Joy of Four, with a Healthy Side of Reality

I can only describe what I feel about these three and Ave as absolute joy! I don't remember feeling like this with Ave. She was a joy as well, but it was different. There were so many things to have to learn and still thinking about infertility and whether we would have more children.

Ave has siblings! There are so many less clouds hanging over my head. I {almost} always have a smile on my face and am dancing around the house with Ave and the babies. It's wonderful. God has so incredibly blessed us!

People ask me how we're surviving, how we're dealing with having a 2 year old and THREE babies. I'm finding out that most people expect failure, they expect you to burst in to tears or say that it's horrible and you want to run away. And sometimes, it is. But, it's easier than I thought it would be. Then they look at me like I'm insane....which I am. I have to be. They look at me even crazier when they ask if we're done now and I say "Nope!" with a big ol' stupid grin on my face. My house may be trashed, but it's a home to 4 children....2 boys and 2 girls. Our kids, kids we didn't even know if we would ever have.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. ~ Phillipians 4.19

I honestly can't imagine how different it would be if we'd had triplets first. I have massive amounts of respect for first time parents of multiples! There is a reason that God gave us Ave first :-) I would have struggled so, SO very much with losing "control" on things like keeping the laundry done, the house clean, a baby that won't be consoled, and everything else all at once times 2 or 3. I'm much better at realizing that sometimes "Ok" is enough {please note, I said "better" not perfect...I'm still extremely an.al about things, which is why I don't go to bed until midnight most nights or I'm up at 5am}.

Now, here's the truth. I still have major issues with things not getting done, I still have freak out sessions when I'm trying to calm a screaming kid, put a pacifier in 3 babies' mouths, deal with the dogs, make sure the chickens have food and water, then decide that I really NEED to make some freezer meals for two friends who just had their second baby.

I admit, more than willingly, that I kind of started to feel my blood pressure creep up and ended up yelling at the dogs to shut up, muttering about Matt needing to take care of the chickens, or I'm going to kill them myself {since we don't even get eggs from them anymore!}, and thinking why on earth won't these babies just take a whole bottle and be at peace for a few hours, rather than taking an ounce here, then being ok for 30 minutes only to start fussing again! Oh, and I may or may not have eaten a half of a jar of Nutella for lunch today (and it wasn't the small size).

I admit it, it is sometimes really, really hard, especially when I'm home alone in the evenings and babies are fussing and I'm trying to get Ave in bed, but even then it's nowhere near the darkness I sometimes felt when Ave was a baby and would fuss and cry for hours in the evening. I guess because I know that a baby screaming isn't going to kill anyone, that it's ok if I can't get to that baby RIGHT NOW! It has to be ok.

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. ~ Colossians 3.17

So often, when in the thick of it, I forget to remember...that God gave us all four of these children, that it's OK to ask Him for help in whatever ways I need it. I heard a quote a few years ago, "God may not always give us what we want {well-behaved, easy children, clean house, etc etc}, but He will always give us what we NEED"...His Grace. That is all we need. Once I can FORCE myself to remember that I'm able to take a deep breath and move forward.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ~ Matthew 11.28-29

Confession: Sometimes, on a really prideful level I want people to look at me and think "She's supermom! She can do it all!"....I'm working on this one. The times I find myself annoyed and angry about things not being what I think they should be, is when I realize I'm trying to glorify myself, not Him. That is something I struggle with a lot.

What things do you find yourself being equally joyful and frustrated with? What stresses do you find yourself creating in your own life?