How often do you hear women (and men) bad mouthing their spouses? Or decrying how horrible their spouse is? How inefficient, unhelpful, and incompetent they are? More and more this is becoming a major pet-peeve of mine.
I try to never speak badly of Matt to anyone. Yes, I vent to my mom or sister, but I never belittle or demean him to them. Any squabble between us, is just that between us.
I can't go to the hairdresser, the massage therapist, work, without someone bad mouthing men/husbands: "Just like a man", "They're all the same", "Good for sex and nothing else". It drives me nuts.
Men are not all the same and they're not just good for sex. I know I'm blessed with an extraordinary husband, who isn't a "typical man". I have a hard time believing that the majority of the female population feels so strongly against husbands/men, that they are ok with bad-mouthing their spouses in front of people who are practically strangers. "Hatred" of men is not a unified opinion of all women.
Women aren't the only ones who do this, men are just as guilty of belittling their wives in public: "The old ball and chain", "my old lady". They talk about their wives in such ways, and act all tough, that they're the "man of the house" and their wife better hop-to-it for them. I asked one of the men I worked with if he talked to his wife the way he says he talks to her at work: "No, if I did she'd clobber me upside the head". So why do it at work?!
I think a good portion of the problems in our society are due to a lack of respect. I think one of the biggest causes of divorce are husbands and wives who denigrate their spouses, belittling them to the general public (whether they are together in public or not).
How do people expect to raise kind, considerate, and respectful children if we show them that it's ok to verbally tear apart the one person that we're supposed to love.
I try to never speak badly of Matt to anyone. Yes, I vent to my mom or sister, but I never belittle or demean him to them. Any squabble between us, is just that between us.
I can't go to the hairdresser, the massage therapist, work, without someone bad mouthing men/husbands: "Just like a man", "They're all the same", "Good for sex and nothing else". It drives me nuts.
Men are not all the same and they're not just good for sex. I know I'm blessed with an extraordinary husband, who isn't a "typical man". I have a hard time believing that the majority of the female population feels so strongly against husbands/men, that they are ok with bad-mouthing their spouses in front of people who are practically strangers. "Hatred" of men is not a unified opinion of all women.
Women aren't the only ones who do this, men are just as guilty of belittling their wives in public: "The old ball and chain", "my old lady". They talk about their wives in such ways, and act all tough, that they're the "man of the house" and their wife better hop-to-it for them. I asked one of the men I worked with if he talked to his wife the way he says he talks to her at work: "No, if I did she'd clobber me upside the head". So why do it at work?!
I think a good portion of the problems in our society are due to a lack of respect. I think one of the biggest causes of divorce are husbands and wives who denigrate their spouses, belittling them to the general public (whether they are together in public or not).
How do people expect to raise kind, considerate, and respectful children if we show them that it's ok to verbally tear apart the one person that we're supposed to love.
5 comments:
Mark has been known to refer to me as: The War Department, The Financial Adviser, and She Who Must Be Obeyed. I can take those.
I honestly don't bad mouth him. I, like you, vent to my mom but I even keep that to a minimum. I call him "too stupid to breathe" occasionally after this last round of seizure and passing out, but he knows that it scared the crap out of me and the only way I can deal is to joke. And he laughs when I say it.
I think we all do it to a certain extent...jokingly. Matt and I call each other fart-face and stinky butt, wench and wanker, but we both do it jokingly with each other, no one else.
I'm with you on the financial advisor, Matt refers to me as his financier.
Agreed! This is one of my pet peeves as well. I also talk to my mom, not to vent as much as to try to problem solve when needed, ie, to get perspective and help...okay, also sometimes to vent. :) But I think it's so wrong to do it to random people and to peers...I always hated it when my husband's friends would get together, b/c the for the wives, it turned into a big husband bashing session.
Wish more people saw it like you do....
I can't agree more. It's amazing how that has become socializing. A group of women sitting around bad mouthing there husbands. It might not be your style, but Dr. Laura has a whole section about it in either Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage or Proper Care and Feeding of a Husband. I'm not going to push any ideas on anyone, but a lot of Dr. Laura's ideas are basic common courtesy and traditional values. It's kinda scary that so many people can be outraged by telling someone to treat her husband nicely and not bad mouth him to her friends.
I second the notion!!! :-) I'm a new reader here but so far, am impressed with your willingness to take on what seems to be, most of society! While I don't run to my mom I keep it for my married close gal friends who understand right where I am... I am VERY lucky though in that my husband is wonderfully amazing!!! ;-)
And I had to laugh out loud with the jokingly name calling! We so do that too!!! It's hilarious to hear what names we come up with sometimes! :-)
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