't have to have to the flashy things (don't get me wrong...they're nice...I'd love a new minivan, but I wouldn't love the added stress of a payment).

Some people would look at our life (if it were their's) and think "I can't live like this!" We look at our life and think "I can't imagine it being any other way". We know that most people wouldn't feel comfortable with our life, but we know we would hate living the life of them...arguing with each other, keeping up with the Jones', etc etc.

I'm very thankful to God for my life and all the blessings in it. I'm thankful for having a husband as wonderful as Matt, I'm thankful that I have a partner and best friend that I can't imagine not having in my life, I'm thankful for our home, I'm thankful for our little girl.