Four weeks!

:-( FOUR WEEKS! Where did four weeks go? I'm really not looking forward to December (one month old). We weighed A and her cousin at the store yesterday: A was 10.25 lbs (clothed and diapered) and C (who's 4 months today) was 14lbs.

We're having a bit of an issue with bed time: A seems to think that 10:30pm-1:30am is party time, but even she is too tired to party and just whinges and cries. She settles down, I put her in the bassinet, she's ok, I turn off the light and within seconds of that WAAAAAA! The kid hates it when I turn off the light...she's busy being nosy and looking at everything.

I'm a bad mother, don't tell the parent-police...we usually end up with A in bed with us, her sleeping on one of our chests. It is, quite honestly, the only way she will actually sleep some nights and when I can barely stay awake it works. The whole fussy thing is weird....because once she passes out from exhaustion she'll sleep a good 4-5 hours. We have had a couple of nights if 10:30-2:30, up for an hour (diaper, bottle etc) then down from 3:30-7:30: Those are the nights I wished would repeat frequently.

All of this said, I wouldn't exchange it for the world or wish it to get over with quickly. Seeing our niece, C, at 4 months scares the poop out of me. She's no longer a baby...she's holding up her head....wanting to do her own thing. I don't want A to grow up, at all, I'll take the fussing and crying if it means that she'll slow down and not grow up so quickly.

Breastfeeding: I think it's on the way out...not because I want, or am ready for, it to be. I'm actually kind of really sad and wish that I would have tried harder...even though, with our schedule, I don't think it would have been possible to try harder. Most days I'm in the store (with A) for 6+ hours...I don't have time to pump or even think about it.

I usually pump in the morning (I'm not waking up leaking anymore) and I always pump just before bed. What's odd is that I went from last Wednesday getting 2ozs total, to Friday only getting an 1oz. I'm not sure if it's lack of drinking, pumping or what.

I will honestly say, once we had the kinks worked out, I enjoyed breastfeeding. It really was a bonding time with Miss A. I think part of our dilemma is that A is a VIOLENT feeder...she's like a rottweiler with a T-bone steak. She doesn't sit still and quite frankly the boob will only go so far from my body. At first I thought it was just her frustration with not getting enough, but she does it with the bottle too.

So, yes I am sad, yes I wish I would have tried harder at it, but there's nothing to be gained by beating myself up about it. I do plan on continuing to pump/express as much as I can, for as long as I can. I did stop using the supplementer, but I think I'm going to pull it back out and try doing that, just to keep my supply up as much as possible.

Ok, on to the fun stuff! We had a lot of firsts this past week:

First Thanksgiving


First time meeting her cousin (C) and her aunt and uncle (BIL and PP)
First time going to church (no pictures)
First Christmas tree outing
First baby shower (no pictures): Yes, I took her to a baby shower...in spite of my proclamation against people doing that. I knew there would be no potential infertiles at this shower and knew I was only going to be staying for a little while and I knew there would probably be no one there who knew me. Matt wanted to get some things done outside so I A went along. She was very well behaved and I'm glad I brought her because it took away some of the awkwardness of not knowing anyone.

All in all we've been busy. We go to the pediatrician on Tuesday for another check up and then she's a month old..... :'( WAAAAAHHHH!!!