Provisions and Promises

I started this post last week, before the crazy started again this past weekend: I’ll leave it as it was.
This past weekend is another post, for another day.

Things have settled down a bit from last week. At the very least we’ve gathered our wits about us a bit more and don’t feel like we’re swimming in quicksand.  One of the things I’ve been asking myself is just why is it so hard to remember God’s promises when the proverbial hits the fan?! While the answer is easy {Satan}, that doesn’t make it any easier to remember it, at least not for me.

Be strong and courageous, for you shall go with this people into the land that the Lord has sworn to their fathers to give, and you shall put them in possession of it. It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave your or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Deuteronomy 31:7-8

Be strong. Be courageous. That’s easy enough to do when I’ve got my head on straight and time to think. Even off the cuff, I’m pretty able to keep it together. I’m one of those people who cases a place when I get there…where are the exits? what are the possible situations? I do the same thing in the car or in traffic. I am the epitome of crisis management’s “be prepared”. But even them, I’m relying on me, what I am capable of, and forgetting the only one I should rely on.

It’s hard to remember that God’s got this, regardless of what “this” is. It’s even harder when you feel like God’s let you down, and that’s how I felt that Friday. While the fire was devastating, and many things were lost, and it was another punch to the gut about the building permit and car, my real struggle was with God.

I had been fervently in prayer for the past 12 hours, for our building permit, for our family and for others. Now, before you think that I have this convoluted idea that just because I had prayed means that I think God’s in my court, I don’t. Just as often as the answers may be what I want, sometimes they’re just not. What left me feeling the most deflated was knowing that despite my faithfulness, prayers weren’t answered, and things unforeseen happened {the house fire and the deer}.

My faithfulness, like God goes about rewarding those who have dotted the Is and crossed the Ts on the Christian-To-Do-List. Ha! HE is the one that is faithful, not me. I have no idea what it even means to be faithful: There is only one who is faithful. Regardless of how faithful anyone else on this planet is, there is no one who is as Faithful as God.

He is faithful to the end: His promises and goodness will last forever. Long after I’ve been forgotten. And that’s what I’ve been clinging to: His goodness, His faithfulness, His promise.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5

And that’s what I need to remember. This isn’t about me, it isn’t about what I think God should have done. It’s about what God has already done, in and for me: Claiming me as His own, and sending His son to die in my place. It’s about what God will do, what He has promised to me over and over again.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.
You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11-12

How hard it is to remember that no matter what, God has already provided for our every need and that he will continue to do so, whether it’s our salvation or our sustenance. That He promises to be our refuge and our protection, to never, ever forsake us.