5 Minute Friday - Deep Breath..

Wanna just write? Without wondering if it’s just right or not. You’re welcome to play along. The rules are easy.

1. Write your heart out for five minutes and show us what you’ve got.
2. Tell your readers you’re linking up here and invite them to play along.
3. And most importantly, go visit, read, and encourage the fellow five-minuter who linked up right before you.{I humbly beg you to turn off word verification for the day to make this easier!}

Deep Breath....

I feel like I'm standing at the edge of a pool, preparing myself to take the plunge. And in a way I am, what happens today with invariable affect my life, in one way or another. If today results in the outcome I desire, it means that Avelyn will be a big sister (and an awesome one at that!). If it doesn't turn out the way I want, it means we're down another vial and 1 more closer to having to make some seriously big decisions.

I catch myself holding my breath and remind myself, "Breath! Breath!" God is in control as he always is, I just have to surrender my ridiculousness and allow him to have control of my heart and mind, as well as my body. It's never been easy for me to give up control. I keep hoping that some day I will be able to do it well. Hasn't happened yet.

I've been able to trust God fully and feel his presence the past two weeks through all of this and yet, here I stand, at the moment I need to trust Him the most and I'm drawing myself away, closing myself up, not breathing. I remind myself "take a deep breath; that we ever had Ave was a miracle. Why do I believe that He could put a child in Mary's womb, but not my own, even when it has happened before?" I don't know the answer. I know I need to keep breathing, deep, cleansing breaths to renew myself and remove this negativity that I know comes at the hands of the Evil One: "SATAN BEGONE! I REBUKE YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST!"

Deep breath....keep taking them....from now ....until it's over.....whenever that may be.