"A beautiful woman is a practical poet, taming her savage mate, planting tenderness, hope and eloquence in all whom she approaches." ~

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've been a bit hesitant to post about the third book that I had previously mentioned. Namely because I know it's going to get more than few people's goats; which is not at all my intention in posting about it.

Instead, I'm going to post something that I wrote in my freshman composition class in college.

(Disclaimer to this and my coming post: I am in no way against the professional woman, even as a now SAHM I am still a "professional woman" because I own my own business. Unfortunately in this world today, due to financial (and for some infertility) reasons women are unable to not work.)

The Plight of the “Old-Fashioned” Girl

By Jessica M. Beckmann

Some older women (i.e. my mother and grandmother’s generation) find me to be a refreshing voice, clamoring above the din of the lost and, often, confused “feminists” of my generation; those of my own generation find me as invigorating as a glass of warm beer that has lost most of its fizz. I suppose the difference of opinion about me can be blamed, if it must be blamed on something, on the books I read growing up: Laura Ingalls Wilder, Louisa May Alcott, and other such seemingly “un-feminist” writers.

Lately, I seem to continually be getting slammed by the door of expectations: societies, not mine. Growing up I had always thought of myself as a feminist: I refused to ask a male for help and in fact thought the majority of males to be a slobbering, blundering bunch of idiots. Now I am on the opposite end of the spectrum. I still refuse to ask for assistance, but see no problem in a man holding a door or pulling out the chair for me before I sit down.

The problem seems to be more deeply rooted than just politeness and social formalities. People, or my female peers rather, find it odd that I have no desire to live with my boyfriend before married and that I do desire to get married and have children while still relatively young (before thirty). Many think that that is “unnatural” that a woman in today’s day and age would want to settle down to the permanency of marriage and children so soon. I say why not.

I suppose my beliefs can be seen as somewhat “old-fashioned” and how that can be something negative in today’s race for equality with men. I have no doubt in my mind that men and women are equal in almost every aspect; we are just as intelligent, just as capable, and just as qualified to perform most tasks as men are: In some case we are genuinely more qualified. There are also ways in which a woman is a “cut above” a man and wearing a business suit will not accomplish it.

There are two ways in which women are far superior to the frailty of the male race: birthing and wifehood. No man can accomplish either of these two tasks, no man is capable of withstanding the “trials and tribulations” associated with these two profession, for professions they are. Yes, men do play a rather large part in both these fields, but it is the woman who holds the power. Do you honestly think the ancient kings would have willing given any thought, let alone power, to women if the did not need them to proliferate their line? A man is entirely incapable of physically having a child just as he is unable to be a wife in a marriage. To me I see no detriment in aspiring to these two professions; I see great honor, and respect, in holding these positions.

People my own age have a severe problem with my goals in life. They find it odd: They do not understand why someone who has a BS in English wants nothing more from life than to be a wife and a mother; To stay home and teach her own children and support her husband. If you had asked me five years ago what I wanted to do in life I would have said that I wanted to work for National Geographic Magazine as a photojournalist, now the answer is that I want to write. I gave up on saying I want to get married and have children; too many looks of disapproval.

Many people just assume that I do not have any career goals because I want to do something out of the expected: How wrong they are! Among being a wife and mother I have many other “career” goals: I want to be a writer, be published, and I want to be an “intellect”. Learning and writing are two of my greatest passions; I find no greater pleasure, yet, than collecting my thoughts and scrawling them out on paper or reading the words that others have put down and learning about them, and myself, from their ink. Just because I have no desire to become involved in the everyday rat race and chase after professional titles, does not mean I have no career goals.

The ironic thing, to me, is the ideals held by feminists. They believe themselves to be equals to males and find it debasing that I would willingly sub-plant myself to a man. The more I look at it, most of the women I know, who consider themselves “feminists”, rely more on men than I do. Simple things, such as construction, home repair, checking the oil in a car, these women are dependant on men for. In the ways of self-reliance I am more a feminist than most. I am able to take care of many “manly” things myself. I do not need to call someone to install flooring in my home or take my car to the shop for simple things, I can do both myself; which is more than I can say for most females.

While society is shaming me for my desire to be an “old-fashioned” girl I have become increasingly more proud of whom I am. I no longer struggle with feeling guilty when someone looks at me crooked when I say I want to be married and have children before I am twenty-five. I know that there is just as much pride in what I think is a successful “career” as the women on Wall Street.

When a peer finds it odd that I do not believe in living with my future husband before married and that I desire children soon, I no longer feel ashamed. I know that for hundreds of years before me women knew that they were equal to men, and far superior, because of their “womanly” persona.

Feminism: Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes