Sanctity of Human Life Sunday

Today is Sanctity of Human Life Sunday: As is the whole month of January.

I've always struggled with abortion on some level. I've never felt that it was right, but a necessary evil to protect someone else's right...the woman's. I'm still struggling with this.

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked" (Psalm 82:3-4).

I decided that I was OK with first trimester abortions, or those that were medically necessary. I decided that I was NOT OK with abortion as a method of birth control, or abortion after the 12th week of pregnancy, or partial birth abortions.

Then I was pregnant. I saw that heart beating away at 6 weeks, heard it at 8 weeks, knowing that was MY CHILD. Of course infertility puts a whole 'nother spin on the abortion topic...knowing that I would give my life to have someone else's unexpected, unwanted child.

I tried to pigeon-hole God in the whole thing. Then I read and saw a few things...I heard about partial birth abortions, abortions in the first trimester (or later), I heard the stories of people who SURVIVED being aborted, I heard about doctors who botched abortions and then literally murdered a child that had survived, I heard about doctors who botched abortions that killed the mother's to be, and I heard about the woman who regret having an abortion.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be" (Psalm 139:13-16).

Then I started to think about this more. How can I say that murder is a sin, but that it's ok to abort a pregnancy...full-well knowing that my daughter was alive and moving and her heart beating at 6 weeks? How can I say that it's ok to end a pregnancy when God Himself has planned that life since the beginning of all time?

People say that abortion is a woman's right to choose; but that woman already made a choice....to have sex (regardless of whatever methods of birth control were used, or not). At what point do we say that one person's rights are more important than another's?

Of course those questions move us in another direction, and this is where I struggle: What about rape victims or victims of incest? Sex was not a choice for them...they had no say in the entire matter in regards to potentially creating a life. In the case of rape victims there are preventative measures that can be taken, after the fact.

Or what about children who, because of whatever social expectations that our youth are now faced with younger and younger, have sex? At what age do we hold them accountable for their actions? Is it more important to spare them pains of going through pregnancy? Or give them the sufferings of realizing that a life was snuffed out because of their choice?

Time and time again I hear about how abortion is a woman's choice, but I also hear about how the women who made that choice regret it. The guilt they feel over ending another's life.

This post isn't about being pro-life or pro-choice or anything else: It's about my struggling to reconcile the world to God.

"Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." James 4:4

Growing up I remember our pastor speaking about abortion and God's plans. He told us a story about a woman who probably should've had an abortion. I'm sure you've heard the story: "There was a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion? "If you said 'yes,' you've just killed Beethoven."

While information in this story is incorrect (Beethoven was the 2nd born), the point remains the same: What wonderful lives are we ending through abortion? Conversely what lives would we be sparing (for example if Hitler's mother had aborted him) if permitted. Who are we to decide who should live and who should die? I know I don't want that responsibilty...best leave it to someone (God) who knows all.

So, I'm not trying to spark debate as to the rightness or wrongness of abortion (regardless as to the circumstances, stage of pregnancy or anything else). What I want, is nothing more than to make you think: Why do you feel the way you do about abortion? For myself, every day, I am growing more and more pro-life. I ask the Lord to show me how to reconcile the things I mentioned (rape etc) with the wrongness of abortion.

"Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture" (Psalm 100:3).