Once upon a time there were two little girls, more a like than they realized. One was dressed in long denim skirts, with long sleeve tops, her hair pulled back in a braid; the other was dressed in Adidas tear-away pants, a Korn t-shirt, pumas and a pony tail. What on earth could these two girls, approaching adulthood have in common. Neither of them were dressing for themselves, and neither of them had a clue of what that look should be.
May I introduce to you, Trina Holden, the girl in the denim skirts and long sleeves. Author of the new book Embracing Beauty.
We knew each other the better part of 15+ years ago, until finding each other a few years back on Facebook. Both that lovely awkward age, when people have no idea what to wear, or what people will think of them, and probably doing themselves and no one else any favors in either department.
For both of us we were trying to project an image to others, an image which is not who we truly are, at least now. And that image worked. I thought of her as the Holier-than-thou bible thumper, and she thought of me as this worldly heavy metal devil music girl. Neither of us were those things, but what an impression {however wrong} our clothes made. You see, we were both dressing to impress other people, and had no idea how to dress ourselves well.
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The foundation for confident style always starts at the heart. If we are struggling with body image, no color, accessory, or style of clothing is going to fix that. So the first thing I ask women to do is to look at their bodies the way our Creator does--as beautiful, because He made us. You may be 100 Lbs. from your ideal weight, but you are still beautiful because God made women beautiful--it's that simple.
The next step is to look for inspiration in the right places. I'm all for building a pinterest board of styles you love, but if you're pinning outfits and models that are 6 sizes down from your own, that's simply a recipe for frustration. There are many, many beautiful, plus-sized women dressing their figures well. Find those images, and let them help you build a vision for your style at the weight you are right now.
2. What styles do you think look good on a plus size mama? Or are there styles that bigger ladies should stay AWAY from? Obviously
we're all different sizes and shapes, but is there a style that looks better? I know I'm in love with tiered peasant skirts, but have no idea if I can wear them...or if they'll make me look more like a box than a broom. At 4 months preggo, I'm 20 Lbs heavier than my 'ideal' body weight, so I've been dealing with how to dress a larger size! Some of the outfits I've come up with make me feel great, and some make me look like I'm wearing a sign that says "I Gained 10 Lbs This Month!” The principle I'm finding works for me is that of drawing Vertical Lines vs. Horizontal Lines:
Everything you've heard about horizontal stripes is true--they only work if you're as skinny as the stripe. Avoid any print or combination of layers that draws horizontal lines on your figure. I'm talking skirts and pants that end mid-leg, and top and bottoms that contrast highly, creating a line around your middle. All of these will emphasize your width.
Instead, you want layers that draw vertical lines, like long skirts and pants and long, layered accessories. Tops a similar shade or tone as your bottoms allow your eye to go from neck to ankle without stopping, giving a taller, slimmer illusion. Avoid an article of clothing if it's wider than it is long. That may include a very full peasant skirt, but doesn't exclude a gently tiered maxi skirt!
I also lean toward darker shades over pastels (yes, even in summer!), and clothes that drape my figure, rather than saran-wrap it. You will actually look thinner if your clothes aren't straining to cover you!
3. What ways can we add beauty to ourselves, particularly if our life really doesn't lend itself to wearing nicer looking clothes or jewelry? or that we just don't feel comfortable in jewelry?
I have plenty of days where I don't wear jewelry, or dress up at all. But I've found I can still be intentional about beauty just by wearing my favorite color! I've realized even my lounge-wear should be colors or styles that make me smile. Keeping my eyebrows groomed also helps me feel lovely even on non-makeup days.
Getting a hair style that looks good wash and go, rather than ONLY when I have time to do something with the curling iron is another favorite strategy.
4. I know you’ve addressed this question is other interviews, but do you think that your book is directed only to Moms? Do you think "Embracing Beauty" could help others? If so, who?
There's no question I wrote the book to moms. It's who I felt most equipped and called to encourage. But the principles for discerning your own style, the chapters on the heart of beauty and proper body image, and the thrift shopping techniques--these are applicable to anyone! Really, only the chapter on maternity fashion is specific to motherhood. Any woman can benefit from the content through the rest of the book.
If you’re interested in reading more of Trina’s new book “Embracing Beauty” you can get your copy here.
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