My philosophy was to make fun of myself and put myself out there before anyone else had the chance to call me on the spot or otherwise draw attention to me. I felt that if it was me doing it I was at least in control.
As an adult I'm really rather the opposite. I'm still very shy, but I now avoid any situation that would draw attention to myself. I'm most comfortable staying at home or with family. I don't feel comfortable meeting new people. I always talk way too much, say things that I end up rethinking, and in general end up feeling like people, for the most part, would rather have not met me.
In spite of this I think I'm going to a Christian blogging conference. Me, who has only met 4 people that I know from online, is going to a blogging conference. Me, who is EXTREMELY quiet, shy, and reserved about her faith is going to a Christian blogging conference. Of course, this comes with it's own set of issues, beginning with transportation and lodging.
On top of being shy...I'm also a bit of a control freak. I have to do things certain ways, like have my own car, have my sound machine at night, etc etc. For me, it's really a lot easier to stay home, but I'm really feeling that I have to go to this conference. I'm not sure how things will be managed on the home front with me gone for 3 days or where the money is going to come from to foot the bill for my lodging and gas, but I think I'm going to go.
Now, I'm asking all of you to pray for whomever, if anyone, I end up carpooling and rooming with. But Allume 2012...HERE I COME! Tickets go on sale March 1st...let me know if you're going!
6 comments:
and I will see you there!!! went first year, missed last year, and definitely going this year! You won't feel shy because there is so much love and so many hugs and crying! You will feel accepted just the way you are! I know...been there and I was a nervous wreck but only til I saw my first fellow conference goer and then it was fine the rest of the weeked......the walls went down. Can't wait to meet you! You inspire me!
I will see you there! :-)
So fun! Good for you. I hope I can find a way to go.
Wow!!! Good for you, Jess! You are so inspiring to listen to your heart and go for it. It's no easy task, and you amaze me. :)
I'm looking forward to meeting you. I am uncomfortable and super quiet in groups--part of me is wondering if I am out of mind for having bought a ticket...(besides the fact that my blog doesn't really fit in the catagory of "Christian woman"...) I know what you mean about wondering if other people would have rather not have met me (or I wonder if they think I'm just plain odd or even dumb.) Anyway, part of me is also very excited about going--and I am looking forard to meeting you!
I just found your bolg from Ann's blogging community today...I am so much like you! I recently discovered the Allure conference and I would LOVE to go and praying things will work out for me to go. (if spots are still open) It's even going to be on my 40th birthday! What a wonderful gift that would be! (I hinted to my husband!) I am quiet as well and love to write even though I wonder if it's worth posting...it's been a new adventure this blogging stuff. And BTW...I have to have a sound machine at night, too! :) Happy writing and I pray that I'll meet you at the conference!
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